Thursday, January 18, 2007

Quick question

Say you just bought a new canister of Hills Bros. French Vanilla flavored instant cappuccino drink mix, which you like to keep in your desk to fulfill your morning cravings for sweet, hot beverages at a fraction of the price of (and without the added drive to) Starbucks or Caribou or a less-well-known local brew shop.

Say that when you lifted the plastic lid off the canister, you saw that the edge of the foil safety seal was bent back, leaving about a quarter inch of open and easy access to the powdered mix inside.

Would you...

A. Toss the entire canister and settle for a cup of the green tea that the company president keeps stashed in the kitchen instead? (Note that while green tea is undoubtedly a much healthier choice than instant cappuccino, it is also wholly revolting.)

B. Set the canister aside, fully intending to dig up the receipt and take it back to Target to exchange for a new canister with safety seal intact?

or,

C. Figure, "Eh. I'm sure it's fine" and make your syrupy fake coffee beverage as planned?


Keep in mind when answering that, (1. I purchased this canister at a clean and quiet Target store in a virtually crime-free Midwest suburb, and not in a shady corner mini-mart in Queens, and (2. The foil was bent back firmly and evenly, as if stamped improperly by the machine that was supposed to seal it, not peeled back manually by some meddling miscreant.

If you don't hear from me again, you'll know I chose wrong.

And yes, by the way, I know that [even when properly sealed], this stuff can likely kill me (what with being chock full of preservatives and partially hydrogenated oils and so forth). I just hope it doesn't do so today.

25 comments:

lizgwiz said...

I'd have probably done the same. Please let us know if it kills you, so I won't make the same mistake at some point. Hee.

Unrelated, but for the record--I was NOT making fun of your city/state at RRW yesterday. Randy and Simon were being horribly mean--Randy actually said "Minne-hopeless"--and I just kept wondering why they weren't showing any cool people from Minneapolis. I know they exist--witness you and -r-! They did pretty much the same thing to Seattle last night. I may have to stop watching this season; they seem to be particularly mean-spirited, even for them.

L Sass said...

I totally would drink it. What's a little dust? More protein!

Anniina said...

I would go for option 4 and leave work immediately on an emergency, then drive to Target and throw a huge scene (since after all, I'd be caffeine-deprived). But I can be a drama-queen/bitch sometimes, so don't listen to me :P

The Other Girl said...

I'd take it back to Target. Tainted products are how people kill each other in clean, crime-free suburbs. The rest of the world relies on stabbing.

sognatrice said...

This has actually happened to me with International Coffee French Vanilla! I scraped off the top layer of powdered stuff and proceeded to brew the warm cup of preservative-laden heaven as usual. This was a few months ago, and I'm still here :)

steve said...

I would have dove right in, but The Other Girl makes a very valid point. I'd say you're safe as long as you avoid any stores that she shops at.

-R- said...

Yep, I think you're fine.

I prefer to keep those International Coffees in my desk (actually, in my filing cabinet). They have horribly dorky commercials, or at least they used to, but they taste way better than the Northern Lites drinks at Caribou (which are only 80 calories but taste DISGUSTING- why did I decide to try that?).

Noelle said...

I have some pretty shady friends who live in the twin cities. And my mom is from Queens, but she always drinks her coffee black, so there may be something to that.

If you get sick from the syrupy coffee you had at work, can you get worker's comp?

Stargazer said...

I have done that before. I suspect especially since it was folded back that way that you're all good. The disappointment of not having your coffee may have been worse for you than drinking it!

stefanie said...

Thought I'd better check in to let you all know that it's four hours later and I'm still alive (so far). Whoo. Other Girl makes a fine point as usual, but I'm glad the rest of you didn't seem to think it was too foolishly risky a move to give it a try.

And Liz--No worries. I knew it wasn't any personal dig from you to me. As for your question, of COURSE there are cool people in Minneapolis! They just all know better than to try out for American Idol. :-) Shame on Fox, though, for making my state look bad.

3carnations said...

I wouldn't consume it. I've returned things before for that reason. I'm super paranoid about that - I figure they put the safety thing on there for a reason. Return it. Don't throw it away; you shouldn't have to waste the money. If nothing else, call the company that makes it. They will probably send a coupon for a replacement.

nabbalicious said...

I'd stick in fork in it, sift through it for a minute or two, deem it safe and drink it while crossing my fingers.

Glad you're still alive as of 1:11!

Simone said...

Ideally, I'd return it...but as that's just too much work, I'd drink it and hope for the best.

Honestly though...I'd be more worried about simple sanitation issues as it goes through getting to your house than I'd be concerned about someone purposely contaminating it.

maliavale said...

Green tea and revolting are two things I never considered together, but I'll grant you it's a bit weird. Have you had white tea? There's this pear-flavored kind I love, and it basically smells like vanilla cake when you steep it. Mmm. Plus a hit of caffeine of course.

Poppy Cede said...

I would call the store and have them tell me what they want me to do. Sometimes the store just takes your word for it and you can just waltz in and get a new one without the receipt because they like to keep their customers happy.

No drinky.

Paisley said...

I would just throw it out. I am too lazy to go return it and too paranoid to drink it.

:)

Don't die. I'd miss you.

stefanie said...

OK, all you people trying to scare me, did you miss the part where I said I already drank it?? I knew I should have asked you all first, rather than afterwards. ;-) Or, you know, not. I am still alive, after all. Possibly too paranoid to drink the rest of the canister, but alive nonetheless.

As for individual notes...

Nabb--Gah! It didn't even occur to me to stick a fork in and look for anything alive! But you've had some trauma in your own home lately with the tiny rodents of whose names we shall not speak, so I'll chalk it up to that.

Malia--I know no one wants me to type this, but to me, green tea sort of tastes like vomit. I haven't had white tea, but I like the idea of drinking something that smells like cake! (It's not vomit-cake, right?)

Paisley--Aw, you're sweet. :-)

Jasclo said...

i'm not sure what i'd do! i guess it would depend on how badly i needed that drink. if i wanted it bad enough, i'd have used it anyway too!

metalia said...

I'm sure you're fine. :) I can't say I blame you; I definitely understand the need for morning caffeine.

Also--Malia, I adore that white pear tea! (If it is in fact the one you're talking about, I'm a bit freaked out by the hookah-smoking cat on the front, but the tea itself rocks.)

stefanie said...

OK, it smells like cake AND it features a hookah-smoking cat on the label?? Ladies, you must tell me what this tea is of which you speak.

3carnations said...

I actually DID miss the part where you said you already drank it. Glad you lived. Don't drink anymore. ;)

FUNKYBROWNCHICK said...

Keep drinking away little one, drink away! :) I'm sure it's FINE!

nabbalicious said...

I'll vouch for the goodness of white tea, too! It's delish. I can't stand the taste of green tea, either.

I also love the Chai and Honey & Lemon black teas Lipton has.

Darren McLikeshimself said...

I say drink it.

metalia said...

It's Celestial Seasonings Perfectly Pear White Tea. Upon closer inspection, the cat is actually doing calligraphy, and NOT, as I originally thought, smoking a hookah. Don't let that dissuade you, though; it's good nonetheless.