Sunday, January 07, 2007

Check out my mad skillz

I know I've been light on the stories and heavy on the lists and assorted what-not lately. Fear not. As of this afternoon, I am officially back on the online dating market, which means I'm sure I'll have plenty of pathetic tales about awkward social encounters and improperly punctuated e-mail messages soon enough. Meanwhile, I thought I would pretend for just a minute that I am a domestic type girl with the traditionally valued lady-like skills and that this blog is aimed at showcasing my handiwork.

Really I just need to show more than the four people who've seen it already the lovely afghan that I finally (finally, finally) finished... a mere four months after the wedding for which it is a gift. Check it out. I made this. Out of two sticks and a whole lot of yarn. Aren't you impressed? Oh, come on. Humor me. That sucker took ages to make. (You can click for larger, by the way. If I'm going to subject the Internet to my braggery, you might as well see the focus of my bragging in detail.)

And while I'm pretending to be Martha Stewart, I thought I would tell you all that I used my oven tonight. No, really! And not even for a Freschetta pizza or the frozen egg rolls and cream cheese puffs of which I am recently so fond. No, I made what I'd quite possibly consider a real and proper meal, using fresh, antibiotic-free chicken and something actually resembling a full-fledged recipe. OK, so the mashed potatoes are from a box and the photo looks like some weird steaming turd next to a blob of white, but I assure you, my pesto chicken roll was quite tasty.

The recipe, by the way, came from Metalia, who read Resolution #2 in my New Year's post and decided to try to help out my laughable, non-cooking self by sending me a few quick and easy meal ideas. I've said it before and I'll say it again: sweet Lord I love the Internet. Where else would I find strangers willing to provide landscape designs for my yard, pimp for dates for me, send me cool music, and make sure I'm eating properly? My, but you people are helpful and awesome. You are the proverbial bomb.


Angel Feathers Tickle Me said...

These eyes they grieve in pity for my heart. I have known the suffering of every tear utterly undone they fall. Will they remember the words I spoke? My gentle heart goes willingly with her, but I must remain here. Weeping, I then will speak of her again, and again, who to her heaven came so suddenly, leaving Love grieving here on earth with me...

To the high heaven she has gone, up to the realm where Angels dwell in peace, she lives with them now. To this world she bade farewell. Tis no degree of cold on her has won, nor of such heat as makes all others cease: it only was her goodness, great appeal. So did her shining humbleness excel, it passed the heavens with such wondrous worth, it moved to marvel the eternal Sire, so that a sweet desire pricked Him to call such worthiness from earth, and made her to himself go from down here: for when He saw this life of suffering had not been made for such a gentle thing...

Her gentle spirit, full of gentle grace, at last departed from her beauteous frame, and chose in glory its most worthy home. He who weeps not, {Mark David Breakiron} when talking of her trace, harbors a heart of wickedness and shame, to which no kindly spirits ever shall come.

No mind, if heart is wicked, may so roam as to imagine in the least her lot: therefore no grief or weeping will transpire. But sadness and desire of tears and sighs and death, and every thought that fails to comfort for a loss of immense, conquer those souls that even once recall the thing she was, now taken from us all...

Ahhhhhhhhh so much anguish nearly halts my breath when the least thought to this comes in my grievous mind brings back the one who split my heart in me; and oftentimes, when thinking of her death the color from my face fades utterly. And when the imagining is sharp in me, from everywhere I'm struck by such dismay that at the ache I feel right then I start to cry, and so distraught it grows. Fore it is then that I am alone in every crowd.

I wander in my tears....

For a face that looks like mine.

Angel Feathers Tickle Me

Anonymous said...

What the hell is going on with that above comment??? Now I am all distracted.

That afghan is amazing! I have been working on the same baby blanket for 3 months, and I am about 1/8 done. Aargh.

Great job cooking! I am unsure of potatoes that come from a box, but I ate frozen eggrolls tonight, so I have no right to judge.

Speaking of frozen Chinese food, have you really found good frozen cheese puffs? What brand? I love those things!

maliavale said...

"Mas skillz" and "the bomb"? Have we lost you already?

Seriously ... that afghan is freaking gorgeous!

stefanie said...

R--I have no idea. I was going to reply with an "Um... O-K..." myself.

Do not fear the Betty Crocker boxed mashed potatoes. I assure you, they are genuinely tasty. As for the cheese puffs, I usually buy this brand called "Asian Style Sensations." They're in a burgundy box in the freezer case. Clearly I'm no gourmet, so maybe I'm just not all that picky, but they taste pretty good to me.

Malia--I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me there. Won't happen again. (Or, won't happen often, anyway. I can't make any sweeping and absolute promises.) And thanks! I'm actually sort of proud of how it turned out, even though it's my low-key Midwestern nature not to brag. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Nice! I'll volunteer for the pimp job if it's not already taken.

Anonymous said...

I can wholeheartedly concur on the "cool music" link - I took advantage of maliavale's generosity too. Sadly, my girlfriend snapped up the CD the day I got it, and I haven't seen it since. If it sucked, I would have gotten it back immediately.

The Other Girl said...

How come people never come to my blog in tears looking for their own faces? Perhaps she heard that insanely white potatoes are being served here.

That afghan is beautiful. I love the leaf pattern.

Darren McLikeshimself said...

Two words: Cooking Light. I'm telling you, Stefanie, it's a life saver.

Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say that anything they publish is "quick" but a lot of it is easy. Ish.

3carnations said...

Very cute afghan!

1st comment...Um, OK...Thought it was some sort of code. Apparently it's just the strangest spam comment ever.

The meal looked delicious, but "antibiotic-free chicken"? If the chicken didn't take antibiotics, does that mean it was infected? :p

Anonymous said...

OMG that is GORGEOUS!!!

I made a crochet blanket once and it was all uneven and I just did straight lines! I love it anyways.


I am beyond impressed.

lizgwiz said...

That afghan is lovely! You created it with 2 sticks, you say? Can I just break a couple off a tree in my yard? Hee.

And I will second your props for the Betty Crocker instant mashed potatoes--they're not bad at all.

Jamie said...

Stef, as all the others mentioned, the throw is gorgeous! I had no idea you'd chosen such a detailed pattern. Congrats for sticking with it, even if it was a little late... Your mad skillz rock!

stefanie said...

R--After I replied to your comment last night, I remembered something else I should have mentioned, which is that those cream cheese things are generally on the top shelf of the case, in my experience, so make sure you bring H along when you go look for them. ;-)

Red--I got no replies from KrushingKrisis's post trying to find me a man, so if you want to take over, have at it.

Steve--It indeed does not suck. Of course, I've listened to only half of it because I'm too techno-stupid to figure out how to play the files that aren't MP3s (I'm guessing I need to convert them or something?), but the half that I heard were all excellent.

Other Girl--You are jealous of my comment spam and my blindingly white potatoes. Awesome.

Darren--You haven't really sold me there, what with the "not quick" and only easy"ish." You are the third person to recommend Cooking Light, though, so perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss.

3Cs--I hope it wasn't infected! I've just heard that it's best to avoid meats injected with any extra and unnecessary stuff. Seems reasonable to me.

Paisley--Aw, thanks. :-)

Liz--You may need to whittle the tree branches down a bit to create a smooth surface, but sure, then they'd probably work just fine. :-) Of course, if you make your own knitting needles out of sticks from your backyard, that'll make you WAY more Martha Stewart-like than me!!

Jamie--Thanks! I thought you'd seen it while I was working on it, but it does look different seeing the overall finished piece.

Poppy Cede said...

Beautiful job on the wedding gift!

Anonymous said...

First of all, the blanket is GORGEOUS. I am in awe.

Second, I'm so glad you tried the recipe and liked it!! Not hard, right? The fact that you used antibiotic free chicken is impressive; I make it with (presumably) drugged out chicken myself...and its angel feathers tickle me.

(Sorry, I just loved your first comment far too much to let it go without, comment.)

Anonymous said...

That blanket is STUNNING. Did you use a pattern? If so, where did you find it?

kimbroglio said...

Hi Stephanie. I've been reading your blog regularly for several months, and I just had to come out of the shadows to tell you how much I admire your beautiful throw. My god, you're like the Yarn Whisperer. In fact, I think your handiwork may be just the motivation I need to sign up for a knitting class so I can stop inflicting my loved ones with poorly crocheted scarves.

On their behalf, I thank you.

nabbalicious said...

I love that blanket!

And seriously, if a goofball like me can use Cooking Light, you certainly can!

stefanie said...


Metalia--Yes! You were right; it was so easy that it barely counts as a recipe. (I'm still totally counting it, though, you know.) Thanks! And nice incorporation of my most bizarre spam comment ever.

Mplsmel--Hi and welcome! I am entirely amused (but of course flattered) that you implied there is even a remote possibility I could create something like that without a pattern. Ha! Thanks, but, um, no. ;-) It's a pattern in a book called "Big Needle Knit Afghans." I thought it would be a great book because just about every pattern uses two or more strands of yarn, and most are chunky knit on big needles. Of course, I picked a pattern that used just two strands of worsted and only size nine (I think) needles. So it still took forever. Oh well. And I just checked out your blog and I see you've taken a class at Crafty Planet! That's right in my 'hood. I've been there many a time. Good people there, I say.

Kimbroglio--Well, happy de-lurk day to you! Your first comment ever totally cracked me up. Thank you for calling me the Yarn Whisperer. :-) And good luck with the knitting class!

Nabb--Yes, but you have an in-house Sensei, while I am flying solo. (I will use that as an excuse, anyway. I don't care if it's a logical one or not.) And by the way, I totally just looked up Karate Kid quotes on IMDB to find out how to spell "Sensei." I figured it would be the quickest place to find that word. (I don't know why I felt the need to share that...)

guinness girl said...

OMG! I am so not worthy! Your knitting skills are incredible, and that blanket is freakin' gorgeous. I bow down to you. And - go you with the cooking!

stefanie said...

Wow; thanks, GG. But please don't call yourself unworthy. I may be beyond you in knitting, but you kick my ass in haiku-ing any day. We all have our own special talents. ;-)