Monday, April 20, 2009

Bullet points of randomness, sans any bullets

I realized earlier this evening that in the course of one day, I have heard new music on the radio from Depeche Mode, The Cure, and Morrissey. For a moment this realization made me want to paint my nails black, don a pair of black and white horizontally striped tights, and contemplate my intellectual superiority to all of the girls on my high school's prom court. But then it occurred to me that the respectable and irony-free return of the music that shaped my formative years was made possible maybe not just because the talent and appeal of these aging gentlemen miraculously stands the test of time and cross-generational tastes, but because we are currently living through an extremely strange and uncomfortable (for me) period during which anything and everything from the 80s is welcomed back with open arms and no questions asked. Yes, I have new music from Morrissey, but the tradeoff for this gift is the return of leggings and bubble tops. It's a mixed blessing, obviously.

I remain wary of how far the phenomenon will stretch. If there truly is no limit to the resurgence of all things 80s, has anyone notified Weird Al or the creators of Punky Brewster yet? Let's hope not.

This was going to be a post of bulleted randomness, by the way, as I have several thoughts on my mind but none of them are noteworthy or important enough to expand into a full post on their own. I have noticed that my bullet points often become full paragraphs, however, which renders the bullet essentially useless. How do you feel about full paragraphs of transition-free randomness? Are you OK with that? Good. Moving on.

For tonight's post, by the way, we can all thank Stephenie Meyer. Not because she has anything directly to do with it (or because her unparalleled success with crappy writing is an inspiration to me), but because the annual Minneapolis-St. Paul International Film Festival is currently in full swing, and I had planned to be at a showing of How to Be this evening, rather than at home typing a blog post. Amazingly, however, although Rotten Tomatoes knows almost nothing about this film at this point, tonight's screening of it at the festival was completely sold out at least a day in advance. What does this have to do with Stephenie Meyer? Not a lot, except that I suspect at least a portion of the surprising popularity of this particular festival entry might be related to the fact that it stars Robert Pattinson, and I may have underestimated the Twin Cities' involvement in Edward Cullen Mania when I neglected to buy my ticket in advance. My bad.

Speaking of strange mistakes (that was my half-hearted attempt at a logical transition for at least ONE new paragraph in this post), my phone rang twice in quick succession on Saturday, both from the same unknown number. Surprisingly it was not a sales call or a charity or a political organization, however, all of whom were the reason I let both calls go to voicemail instead of answering. No, the message the caller left on my voicemail went something like this: "Hi, if this is Colleen, I'm calling numbers out of the phone book at random. This is Al [LastName]. Could you give me a call at home, at 612-###-####?"

I almost wanted to call Al back and introduce him to the wonder and usefulness that is the Internet, because I can only assume that searching for Colleen on the Internet has got to be at least as successful as dialing numbers AT RANDOM from the phone book. Also, who still uses a phone book? People who don't know how to spell "Colleen," apparently, because if I were, in fact, using a phone book to locate someone by that name, I would probably skip right over all listings where the first name is the initial "S." Then again, how many people are even still in the phone book these days? Those of us with land lines are a shrinking minority. Maybe the logic is that we all must know each other. Come to think of it, I believe there was a Colleen at last month's meeting of Luddites Anonymous. I'll have to keep an eye out for her next time so I can pass along the message.

And finally, one more random thought. I have realized recently that I seem to be incapable of slicing open an avocado without smiling and proclaiming out loud (What? I live alone, remember?) how very much I love avocados and how I might even actually marry one now that Iowa's acceptance of gay marriage has paved the way for us to marry our pets and inanimate objects and anything else we might decide we cherish and covet in a potentially inappropriate way. I may have to move someplace where polygamy is legal, of course, as we all know I'm already betrothed to my blue yoga pants, but I like to dream big, people. I know this can happen in our lifetime.

ANYWAY. Back to avocados. Obviously I am a big fan. Love their work. Yay for avocados is what I'm saying. But it occurred to me tonight as I was slicing one into a salad that my love for the avocado is relatively new. I don't remember when I first had avocado in its whole (not guacamole) form, but I'm certain it was post-high school. Likely even post-college. Did I even know avocados existed when I was a child or teenager? Does the rest of the tiny town where I was raised know about avocados yet? I didn't have a bagel until college either, though admittedly that was because my mother simply never bought them, not because my town didn't know they existed. I have always been a late bloomer; what else is still fully off my radar? This whole avocado thing is making me wonder what other foods I love but don't even know exist yet. And don't say wasabi peas or Hapi mixed rice crackers, because I am already in full addiction mode with both of those at the moment. And don't say "pan-seared skate wing," because we already know how that worked out for me.

Yes, these are the big questions that I ponder during the mundane moments of daily life. Isn't there anything of little import that you're thinking about today?


Bob said...

My own love of avocados began a mere four years ago, in the quiet lovely burg of Hudson, Wisconsin. And I'm not only now a voracious fan, I also live in Iowa, where crazy republicans think they can marry bills they sponsor, because the Iowa supreme court said some silly human-being-marginalizing law wasn't really all that constitutional, according to the Iowa Constitution. Also, I'm pretty sure that some people think you HAVE to marry a gay person now. I'll go with an avocado. It's got to work out better than my first marriage.

-R- said...

Four refrigerators, but no avocados or bagels? I bet the fridges were filled with Leinenkugel and cheese curds, weren't they?

Al calling random numbers out of the phone books sounds more than a little bit creepy.

3carnations said...

Marrying an avocado might not be the best idea. Then we'd see you in the news for eating your spouse. Yuck.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I had definitely had avocados before college, but Chris and I were just discussing last night how we had never had Indian food until college. Such a travesty! I guess NH and upstate NY are not down with the curry.

NGS said...

I'm with you on the avocado and bagel thing!! I just, like in the last two months, had avocado on a turkey sandwich and fell in love. I didn't really KNOW you could eat avocado in non-guacamole form. And, sadly, I am 29.

And bagels. I never ate a bagel until college (or cream cheese!) when I began consuming them daily for breakfast. Sometimes I feel like it might have been for the best had I never discovered these delicacies, but, hey, what is college for if not for eating bagels and cheese in a can regularly?

lizgwiz said...

I came to the avocado love late, as well. I'd only ever had them in the form of the pre-made guacamole in the plastic tubs, and that stuff is horrible. (Seriously, it should be outlawed. The stuff in the squeeze packs, though? Very nice.) For years I thought I didn't like guacamoles OR avocados, but I was wrong. So wrong.

I had a similar experience with asparagus. My grandmother used to make a hideous casserole that involved canned asparagus (speaking of things that should be outlawed) and it wasn't until years later that I discovered how beautiful a thing is fresh, steamed asparagus.

Am I okay with "full paragraphs of transition-free randomness?" Have you read MY blog? Hee.

Miss Pants said...

There isn't much I wouldn't do for the love of an avocado.

Alice said...

i don't know when i *started* loving avocados, but i used to eat them for lunch when i was super poor and lived in france during college. i'd split one, take out the pit, and fill the hollow with italian dressing. YUM. :-)

courtney said...

I hear How To Be is a good movie, and that Pattinson is actually decent in it. I put it on my Netflix list so I can give him another shot. I know Kristen Stewart can do better than she did in Twilight (see: Into the Wild, Adventureland), so perhaps we'll soon be able to chalk up Pattinson's bad acting to the shitty Twilight script and its awkward dialogue.

Oh, and I don't think I've opened a phone book in years. Methinks this Al is a prank caller. You know what would be good blog fodder? Calling him back. (hint, hint.)

Lara said...

How could you hope that the creators of Punky Brewster were not notified of the resurgence of all things 80's??? STEFANIE. I just audibly sighed over this rift in our friendship.

Sauntering Soul said...

I have yet to fall in love with avocados (or guacamole). Since I'm already 40, I'm guessing it's never going to happen for me.

I was a late bloomer for squash and zucchini though.

flurrious said...

I was almost 35 before I ate risotto for the first time. I'd resisted it for years because putting butter in rice seemed really really wrong to me. Then on a whim I ordered a seafood risotto at a restaurant and could barely restrain myself from taking my bowl around to all of the other customers and saying, "YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS!"

Speaking of food, SkyMall thinks that in addition to the Dough-nu-matic, I might also like a Soft Serve Ice Cream Maker and a Pop-Up Hot Dog Cooker. Therefore, I would like to move to Iowa and marry SkyMall.

Stefanie said...

Bob--I'm glad people understood that Iowa bit was a joke. Also, speaking of Hudson, are you in the area now?

R--Cheese curds, yes, but my dad's more of a Miller or PBR guy than Leinie's.

3Cs--That is a risk, I suppose. On the up side, if I'm afraid of commitment, an avocado as a spouse might be an excellent plan.

NPW--I still haven't developed an appreciation for Indian food. I think I need a mentor on that one. Maybe I'm just ordering the wrong things.

NGS--Oh, avocado on turkey sandwiches is awesome! Add a little bacon and tomato and I'd be hard pressed to come up with a better sandwich.

Liz--For years (as a kid) I didn't think I liked pizza (PIZZA!) because the only pizza I'd had was a crappy cardboard-like store brand that my dad habitually burned. Then I went to a pizza party with my Girl Scout troop and learned that my dad's pizza was not pizza at all! Miracles.

Pants--Word. I love that your "About me" box on your Facebook page simply says "I love avocados." I have thought about stealing that myself. ;-)

Alice--I have never had them with Italian dressing like that, but I like to split them open, sprinkle the halves with sea salt and pepper (and maybe a little lemon juice, if I'm feeling fancier) and eat them right out of the shell with a spoon. Mmmm.

Courtney--I don't think it was a prank call. Al sounded at least 50. Then again, I have no idea what people do for kicks in their retirement...

Lara--I promise you, I loved Punky Brewster as a kid. LOVED. But have you seen clips of it lately? That's one of those shows that does not hold up well to adult standards of acting and writing. Trust me on this.

SS--Oooh! Squash! That's another thing I didn't know was delicious until recently. I couldn't care less about zucchini, though.

Flurrious--I heart you. That is all.

Jess said...

The thing that I don't get about this 80s comeback is that the 80s were still so RECENT. Like, 60s hippie stuff coming back? Maybe. But can't we still all REMEMBER how awful all that 80s stuff was the FIRST time around?

Mickey said...

My own avocado appreciation is just now ramping up. For the first time, I have bought an avocado in two successive trips to the grocery store. I believe I'll keep the streak going.

The Cure is amazing.

LiLu said...

Not only do I adore avocados, I LOVE the way you cut them- slap the knife into the pit, pull it out, and carve the little cubes with a tic tac toe pattern. For some reason, I get a kick out of it every time.

Lara said...

What, no new posts in a week? Hrmph. Now that I'm back into blog-reading again, this is tragic to me.