Wednesday, August 27, 2008

In which I'm full of absurdity and uncharacteristic optimism (it must be the long weekend ahead)

My friend Amy sent me one of those "Amy wants to be your friend on Facebook" messages today. Apparently she wanted to notify me that hell had in fact frozen over, since a friend of hers who touches a computer only when necessary had just signed up, and she thought maybe it was finally time for me to join the party as well. (You know, since in her words, "Satan's home is getting chilly.")

"It's weird seeing all our friends on there except you," she wrote. "You're usually such a joiner!"

First off, a joiner? Me? I am averse to and terrified of attending any event that might add my name to a membership list. Remember when 3Carnations suggested the Jaycees might be a good place for me to find a man? Yeah. Still haven't even looked up meeting times. Joiners worry me. I got joining out of my system in college, thank you.

I'm pretty sure what she meant, though, is that I'm social and such. You know, with friends. Not with strangers. I usually need liquor to talk to strangers. In fact, since I don't know most of you, I'm actually drunk right now. (Kidding.) Anyway, if we look at it that way, she's right. I do hate to be left out. And it's true: it is a little weird that purportedly ALL of my friends are someplace that I, for whatever reason, am not.

Lord help me, friends, I may finally cave.

Tell me again... Why is it I've resisted Facebook for so long? And how exactly will my life be enriched if I join?

Speaking of joining, I did actually lose myself in optimism and probable foolishness long enough to type my credit card number into the aforementioned dating site last night. And miracle of miracles, when I perused the "Interested in you" profiles that they wouldn't let me see as a non-paying member, I actually found THREE that didn't make my skin crawl! Moreover, when I clicked the button to indicate I am interested in Mr. Arty-Looking IT Guy, he clicked the button to say he's interested back! Within 24 hours, even! He is real and is online; he didn't just fill out a profile months ago and then decide not to pony up the cash to participate! Whew. Mind you, I am not picking out china patterns (do people still pick out china patterns?), but it is refreshing not to play the waiting game with presumably imaginary future boyfriend candidates, wishing that the particularly unhelpful wizard behind the curtain who runs the site would just tell me, "Um, dude over there hasn't visited in months. Your clicks are futile here."

If you have never treaded into the waters of this nonsense, I realize that last little bit probably won't mean anything to you, but if you HAVE sent messages or winks into the ether, never knowing if they were even received, can I get a "Word" on this?

In completely unrelated news, it is raining. Hard. For the third time in less than 24 hours. And to everyone in the Twin Cities whose lawn was as parched as mine, who was waiting for tumbleweeds to roll through the streets in our dry, late summer dustbowl of a town? You're welcome. I made it rain, you see. Yep. Because I finally gave in and watered my lawn last night, for the first time since mid-July (which is, coincidentally, probably the last time it rained as well). If I can control the weather, surely several other powers must be within my reach as well. Stopping time so I can sleep in every day? That's just around the corner. Picking the right line at the grocery store and Target? Soon I'll have that one down as well. And frankly, with all this power and talent, a relationship can't be far behind.

Say it with me: Year of Stef! It's not too late, I say.


3carnations said...


Back when I ventured into online dating, apparently in the dark ages (or late 90s), I only used y ahoo personals and there were no winks. Only weirdos. Mostly. Except that one guy...he was just "nice".

Re: Jaycees...As I recall, as our comments and emails progressed on it, I think I/we/you talked ourselves out of it. Or at least don't get TOO involved if you join. You could burn out in about 9 months like I did. :)

The Dutchess of Kickball said...


Megan said...

Facebook is not as great as people say it is. However, once everyone else is on it, it's hard NOT to be. Sort of like e-mail.

Jess said...

The beautiful thing about meeting Torsten online was that there were no games. He posted an ad, I responded, he responded, we emailed for a week, we met, we got together. Simple as that. The games are so frustrating.

Anonymous said...

oh, and

-R- said...

I see the fun in joining Facebook initially because I could spend a day looking up weirdos I used to know to see what happened to them. But after that first day, then what???

lizgwiz said...

Wordy W. McWord.

As you know, I joined facebook recently. It has not changed my life. I did have to have a little chat with my BFF about the pictures he was posting of me. No, I was not in any sort of compromising position (unless you consider being asleep underneath a cat compromising), but they were HORRIFICALLY unflattering.

Sauntering Soul said...

I am still trying to stay strong and not join Facebook. I spend enough time reading blogs. If I joined Facebook I might not ever leave my house.

Courtney said...

Year of Stef! Year of Stef!

You can make it rain? That is impressive. You should put that on your dating profile.

Craig said...

I joined facebook and still have a profile there. I check it maybe once a week and am on for 2 minutes before realizing that I just don't care anymore. It loses all excitement after a month or so. However, since many of the billion apps in Facebook also have a ways to "meet new exciting people in your area", perhaps you could join and combine the online dating with facebook. I added an application that had to do with television (unaware that it was run by or with funding from some dating company) and before I knew what was going on I was getting messages saying "Blah Blah has smiled at you." "Blah Blah has winked at you. Join so you can wink back." My big regret is that I didn't join so I could respond to the person who sent me a message that said "We have the same taste in TV. We should totally make out." and tell her (a) I don't know you, so even if you're trying to be funny, that's still pretty creepy. and/or (b) I can't. My wife won't let me.

Alice said...

how sad is it that your mockage of online dating is making me MISS ONLINE DATING? this is not normal.

Mair said...

Instead of assessing the pros and cons, which will all sound abstract anyway until you join, you might as well just join, check it out, see if you like it (and how it works), and then decide. You can just cancel or never go back if you don't.

Looking forward to your friend request soon...

Pants said...

I brought disgusting amounts of snow to Utah when I moved last year...imagine what we could do if you and were to say, consume alcohol together? THE WORLD WOULD BE OURS!

I hate the non-winkers. And like Alice, this post is making me miss internet dating. But I only have time for school and one other fun thing right now...and now that I think about it, dating is not really fun. Especially when I do things like my insane Date Fest 2008 where I went on coffee dates with 75% of the single men in this dreadful state.

Stefanie said...

3Cs--You know, I could actually do without winks. Would I would like is some proof that the men they're sending me are actually members and might actually contact or reply to me.

Dutchess--Thanks. :-)

Megan--I think that's my friends' argument. And yet, here I've been, not on it, and as far as I know, no one's wanted to contact me and been unable to...

Jess--I think that's how it's supposed to work when it's right. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll have a story like that SOMEDAY.

Pam--And WORD! ;-)

R--My point exactly. (Well, I have a few other points, too, but I don't feel like elaborating on them in a comment back to a comment.)

Liz--Yikes. Maybe I don't even want to see what photos of me are on my friends' pages!

Sauntering Soul--That's sort of my fear, too. It's also the reason I refuse to Twitter.

Courtney--It IS impressive, isn't it? Between that and the car fixing skills, I am a CATCH!

Craig--That's funny. "Same taste in TV" is totally my top priority in choosing makeout partners. (KIDDING.)

Alice--Very sad, actually. Not normal indeed. (Are you more of a masochist than I am? Scary.) ;-)

Mair--You make a good point. It's not a permanent decision, right? Nabbalicious just told me she's deleted her account five times. Glad I'm not the only one on the fence about it.

Pants--The Insane Date Fest is rarely a good idea. I've tried that. It didn't work for me either, sadly. Drinking together would be a fine plan, though! Too bad I'm not going to Utah any time soon.

Aaron said...

Honestly, you're not missing anything on Facebook. I played Scrabulous the first few months. Now I hardly ever log on.

Also, can you use these newly discovered magical powers of yours to cause it to rain on the RNC?

flurrious said...

I'm afraid that if you cave and join Facebook, it will only be a matter of time before you're on Twitter. And then you'll move on to Plonk or Plop or whatever the hell that site that's supposed to better than Twitter is called. You'll be spending every minute online. Who will make it rain then, Stefanie? Who will make it rain?

nancypearlwannabe said...

You did it! Welcome to the dark side.

kwr221 said...

For you Facebook nay-sayers - Scrabble IS the point. :-) ANd word twist, and pathwords, oh and looking upold boyfriends and such. You can forget about the stupid poking though.

Danielle said...

I found your blog by way of putting in "how to enjoy being single" in Google. Your blog is fantastic and I immediately put it on my Google reader. I am newly single after six years and am getting used to being by myself in such a long time. Spinsters unite!