Moreover, however, I check my stats just because there is so damn much amusing stuff in there. Here are five examples--five things in my Sitemeter listings that have entertained me of late.
- The fact that someone recently visited my blog from a company called [some name I forget] Nationwide Ho Network. I had no idea there was a nationwide Ho Network... Do you suppose it's a union or benefits plan, or more like some sort of support group?
- The frequency with which I see search engine hits for phrases such as "stowaway gecko Jamaica" and "brought gecko home in suitcase." Apparently this happens far more often than I realized. Nice to know it's not just me.
- The number of people out there trying to remember the name of the sitcom where Evie the half-alien girl stopped time by touching her fingertips together. A tip for everyone searching for this: it was called Out of This World. Now, could someone please tell me if this show's made some sort of resurgence across the pond? Because a whole lot of you looking for this are in Great Britain, which makes it even more puzzling to me.
- The growing evidence that Google is, in fact the new Magic 8 Ball. It's almost sad, actually, thinking of all the lonely, broken-hearted people out there, turning to their computer for the answers no computer can provide. "First date he didn't call," they type. Or "What does it mean when he says he just wants to be friends?" Some type simple but agonizing questions, like, "Should I cut my hair?" I am not an authority on any of these matters, and I'm guessing Google is not either, but I am sort of fascinated by the idea of tossing life's most nagging questions out there to the Internet for comfort or solace.
- The number of regular readers I have in Ohio. I don't know anyone in Ohio, and yet, there you all are! I have actually been thinking that if I ever decide to add a tag line on my masthead, one of the front-runners for said tag line will surely be, "I'm big in Ohio." Anyway, here's a friendly shout-out to Ohio. Hello, whoever you all are!