Correction

I forgot: Velvet Underground's "Stephanie Says" actually isn't the only song I've ever heard that features my name. I remember an episode of Full House (long, long ago) in which Danny Tanner somehow got then-teen-heartthrob Tommy Page to stop by on Stephanie's birthday and sing her a song. Later, he confessed to the rest of the family that he'd actually written the song for his girlfriend Melanie and just substituted "Stephanie" for "Melanie" throughout, but regardless, the version I heard on the show repeated the name "Stephanie" several times.

I don't know which is more disturbing--the fact that I actually remember an episode of Full House in such detail or the fact that I've had "Shoulder to Cry On" stuck in my head ever since I thought of it. (The latter is particularly odious considering I actually recall only about two lines from that song, so it's therefore just those two lines that keep repeating in my mind.)

I'm also not particularly thrilled that my search for Tommy Page on Amazon has now put New Kids on the Block's Greatest Hits in the sidebar as the featured item in "the page [I] made." But I'm not going to dwell on that.