As if I'm not already the poster girl for laziness and mediocrity

I just Googled the word on my next-door neighbor's personalized license plate, which I [correctly] guessed was likely the name of the company he owns (or maybe "owned"; he told me last summer he was "retiring"--this from a man who I guessed was no more than a couple years older than I am). I knew he was some type of techno-geek; he told me he'd invented the technology for self-destructing DVDs. I didn't know if he'd found a buyer for said technology and therefore whether the idea had paid off in any significant monetary sense, though the fact that he was able to "retire" (even temporarily) at age 30-ish seemed to imply a financial security to which I certainly can't relate.

So I Googled him (or rather, his license plate), and found him listed as one of Entrepreneur.com's "10 under 30" for 2001. He was 25 at the time. Twenty-five years old, and included as one of ten people throughout the U.S. highlighted and lauded for their ambitious and successful entrepreneurial efforts. It was a list of 10 young millionaires across the country. Yes, millionaires. Yes, 25. That was four years ago, which means that not only is he likely very financially secure, as I suspected, but he's also not even yet 30. I assumed he was a couple years old than I; instead, I'm two years old than he.

As if I need to feel like more of a lazy scrub.

What happened to me? I used to have that ambitious, overachiever streak (or, I thought I did...). Maybe I peaked too early and used it all up before I even graduated from college. Don't most people with great grades and a full list of extracurricular activities and involvements take that same energy and use it towards something meaningful and worthwhile when it really matters, in their “real life” in the grown-up world? When did I lose the drive to achieve? Maybe I never had it, since the things that were driving me, apparently (GPA, Dean’s lists, parental approval, etc.), are not really very meaningful or important in the grand scheme of things.

Am I the lazy drifter I feel I am, or is my total mediocrity actually the norm? Maybe I'm just looking for excuses, but I suspect it is, at least to some degree, the latter. We watch "Will & Grace" and see Grace admitting that television is the most meaningful thing in her life, and we laugh because it's relatable (right? or am I laughing because it's relatable, and the rest of you are laughing because it's pathetic?). We can't all be millionaires; we can't all save the world. Still, perhaps I should make some attempt at seeking some sort of purpose or setting some type of goals. Yeah, I'll get right on that. In just a little while. "The Simpsons" is on now.