Sunday, November 20, 2005

True colors

I cut the tag off my new sweater this morning and decided that the people whose job it is to name the various shades of paint and nail polish and, yes, sweaters sold at Kohl's, have in fact gone too far.

Don't get me wrong. I often appreciate the designers' and marketeers' creative efforts in describing a particular color. I think “I’m not really a waitress” is a clever description for a saucy shade of red, and I’ll admit that, when painting the exterior of my house, I chose “Blustery Day” over “Dusty Blue” mainly because it reminded me of Winnie the Pooh stories.

But I'm really not sure what to make of the hue assigned to my new green sweater. In the spot on the tag where the name is printed, it does not say "Green." It does not even say "Grass" or "Pesto" or "Shamrock" or "Fern." No, instead of any of those, it says "Jen's Pants."

I imagine the conversation in the marketing department that day went something like this...

"Hey, what you do you think we should call this one? I'm totally drawing a blank today."

"I don't know. What are you thinking this time... Plants? We could call that one 'Cactus' and the tan one over there 'Tumbleweed'... Or cities? Have we done cities lately? We could call it 'Dublin'...

"Hmmm. You know, it's kind of the same shade as those capris you're wearing."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"That's it. Jen's pants. We're totally going with that."

"Cool. I saw a jacket on the designer's rack that we could definitely name after your shoes."

I have to admit that I did actually laugh when I saw "Jen's Pants" printed on the tag, but I still can't help thinking it was a decision made just due to laziness. Then again, as I'm frequently aware of my own laziness, I'm really in no position to judge. At least they didn't go with influenza.

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