Thursday, May 26, 2005

Inappropriate uses of the office refrigerator

Maybe my co-workers are spoiled because there aren't so very many of us, so we usually don't have to fight too hard for space in the kitchen fridge. I still think it's inappropriate to store the following in space meant to be shared by many, however:
  • A six-can case of pineapple juice
  • Five identical yogurt cups
  • Frozen meals and Hot Pockets you have not eaten in over six months*
  • Approximately 84 protein/nutrition bars (the contents of seven bulk-packaged boxes, none of which are marked "refrigeration required")**
  • A jar of olives
  • A whole cucumber***
* I've considered three possible explanations for this one: 1) Owner of said meals somehow forgot s/he ever brought the meals to work, and therefore doesn't want to eat them for fear that they're actually someone else's lunch. 2) Owner of said meals is the receptionist who was fired last year, and apparently didn't think to clean out the fridge after she cleaned out her desk. 3) Owner of said meals is worried s/he may one day be trapped in the office during a blizzard or hostage situation, and fears there will be nothing to eat but microwave popcorn and Splenda packets. Unlabeled mystery flavor Hot Pockets may become currency in this scenario, so apparently preparedness is key. (I'm guessing #2 is the most likely explanation, however.)

** I know exactly who these belong to, and what makes it even more ridiculous is that his house is two miles from the office, meaning he's never more than five minutes away from his own refrigerator, where it would be more appropriate to store such a surplus of protein bars. He also owns the place, however, so clearly he gets to make his own rules.

*** Not so much inappropriate as just plain weird. Seriously.

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