Monday, February 05, 2007

Mid-marathon update

Blogging is, by its nature, at least somewhat self-indulgent, and yet somehow it still surprises me when I write about the idle, trivial goings-on in my life and people actually seem to want a follow-up. Today, for example, I received four e-mail messages (some of which were from people I have never met in person) asking me how my marathon date week is going. You guys want updates, apparently. It's not more fun just to wonder?

I do hate to disappoint, so if it's an update you want, an update you shall have. I'm here for you, after all. I may be here for you mainly because ABC decided to air Celebrity In-Style Weddings tonight instead of What about Brian, leaving me with an extra hour I wasn't planning to have, but I'm here for you nonetheless. Therefore I might as well fill you in.

Friday night's dinner with Index Card Guy went fine. On a first-date scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it about a 7.5. It had its awkward moments, of course, but considering I'm someone who frequently says unintentionally inappropriate and awkward things myself, I feel I could maybe cut him some slack. I should, for example, just forget about that moment when I offered to split the check and he actually pointed out that I'd had one more glass of wine than he did*. I should also probably forget about the point where he said that the reason he's still single might be that he has a bit of a problem with commitment. Those were, after all, really the only two noticeably low points of the evening, so it's not really fair to focus on those. (Incidentally, if it somehow turns out that against whatever odds this guy actually stays in the picture, I will, of course, have to edit those details out of this entry at some time in the next month or so. Someone remind me to do that, OK?) In any case, aside from a few minor hiccups, it was for the most part, a reasonably good date, and I am therefore in a "maybe-proceed-with-caution" mindset with this guy.

Sunday was my coffee date with the first of the meMarmony guys to click that "Start Communication" button this time around. Somehow I found it very hard to get through the whole date without mentioning that my pal Guinness Girl had seen his profile and dubbed him a shorter, slightly doughier version of Lance Bass,** but I managed to restrain myself nonetheless. In truth, this guy was perfectly nice and smart and reasonably attractive, and we had a completely comfortable and normal conversation. I felt not one smidge of chemistry, but that is neither his fault nor mine. It is what it is; that's all. (Next!)

After the coffee date, I apparently decided it was time to converse with someone who already knows I am a babbling idiot and a socially incompetent fool seemingly most of the time, so I met up with The Magical Boy for a lovely lunch in Uptown, followed by my third in-theater movie in six months.*** This fake-date was, I think, actually more fun than any of my real dates this weekend, so maybe I should give up on meMarmony and just start dating my friends instead. Since most of my friends are women, that could be an interesting plan. Surely there's a lesbian blog-ring I could join, isn't there?

So that is the ElimiDATE update as it stands this far. In the next three days, I have two more meMarmony dates, but I am hesitant to tell you anything about either of these men, as I have a sneaking hunch that one of them has been resourceful and has already found this blog and all of its potentially incriminating info on his own. A recent highly suspicious hit in my Sitemeter log has me thinking I'm not the only one who does some research before a date, and while I can't fault him for the investigative work, I also can't help but feel a bit violated nonetheless. Not because now I can't freely tell you that one of these guys is a terrible speller and the other looks sort of uncomfortably similar to my ex-boyfriend, but because if a prospective date has found this site, he's found essentially a manual to what makes me tick, and that's not only unfair, but actually takes away some of the fun of the early dates. It is my own fault, of course, for not writing under an alias all along (or for using the same semi-anonymous e-mail address for blog correspondence as I do for meMarmony messages), but I'm kicking myself anyway.

All right. I don't want to end on some ominous low note, so while I haven't found the love of my life online just yet, let me tell you about something new that I do love, OK? My friend Amy recently told me how excited she was about her new yoga/lounging pants from Target, and since she is a tall girl like me with approximately the same build and what-not, I decided to look into this recommendation. People, she was not kidding. I. Love. These. Pants. I may not actually need a new boyfriend, as I think me and these pants are going to be really quite happy together. It was approximately -20 degrees here for much of the weekend, and the whole time I was foolishly out gallivanting around town, going on dates and getting psychic readings and running errands at the strip mall with the most infuriatingly crowded parking lot ever, all I could think about was how excited I was going to be to get home and change into my fabulously comfortable new lounge pants. Short girls, these pants are not for you, as the main draw of them for me (aside from the impossibly soft and just-stretchy-enough fabric from which they're made) was the fact that the hems actually graze the bottoms of my heels, instead of hovering somewhere mid-ankle. But if you're tall like me, I highly recommend you head to Target and seek out the Pro-Spirit yoga pants with the wide-band waist and the drawstring bottoms. You will not be disappointed. That is, unless, like me, you have not vacuumed or swept your floors in some time and you realize, like me, that the trailing bottoms of your pants are actually Swiffering your floors as you move about your home, picking up masses of hair and dust in a way that might be helpful and multi-functional if it weren't also pretty damn disgusting. So. Vacuum your floors. Then buy these pants. I assure you, you will be pleased.


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* This was particularly egregious since I had already paid for my first glass of wine at the bar myself, before he arrived. The smooth way I handled this, however (wherein I said, "Actually, I paid for my first glass at the bar, but big points to you for bringing that up"), was possibly just as blunt and awkward, so maybe we sort of came out even here.

** OK, in all fairness, she said "Lance Bass," and I pointed out that he's a bit shorter and doughier than any N'Sync boy, but I'd prefer to shirk the blame anyway. (Sorry, GG!) ;-)

*** I
am really behind in my current-movie viewing. Lisa, if you're reading this, I blame you. You are my favorite movie-going friend, but we have not been keeping up like we should the past few months! We need to get on that, OK?

17 comments:

Anniina said...

Ok, my two cents: this guy with the "you had one more glass of wine, plus I have commitment issues".... you need to run now. That's just the beginning of what's wrong with him, in my experience. I'm still rooting for the superhero - did you ever get in touch with him? Finally, I am so bummed to be short (once again) - those yoga/lounge pants do sound like a dream.

nabbalicious said...

I was going to say the same thing! The glass of wine thing was very weird, but the "commitment issues" put it over the top. Everyone has issues, sure, but you don't really want one of them to be with commitment. Run screaming in the other direction!

Those pants sound lovely! I wonder if I'm right on the cusp of being able to wear them, as I am neither tall nor short. Hmmm...

3carnations said...

"Short girls, these pants are not for you": For some reason, even as a short girl, that comment cracked me up. I feel mildly discriminated against, and thoroughly amused. I don't know why that comment tickled me so...Kind of a "nothing to see here" sort of thing.

I reserve my judgment of index card guy until you answer the following question (although I think I know the answer): Did he end up paying after his wine comment, or did you split the check?

-R- said...

I am commenting from the bus, which has gone approx .5 miles in the last 15 minutes. I should be to work by noon at this rate. Stupid snow!

What About Brian is on Monday nights? No wonder I have never seen it, as I thought it was on Wednesdays.

Sounds like the dates went reasonably well. I wouldn't be worried about ICG's comments either. Then again, you know the weird things H says, so maybe I am just usd to it.

lizgwiz said...

I'm with the folks who think Index Card Guy was sending up some red flags. I don't know--something about him counting how many glasses of wine you had really bugs me. I don't expect a guy to pay for me (but for some reason they generally always do--do I look poor, or are they just trying to ensure I'll put out? Hee), but being that anal about who had what--that could get really tiresome. What's next? "Your appetizer cost fifty cents more than mine, so..." But maybe that's just my peeve. You do what feels right to you. (I know you were waiting on my permission. Ha.)

L Sass said...

I agree with those who are underwhelmed by Index Card Guy's date skills. It's always something, though. Two years later, I still have not forgiven AS for not offering me cab fare when I came down to his inconvenient neighborhood for our second date.

Of course, since then, he's paid for plenty of cabs when I'm too lazy to subway it to his apartment.

stefanie said...

Anniina--No, the superhero is just in the list somewhere. Neither of us has clicked that "Start Communication" button. Nothing else about his profile must have immediately grabbed me, I guess.

Nabb--Part of me thinks you (and Anniina and everyone else so far) are right, but part of me thinks, "You know what? I put my foot in my mouth all the time, too. And I probably have some commitment issues myself, obviously, so who am I to judge?" I have some other concerns about this one as well, but overall we had a decent time, so I'm not going to rule him out just for those two comments quite yet.

3Cs--Sorry you feel discriminated against, but since it is so damn hard for me to find pants that are long enough, I am just glad that the discrimination for once works in my favor. As for the answer to your question, we did still split the check. It was this really awkward moment where he was like, "Well I offered to pay the whole thing!" and I said, "That's OK; we can split it if you want." I have mixed feelings on the "who pays" issue (which I'm going to address in my comment back to Liz, too), so I'm trying to just let it slide.

R--Stupid snow indeed. I was not pleased with my commute either. And yes, What about Brian is on Monday nights. 9:00-10:00 on channel 5. :-)
Also, thank you. See everyone? Boys say stupid things all the time!

Liz--I'm with you... I don't really expect them to pay (and I don't necessarily think that they have to), but they usually do. And usually when I ask if they want to split it, they decline and pay the whole bill. So I guess that means maybe I do expect them to pay, even though I don't want to expect it? I am a bad feminist, I guess, because I do still think it's nice when they pay... and when they open doors for me, and all of that. (It's hard being a modern woman, isn't it?) ;-)

stefanie said...

L Sass--Sorry; your comment must have come in while I was typing out all those other responses. I'm a bit underwhelmed by a few things, too (things I didn't list here), but I ask you all to remember yet again that those comments were really the two low points of the date. I didn't really set that up in a fair way for any real judgment. Besides that, you obviously kept dating AS despite your annoyance about the cab fare, right?

3carnations said...

I guess I'm a bad feminist, too. My feeling is that on the first date, the woman should offer to pay, and the man should decline her offer. Subsequent dates I feel should be roughly alternated. Meaning, you each pay roughly half the time, but neither of you ever says "I paid last time, so it's your turn." I always found the splitting the check thing to be a real turnoff. I was glad to pay some of the time, but to nickel and dime it (i.e. You had more drinks than I did) takes the romance out of it, so to speak.

Paisley said...

uh - Index Card Guy - WARNING! WARNING! seriously...those two points alone are enough. I'm so glad you said something.

stefanie said...

3Cs--I actually pretty much agree with that norm, though I still feel like it's probably not fair to the guys to expect them to pay for every first date. If you're meeting people online and therefore going on lots of first dates, that gets expensive pretty dang fast. Still, they sort of look like jerks if they don't pay... I guess I'm just glad I'm not a guy. :-)

Paisley--OK, so... last week everybody was all about rooting for Index Card Guy, and now no one likes him at all. Poor Index Card Guy...

The Other Girl said...

I know I'm behind, but how did I not know you were having a marathon date week? That must be what the Elimidate post -- which I read -- was about, but either I was skimming, stupid, or drunk. All viable possibilities, really.

I'm tempted to tell you to run fast and far away from Index Card Guy; on the other hand, you could end up marrying him and then you'd be all, "hmpf!" with me. So discretion being the better part of valor, I'll merely say that dating can be fun. However, if when he was talking about his commitment issues he referred to it as either "the C word" or "the M word," then RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND!

stefanie said...

Maybe "marathon" was the wrong word, as it likely had you thinking I was going on 26 dates consecutively, or maybe going on a 26-hour date with the same guy... Since I didn't manage a four-at-once meet-up, however, the Elimidate analogy seemed to be falling thin.

He actually mentioned the commitment thing as though it was something he was ashamed of and maybe trying to work on, but I shall keep everyone's advice in mind nonetheless.

Anniina said...

I'm all for splitting the check, and sometimes one person pays and another time the other, but like you all said, the nickel-and-diming it might be in his personality indelibly. Like say you move in together and he'd be all like, "well, you had 2 more glasses of orange juice than I did, so you pay $2 more on the next grocery bill." I don't know, something about this guy (whom I don't know at all, and I'm being very unfair to, I know) is just making me itchy. And y'all know I'm not just talking juice here... what else will he keep score of?

stefanie said...

Anniina--Did you just imply what I think you implied? Or is it just my mind that went to a dirty place with that comment?

Anniina said...

I just *KNEW* you'd know what I meant :P

Darren McLikeshimself said...

Index Card Guy needs to be shown the door. If that's how he acts when he's trying to impress you, imagine what it's going to be like after a year or two of dating.

Had one more glass of wine than he did...