Thursday, April 02, 2009

This and That

I think perhaps I've finally stepped out of the abyss I've been in recently. Whoo hoo to that; another funk passed (I hope). I haven't spontaneously broken into tears in well over a week now, which is solid progress given that for a while there, it seemed crying was becoming a new hobby for me. In fact, I don't think I cried at all last week, either, except when I heard Bob Mould's new song, I'm Sorry, Baby, But You Can't Stand in My Light Anymore. Those tears were totally justified, though. Have you heard that one yet? You can listen to it here. If you've ever likened yourself to a bit of a Wendy Darling, an unfortunate magnet for lost boys, I guarantee you too will feel a swift punch to your stomach when he gets to the line "I always find the broken ones. What does this say about me?" Maybe I'm the broken one indeed. Ouch. (Sidenote: You're not going to click that link, are you? Fine, but you totally should.)

On to things that do not make me cry (or rather, that do draw tears, but only tears of laughter)... This someecard is the funniest thing I have seen all week. Mind you, it is disturbing, but if you're the easily offended type you probably wouldn't be here, given all the shit ass motherfucker type language I've been tossing around lately. (If you are offended by that, I apologize. I'll try to reel it back in to the usual only occasional well placed "For fuck sake" again henceforth.)

In other news, remember that unfortunate incident a few weeks ago where Mr. I Make My Own Traffic Rules turned across my line of traffic and ended up with a sizable dent in his fancy silver Mustang? Our insurance company finally decided where to place blame, and the larger portion of it landed on his policy. Whew. He had a "witness" who claimed I ran a red light, but apparently when both drivers say the light was yellow, a supposed witness's word carries less weight. Nice try, lady. Perhaps you could just stay in your car and mind your own business next time.

Because it was only marginally my fault, I have to pay only $60 rather than my usual deductible, which is well worth it if you ask me. Perhaps it seems silly to replace the bumper on an eleven-year-old car, but on the off chance I actually attempt to sell or trade it in someday rather than driving it into the ground, I'll be much better off without the remains of at least three mishaps marring it. Still, because I am a Midwesterner, grounded in "Oh no, no; I don't want to be a bother" sensibilities (and because my latent Catholic guilt resurfaces whenever I feel I might be doing something the slightest bit shady), I was more than a bit paranoid when the insurance company's damage inspector came to verify the worthiness of my claim. I thought for sure he'd take one look and say, "Are you kidding me, lady? Your car is older than my third-grader, and that scrape over there was clearly the result of you misjudging the distance between your car and a giant retaining stone. We are NOT paying for this." In truth, there is a giant scrape where I misjudged the distance between my car and a retaining stone in the Crapplebee's parking lot, but is it my fault that fixing the damage that was part of this accident will conveniently fix that, too? Answer: it is not. It is a nifty bonus, though.

Let's see. I had other things I was going to tell you, but they seem now even less important than the last four paragraphs of things that were not particularly important. For instance, do you really want to hear about how I found a form on the Wendy's web site today that lets you invite a friend to meet you for a Frosty or a Garden Sensations salad? No, I'm guessing that won't be nearly as amusing to you as it was to me. Incidentally, Lara did not meet me at the designated Wendy's franchise after I sent her that message. What--ten minutes isn't enough notice for a Philadelphia girl to get to the St. Paul suburbs for lunch?

Likewise, you probably aren't particularly interested to know that I am sucking it up woefully in my recent Facebook Scrabble games, with the exception of the game Beej invited me and Aaron to join him in, wherein I used all my tiles and scored 70 points on my very first turn. Damn shame those boys have attention deficit disorder where Facebook Scrabble is concerned. One of my finest Scrabble moments may well be overshadowed by the shallow disappointment of an abandoned game.

But I said I wasn't going to tell you either of those mundane stories. Eh. I say a lot of things. Surely that's no surprise by now. Carry on.


steve said...

It must be my tendency to check in really no earlier than 10pm Pacific which lands me in the leadoff commenter spot. Probably makes me look like an obsessive stalker.

Latent Catholic guilt; I know that feeling. Good that you fought the guilt to get the 'ol Saturn fixed up, though - you need to enjoy your A/C a lot more before it runs into the ground.

shelleycoughlin said...

Hee! I love your random posts. But how is that accident in any way your fault? You were obeying traffic laws!

SM said...

Ugh. It astounds me that you would shed one goddamn tear for that insufferable douche.

Shelly said...

That ecard is hilarious. And gross. And unauthorized use of a peep.

And it is awesome that fixing your car from your wreck will also fix the scrape on your bumper. There is no need to feel shady about that (although I probably would, too).

-R- said...

If the bumper needs to be fixed, it needs to be fixed. The fact that it already had damage is irrelevant. When I got rear-ended a number of years ago and had to replace the bumper, I finally got to get rid of the yellow paint scrape from when I accidentally backed into a pole. I was so happy about getting rid of the reminder of my stupid backing-up skills for free!

I have not had a Frostee for a long, long time. Maybe I will send an invite to myself and have a little treat tomorrow.

I am shocking myself by not being horrible at Facebook Scrabble.

-R- said...

Also: Peeps? EW.

Jess said...

Replacing the bumper is CRUCIAL. Otherwise the next time there's a mishap it will hurt the CAR, not the bumper.

Stefanie said...

Steve--Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but... Kidding. You don't even comment on *every* post. That's hardly stalkerish, I think.

NPW--Well, Minnesota is a no-fault state, so I think unless you're rear-ended, you share some blame simply for having been on the road driving a vehicle. As long as my deductible is cut that much and the accident isn't attributed to me and therefore going to raise my premium, I won't complain.

Michael--(I assume that's Michael, right?) I didn't say I was crying only about him. A funk usually involves a combination of things, you know.

Shelly--I am glad I'm not the only one who found that funny. Seriously, hours later, driving home, I thought of the Peep and burst out laughing all over again.

R--I know, I know. It feels silly because it's minor damage on such an old car, but that is why I have insurance, right? I don't know why I felt wrong about actually USING the benefits of the policy I've been paying for for years. Damn Catholic guilt, as I said.

R again--Ew indeed. But funny, no? (Also, I'm not horrible at Facebook Scrabble either! I'm just horrible this week.) :-(

Jess--Ah, but you forget! My bumper is indestructible! Nah, I'm kidding. The fact that this was the third time it's taken enough of a hit to leave a mark is a big part of why I want to just go ahead and get it fixed this time to ensure everything's still structurally sound. And incidentally, the insurance inspector didn't even bat an eye over it. He was basically like, "Yep, you need a new bumper. Here's a check." Whew.

lizgwiz said...

stef, you should definitely get a new bumper and not feel guilty about it. Even the most indestructible bumper can only take so much and still do its job of protecting you.

I clicked the link. Great song. you maybe think that the broken ones find YOU, 'cause at least some part of them craves healing and thinks you can help? As opposed to you finding THEM, because you're the one looking for something? Listen to me, acting like I know the tiniest thing about how relationships work. ;)

courtney said...

I provided you with a jigging video, you provided me with the funniest someecard I've ever seen. We made each other feel better! Go us!

Alice said...

oh my god. that ecard is INSPIRED. (slash awful, obviously. as all the best ones are.)

hooray for new bumpers! irrelevant what happened to the rest of the bumper... THIS GUY effed up the bumper right now, so he's paying to replace it. easy-peasy ;-)

Sauntering Soul said...

You should totally get your car fixed and not feel guilty about it. And as usual, I have a story that will make you probably feel less guilty:

Approximately 6 months before my ex-husband and I separated, I scraped the rear passenger door of one of our cars down a concrete post in the parking deck at my office. It scraped it pretty bad. When my ex and I split up, I decided I wanted to go get a new car and handed that one over to him. He started whining about the stupid scratch and how I needed to pay the deductible so he could get it fixed. A couple of days later he was parked on a street somewhere and some guy came speeding along and whacked into the parked car. You guessed it! Right into the rear passenger side door. His insurance had to pay for his mistake. And for mine.

But then 3 months later I went to the parking deck after work only to discover someone had whacked into my rear passenger door of my brand new car. Luckily it was considered a hit and run and I only had to pay half of the deductible. And luckily it was before my divorce was final and the insurance policy was still in my ex-husband's name. He was obviously thrilled about that.

flurrious said...

The whole no-fault concept strikes me as bizarre and would only encourage me to find Mr. Mustang, sideswipe him, and say that that's allowed on alternate Mondays or whatever.

The e-card is hilarious, but ... oh, poor Peep.

Anonymous said...

I played the hell out of Candy-Apple Gray when I was in high school. I mean seriously wore that cassette out. Is this just a Midwest thing? Maybe the weather and the chronic guilt makes us love depressing music?

Lara said...

That someecard is indeed hysterical. I just sent it to most of the women I know. (except you, since you've already seen it, of course). Also, I would totally meet you at Wendy's for a Frosty if we were in the same city, yo.


Beej said...

Hey, how did that game turn out?