[Note to the men out there in my regular reading audience (all four of you): You can probably skip this one. Go find something about football to read instead. This particular rant may be completely foreign to you.]
Why is it that, when clothes shopping, the simpler the item I'm looking for, the less likely I am to find it? How hard should it be to find a basic black A-line skirt? (Preferably one that hits just above the knee and has a low waist with a wide band, but hey--I'm willing to compromise on a few of the details just to find something close.) Pretty hard, apparently, in a year when it's all about the stupid gauchos. Seriously, who is buying those damn half-pants? They're everywhere, which makes me think somebody must be excited about them, but I'm really not seeing anybody wearing them. Maybe that's partly because they're an impractical choice for winter-wear in the Midwest, but I haven't been seeing a lot of Hollywood starlets filmed or photographed in them, either. Even celebrities apparently know better than to pick up this crazy trend. Now that's saying something.
This season has seen some strangely omnipresent trends, and I'll admit I've bought into some of them. I have the tiny jackets; I have the strappy camisoles to go under the jackets; yes, I even bought a half a sweater (a.k.a. a shrug) or two. I will not, however, buy something that is a normal pair of dress pants at the top and then decides to morph into some kicky little wide-legged capri thing below the knee. I won't do it.
Somebody must be doing it, though. Those damn half-pants are everywhere. Even Briggs, the women's clothing brand best known for highlighting the old lady side of business casual, has jumped on the gaucho bandwagon. Their version (spotted at Herberger's today) features an ever-stylish polyester blend and an elastic waistband, but yes, they do offer them. Personally, I think gaucho pants are bizarre enough on a young, hip woman with the figure of a stick insect; I cringe to envision them on a sexagenarian with thick ankles, white socks, and comfort sandals.
That was unfair and mean-spirited, I know. I'm just cranky because without a proper skirt, I have only two-thirds of the outfit I wanted to wear to my stupid company holiday party tonight, so I'll have to settle on something else in my closet instead. And I'm annoyed because each time I thought I found a black skirt on the rack of every store where I looked, I was faked out by the silly half-pants.
Next year, of course, A-line skirts will be everywhere. And clearance racks will, I hope, be jammed to capacity with stacks and stacks of deeply discounted gaucho pants. Or so I imagine.
Incidentally, I will admit that yes, I did own a pair of gaucho pants somewhere around 1984 (back when we referred to them as culottes). And I realize that my condemning the culottes on their latest go-around makes me sound old and unhip and out of touch with today's fashion. Women in their early 20s would probably scoff at my reticence about the gauchos in much the same way I did when women 10 years my senior refused to wear flare jeans (claiming they'd worn their share of bell-bottoms in the 70s and didn't want to go back). I don't care. Part of getting older, apparently, is the right to a feeling of righteous superiority over the young. I'll make a great cranky old lady some day; don't you think?
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2 comments:
Stef, you know what I'm going to suggest here, right? Right. eBay, of course! Type in "black A-line skirt" and you'll find 66 of them, all under $20, complete with measurements! I bought such a black shimmery A-line skirt last year, just in time for my ex-bf's boring work holiday party. (Glad I didn't have to suffer through *that* again this year.)
Jamie-
Need I tell you yet again that while a tiny stick figure like yourself can put on anything that fits reasonably well and instantly look great in it, the rest of us need to try things on to know if we like them? Besides that, eBay can't help me when I need a skirt within 24 hours. ;-)
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