Grand Old Day

Each summer, the Twin Cities offer several opportunities to convene outside with thousands of strangers, stuff yourself with overpriced junk food (much of which is deep fried and/or served on a stick), listen to some music, collect a few freebies, and wander up and down the same streets repeatedly until your sandaled feet are black with dust and your blisters and sunburn tell you it's time to go home.

The first such opportunity of each summer is Grand Old Day. On Grand Old Day, a 2.5 mile stretch of St. Paul's Grand Avenue closes to traffic and becomes lined with deep fryers, snack wagons, beverage stands, music stages, and card tables displaying jewelry, small toys, and other trinkets and souvenirs.

Grand Old Day and the State Fair essentially bookend the summer, in my mind. On Grand Old Day, I see thousands of pasty white skinned Twin Citians baring their legs in shorts and summer skirts for perhaps the first time since the previous summer. By State Fair season, most people have worked on their tan a bit, but at both events, I'm aware that long pants and winter sweaters are just a few weeks away--either behind or in front of us. Both Grand Old Day and the State Fair offer plentiful people-watching opportunities, though the State Fair, most would argue, provides much more interesting human scenery, as the event draws visitors from all regions of the state and all demographics of the population. A guy with a mullet might walk by a guy with a purple mohawk, and each will observe the other with a look that says, "Freak."

The most important similarity between the two events, however, is of course, the food. The State Fair, as the larger event, undoubtedly offers more choices... Food vendors fight to outdo each other by finding something to deep fry that no one's deep fried before. Recent entries in this category include the now famous deep fried Twinkies, Oreos, and Snickers bars. At the State Fair, main courses also get a bit more exotic--alligator, ostrich, buffalo... all on a stick, of course. Few foods remain that have yet to be placed on stick by fair food vendors. I have yet to see a placard advertising "SOUP on a Stick!" but I maintain that it is only a matter of time. (I am fully confident it could be done, using some type of bread bowl technology, but I suspect legal worries are perhaps keeping any developer from bringing it to market. That or they're simply smart enough to realize that soup is not likely to be a big seller on a 90-degree August day, no matter how novel the serving method.)

I didn't see a lot of new innovations in street fair food at today's Grand Old Day festivities, but perhaps that's because Grand Old Day (much like the city of St. Paul in general) tends to stick to the classics. Corn dogs. Foot-long hot dogs. Ice cream. Mini-donuts. Corn on the cob. Bratwurst. Pizza. Sno-Cones. And of course, cheese curds. Cheese curds (at least, the golden, deep fried kind) are apparently a regional phenomenon, as my friend Jamie--a native of Ohio--had no idea what we were talking about when she first saw one of us emote the words "Oooo... cheese curds" with a Homer Simpson-esque tone of joy and longing. I'm not sure if she's a convert yet, but we'll keep working on her.

I'm a classic girl, I guess, so the lack of deep fried alligator on Grand Avenue didn't bother me one bit. I had a list of priorities or intentions for my calorie intake today, and I happily filled all of them. Corn dog. Cheese curds. Grand Ole Creamery ice cream. Plus an unplanned Jamba Juice smoothie that was also quite tasty. I did contemplate trying the deep fried garlic mashed potatoes on a stick, but in the end, decided it was just too hot outside to bite into a mound of molten potato. There's always the State Fair, I reasoned. If the deep fried mashed potatoes are any good (and even if they're not), they're bound to make an appearance at the fair. Maybe right next to the "Salad on a Stick" stand. Now that I'd like to see.