tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post7241369554068236778..comments2023-10-18T09:24:06.238-05:00Comments on Stefanie Says: The rest of the story, because I promised it to you. But then, back to our regularly scheduled frivolity, I hope.Stefaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10128238432671375399noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-54738079086954101672009-03-31T14:45:00.000-05:002009-03-31T14:45:00.000-05:00Jimmy ______ is a #1 liar jackass fucker shithead....Jimmy ______ is a #1 liar jackass fucker shithead. I am so sorry you got caught up in his lies! I know how horrible it is to have someone disappear on you...especially when you have a lot dating experience and feel that rare flicker of potential. True he is not good enough for you, but that doesn't make it hurt less. Be as angry as you need and as horrible as this sounds, that miserable assclown will get his.Maddiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08265064473412574363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-23227456325419742942009-03-27T23:23:00.000-05:002009-03-27T23:23:00.000-05:00OMIGOD I figured it out!!Now you won't wonder. You...OMIGOD I figured it out!!<BR/>Now you won't wonder. You wondered all those years, and now you know, and when it's 5AM and you haven't gotten a wink of sleep because kiddo #1 has been having nightmares, and kiddo #2 is still breastfeeding and is hungry every two hours, and your dear hubby wants ten more minutes of sleep, you will never say to yourself: Self, I wonder what would have happened if I had met up with Jimmy at a different place in life.<BR/><BR/>This was what you needed to find out before you met your true love, so you wouldn't doubt it!!<BR/><BR/>OK, also, I'm watching Princess Bride.Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16291574031174507827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-51335356401531936562009-03-26T15:08:00.000-05:002009-03-26T15:08:00.000-05:00I feel like the "Hi guys! Happy Birthday!" tells ...I feel like the "Hi guys! Happy Birthday!" tells me what I need to know about Jimmy. If he can mistreat you that blatantly then act like nothing's wrong when he sees you, there's something just the tiniest bit sociopathic about the boy, methinks. (And I hardly ever bust out a "methinks," so clearly I am pissed, but in a somewhat archaic way!) I think it's good that you let him have it, profanity and all. He might not let on that it bothered him, but you know that at some point when he's messed things up for himself yet again, he'll remember what you said and realize that he is indeed a complete fuckwit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-3051970736432934642009-03-26T14:46:00.000-05:002009-03-26T14:46:00.000-05:00Wow. He is a complete douche. You were right to ...Wow. He is a complete douche. You were right to call him an asshole and I'm proud of you for doing it. I never have the balls to say thing like that.Shellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10252114894311470243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-54711691021792612112009-03-26T14:42:00.000-05:002009-03-26T14:42:00.000-05:00Oh. My. Asshole is much too kind of a word for Ji...Oh. My. Asshole is much too kind of a word for Jimmy. <BR/><BR/>After I got divorced I was working through a ton of anger. I began going to counseling and she suggested I use a pillow and punch the hell out of it and scream my head off into it whenever the anger was about to boil over. I highly recommend it. <BR/><BR/>I'm so sorry this happened to you.Sauntering Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14828034063817184110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-44677336516299329692009-03-25T22:42:00.000-05:002009-03-25T22:42:00.000-05:00Stef--That's probably part of it, but I think I'm ...Stef--That's probably part of it, but I think I'm also mad/disappointed that I held onto all those mostly positive thoughts about him over the years, thinking that if we'd met at another point in our lives, it really could have worked, and it turns out all that wondering was for nothing, as eight years later, when he's supposed to be a full-fledged grown-up, he actually treated me WORSE than the first time. Grr.<BR/><BR/>Monkey--Thanks. That seems to be the general consensus. I guess it doesn't matter anyway. Obviously all that pot fried the guy's brain so he doesn't remember anything I say (or anything HE said), so he probably doesn't even remember I called him an asshole at this point. :-(<BR/><BR/>R--The thing is, both this time and last time, he was a really GOOD boyfriend initially. Apparently that good phase just has a really short shelf life. With me, anyway. This new girl? Who the hell knows. I suppose since he's homeless without her, he'll try harder? Good luck with that, dude.<BR/><BR/>NPW--Do you remember that our last meetup was a year ago this weekend?? I would definitely love to see you again soon. We'll talk more.<BR/><BR/>3Cs--He may not be a BAD person, but he's a careless one. More so than I realized, I guess. And it's funny you mention the Seinfeld reference. I always did feel a little silly calling someone I was dating "Jimmy," but there wasn't much I could do about that.<BR/><BR/>Mair--I believe you're referring to "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," and I think the point of it was that memories are worth holding on to, so I guess I should rethink that part. Maybe I just want to erase our do-over, not the whole memory of him. Despite what I said in January about not caring if this went anywhere, I'm thinking now I was probably better off not even having this reunion. Or not. Hell, who knows.<BR/><BR/>R--I knew what you meant. :-) Got it.<BR/><BR/>Sarah--Someone else I know said cockroach, so you're on the same page. And I will try not to let it carry over, but it's hard not to get more and more jaded over time. It's a delicate balance, the trust vs. guardedness thing.<BR/><BR/>NGS--Thanks. I'm sort of surprised not a single person yet has said that yeah, the asshole thing was harsh or low. Glad, but surprised.<BR/><BR/>Liz--That WILL show him! I enjoy seeing what you're having for breakfast each day!! :-)<BR/><BR/>kwr221--Indeed. What sucks more is that *I* am the one feeling sucky, though. But I guess we've already covered that.<BR/><BR/>Courtney--Ha! Those crazy Mormon vampires DO have a way of working themselves into more areas of your life than you expect, don't they? <BR/><BR/>Jess--That pretty much nails it. Assholes have all the luck, don't they? (Soooo not the point. I'm kidding.)<BR/><BR/>Alice--That's it exactly. If he had been an asshole the whole time I was with him, I never would have been WITH him! It sucks when they trick you like that. :-(<BR/><BR/>Abbersnail--Manchild is a good word. And is it wrong that I'm sort of hoping D. happens? It's wrong, isn't it? Sorry. Forget I said that.Stefaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10128238432671375399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-40004428754052070782009-03-25T14:06:00.000-05:002009-03-25T14:06:00.000-05:00A. I think the term "asshole" is really quite gene...A. I think the term "asshole" is really quite generous of you.<BR/>2. I would very much like to kick the shit out of that manchild right now.<BR/>D. Thank GOD you aren't the one having to deal with his complete maturity meltdown right now. Is it OK to say that? I am just really glad that you're not the one whose life/finances/living situation he is highly likely to send into ruin within the next few months.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-78421026619206033052009-03-25T13:11:00.000-05:002009-03-25T13:11:00.000-05:00ha, i was just about to talk about my dear friend ...ha, i was just about to talk about my dear friend karl myself. basically though: i know that shitty feeling well. and while jimmy IS an asshole (obvs), what hurt me a lot in my situation (and sounds similar to you) was that karl actually WASN'T an asshole. not while we were dating, not the way he treated me. he was a really great, wonderful boyfriend.. right up until the very last second when HA HA i'm leaving you for another woman even though 35 seconds ago i told you i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you OOPS. so clearly: asshole. except the thing that made it hurt so much more was that he WASN'T an asshole, not the guy i knew and had dated and had opened up to and given my love to. <BR/><BR/>so. yeah. the whole asshole dichotomy (and the OMG IF HE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE WHY IS HE THE ONE WITH A NEW GF ALREADY thing) sucks. i'm sorry :-(Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15287792370490363047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-28381842122180034322009-03-25T12:53:00.000-05:002009-03-25T12:53:00.000-05:00I'm glad you didn't delete this. It was so enlight...I'm glad you didn't delete this. It was so enlightening. What a fuckface. This whole thing reminds me of that bullshit Karl pulled on Alice. Remember that? Why is that someone can be such an asshole and yet the person they're treating badly is the one who feels bad after? It's because you're NOT an asshole, and the side effect of not being an asshole is that you have feelings and they can be hurt, but that is worth it in order to not be an asshole, you know? You did dodge a bullet but it's still OK to feel hurt, because it's very upsetting to find out that what you thought about someone was totally wrong, you know? And all those happy feelings feel like they're just fake because they were about someone who turned out to be a nasty asshole bullet.<BR/><BR/>I feel certain that karma will bite him in the ass.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15942269316108576622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-80119300032866021392009-03-25T12:43:00.000-05:002009-03-25T12:43:00.000-05:00OH HELL NO. New girlfriend? Happy birthday?!? I th...OH HELL NO. New girlfriend? <I>Happy birthday?!?</I> I think you are perfectly justified in calling him an asshole. He deserved it.<BR/><BR/>I know you've heard it before, but you really are too good for him. Much too good. I think the hurt and disppointment you're feeling is not because you're not with him, but because you know you don't deserve to be treated that way. It's natural, and I'm glad you're taking an adult approach and cutting ties altogether.<BR/><BR/>Don't worry; I know your Edward is out there somewhere. (Shit, how did Twilight get in here?) :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-92120557667012294562009-03-25T10:36:00.001-05:002009-03-25T10:36:00.001-05:00Ouch. That sucks.No, HE sucks.Royally.Ouch. That sucks.<BR/><BR/>No, <B>HE</B> sucks.<BR/><BR/>Royally.kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15742602790112005494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-28371945025796206602009-03-25T10:36:00.000-05:002009-03-25T10:36:00.000-05:00Give yourself permission to feel angry as long as ...Give yourself permission to feel angry as long as you feel angry. You have every right. Those of us in the lynch mob are angry right along with you, you know. :)<BR/><BR/>Do NOT let him make you feel guilty in any way. I think you went easy on him, all things considered.<BR/><BR/>I "removed" a facebook "friend" for the first time, too. I decided if "Brandon Walsh/Steve Sanders" couldn't respond politely to my offer to at least be friends (which he never did), he wasn't going to get to know what I eat for breakfast every day. That'll show him! ;)lizgwizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10907508137794025189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-62291846271036812692009-03-25T09:58:00.000-05:002009-03-25T09:58:00.000-05:00Ohhhh...I'm so sorry. I'm sending you happy vibes...Ohhhh...I'm so sorry. I'm sending you happy vibes and hope that you are feeling happier soon.<BR/><BR/>And, yeah, totally release yourself of guilt. Sometimes people need to be told they're assholes!!NGShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04056381269070465424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-82342275786023672002009-03-25T09:29:00.000-05:002009-03-25T09:29:00.000-05:00Since he's a Buddhist and believes in reincarnatio...Since he's a Buddhist and believes in reincarnation, at least you can take comfort that at the rate he's going in this life, he'll come back as something fun (like a dungbeetle) in his next. He is an asshole, but don't let that carry over to the next guy. There are some really great ones out there, and while they are hard to find sometimes, that only increases their value when you do find them. Hang in there!Sarah B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09078473765976012321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-16672078000190678402009-03-25T09:25:00.000-05:002009-03-25T09:25:00.000-05:00Just to clarify - I have no idea if he's a good pe...Just to clarify - I have no idea if he's a good person. I just meant that he might be a good person, except in the boyfriend dept.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-66853099447820894682009-03-25T08:56:00.000-05:002009-03-25T08:56:00.000-05:00Oof, girl. I'm really sorry it went down like that...Oof, girl. I'm really sorry it went down like that. When I build the next facebook, there will be a "remove from memory" box, much like that one movie with jim Carey and Kate winslet whose name escapes me now. Until then, I second that's he's a jackass shithead, and I agree that it's completely unfair that you're the one left with the Hirt while he sails along unknowingly. It'll catch up to him, though; it always does.Mairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06258303964205159058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-39710888022441265262009-03-25T07:26:00.000-05:002009-03-25T07:26:00.000-05:00I've got to possibly disagree with -R-'s opinion t...I've got to possibly disagree with -R-'s opinion that Jimmy is a good person. Do unto others, and all that? That doesn't have good person written all over it. Although, people make mistakes, and I suppose I shouldn't label him as "bad" because of a single (huge, uncalled for, shockingly horrible) mistake.<BR/><BR/>There is obviously something not right with him. To meet, fall in love (or something) with someone and move in with them while the person you are seeing is gone for several days? All I can say is that girl shouldn't ever plan on taking a trip without him.<BR/><BR/>I was going to say if there is a Stefanie Says distribution list, I'd like to be on it, but apparently there is not.<BR/><BR/>The thing that bothers me most? He stirred up a whole new type of distrust in you with which the next guy is going to have to deal. That seems so unfair. That distrust should somehow belong solely to Jimmy.<BR/><BR/>(on an off note, when I typed "Jimmy", all I could think of was that Seinfeld where Elaine meets the guy who always talks in third person and she doesn't realize he is talking about himself: "Jimmy likes Elaine.")3carnationshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15942247215569463561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-334109390305719712009-03-25T07:19:00.000-05:002009-03-25T07:19:00.000-05:00As I said in my email, I think the best way to hel...As I said in my email, I think the best way to help you past this situation is to have another blogger meet-up. Let's plan for May! Then we all have something to look forward to! <BR/><BR/>And also, Jimmy _________ is a total asshole. No guilt required.shelleycoughlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04356701520189971892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-81002530646949764412009-03-25T07:09:00.000-05:002009-03-25T07:09:00.000-05:00I wish you weren't second guessing yourself becaus...I wish you weren't second guessing yourself because you are a smart and fun person. My unsolicited opinion is that Jimmy may be a good person, but he is a HORRIBLE boyfriend. It is ok to be angry. It is ok to call him an asshole. I think it's really cool that you told him what an asshole he is being, and I think his reaction showed you that you would not want to be with him anyway.<BR/><BR/>I'm always happy to let you vent to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-72898520481111760742009-03-25T00:21:00.000-05:002009-03-25T00:21:00.000-05:00Sorry this happened to you. Sending happy, healin...Sorry this happened to you. Sending happy, healing thoughts your way!<BR/>xox<BR/><BR/>PS- asshole was a really elegant choice in this situation. Free your mind of guilt!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12047376.post-24021605738040675702009-03-25T00:03:00.000-05:002009-03-25T00:03:00.000-05:00I think you might be so mad because you are smarte...I think you might be so mad because you are smarter than letting yourself believe things that may not have been true, and maybe your kicking yourself in the ass for it, more than you are actually mourning over a lost relationship. You certainly aren't mad because he's not the one. Just be ok with making mistakes. What would you have been doing during that time if he hadn't been around? I think you had fun, you need to stop punishing yourself for not making a permanent relationship out of an annoying zit, and think of all the battery power you saved. :)<BR/>< /unsolicited advice ><BR/><BR/>-Stef from DSMBobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16291574031174507827noreply@blogger.com