- Mail carrier. I think this would be an excellent job for many reasons. I would get to take a lovely walk alone with my thoughts every day. I would not have to go to the gym after work, because I would have excellently toned legs and arms simply from strolling along my route and lifting bins and packages. I would get all government holidays off. Wouldn't that be lovely? But then I remember that I live in Minnesota. Taking a long walk outside sounds appealing during only about five months of the year. The rest of the time, being outdoors for any length of time sort of makes me want to cry. I think that means I need to scratch this idea.
- Librarian. I love the idea of libraries and what they represent. I love going to the library. I love the library's online reservation system. Nancy Pearl is one of my heroes. I am a big fan of the library is what I'm saying. But I'm not what you might call a People Person. In fact, I sort of hate people a whole lot of the time* (hence, the "alone with my thoughts" bonus of career idea #1). I'm pretty sure talking to people is a rather sizable portion of a librarian's job. And not just any people. Stupid people. Shady people. Internet porn-viewing pervert people. In other words, the general public. (Gah!) Maybe the library has a nice office job for me instead. Hmm.
- Bookstore owner. Again with the books. Wouldn't it be cool to be with books all day long? But even if owning your own bookstore were still a feasible idea in the age of Borders and Barnes & Noble and Amazon, there's that whole "business" side of the business. Numbers and bookkeeping and all that. No thank you. I'd veto "yarn store owner" as an option for the same reason, of course.
- Lexicographer. Ooh! Or maybe instead of actually working on the dictionary, I could create those word games on the dictionary's web site instead! That could be fun, too! Um, not that I have any skills in this area or any idea how to create web-based word games... Hm. Tricky.
- Movie critic. See, now in theory this sounds like something I would enjoy. I like movies... I like writing... And then I remember that I haven't written a well-thought-out analysis of anything since my last literature paper of my college career. Maybe someone would just pay me to watch movies and say "Yep" or "No" on each. You think?
Um, yeah. Guess I'll stick with the tech writing and editing gig a bit longer. That's probably the best way to go.
* Not any of you people, of course. I'm sure I'd like all of you!