Sunday, February 18, 2007

Does this mean Target is no longer my happy place?

OK, this is getting ridiculous. I do not live in Stars Hollow, for fuck sake. I live in Minneapolis, a city that, according to Wikipedia, covers over 58 square miles and houses close to 400,000 people. Add in the rest of the surrounding metro area and the population swells to nearly three million. Within that metro area are no fewer than 35 separate Target stores. All of this means that the likelihood of me running into anyone I know while doing my weekly shopping should be remarkably slim. The likelihood of me running into any of the mere handful of people I really don't want to run into should be even slimmer. And yet, in my life, apparently Target is Doose's Market. Lucky me.

Remember my near-miss with a former meMarmony match at a Target store back in December? Well, it happened again. Different Target store, different guy, but just as awkward in my mind. Today I crossed paths with the off-center soul patch guy you may remember as David McLikeshimself. This time I inadvertently made eye contact before I realized who he was... and then was promptly blocked and detained by a palett-dragging Target employee before I could make a swift and prompt getaway. As an added bonus, I was sporting the unshowered greasy ponytail look yet again, just as I was last time this happened. I could run into these guys when I'm out at an event and in "looking-good" mode, but no. The universe clearly has more humbling plans than that in store for me.

Luckily, either Soul Patch didn't actually notice and recognize me or he had just as little interest in chatting as I did, because he kept on walking down the aisle. Mild crisis averted yet again, I suppose. The universe likes messing with me, but only to a minor degree, it seems.

I haven't done the math lately, but I remain confident that the number of men I have dated in the Twin Cities still remains well under 30 or 40. I really shouldn't have to consider moving just to put myself in a new dating pool (or to avoid further awkward encounters), should I?

Or, even worse, I shouldn't have to start shopping at Wal-Mart instead, right? (Given that solution, moving may actually be the better plan, I think.)

14 comments:

The Other Girl said...

You've made me kind of paranoid about running into exes at Target. Especially because when I go there, I pretty much always throw one of those 24-count packages of toilet paper into my cart. I mean, I'm sure they know I go to the bathroom, but still.

Anniina said...

Wow, now that is bad luck. You're making me consider wearing a wig and sunglasses to my Target...

Poppy Cede said...

I think this is the world trying to tell you something. Not sure if it's trying to tell you to date more or date less, or that you let the best man of your life go along the way, but I'm guessing that will become more evident the more times you go to Target. :)

guinness girl said...

Good Lord, woman! I'm as baffled as you by this crazy phenomenon. Yikes!

lizgwiz said...

Minneapolis must be like Tulsa. Almost half a million people, yet I run into people I know as often as I did when I lived in a town of 13,000. Weird.

And now I'm remembering the time in that small town when I ran into a guy I'd had a crush on for years while shopping at Walmart for an eye patch, while totally hot and sweaty (and a little stoned) after being at the lake all day. I think I definitely have to post that story on the blog.

-R- said...

We run into people H knows at SuperTarget all the time! Yesterday, we ran into this woman he really doesn't like, and we were forced to talk to her for like 10 minutes in the cereal aisle. Aargh. We also run into people from H's hometown (population 1000) all the time. Very weird. I think the problem is Target, not you or Minneapolis.

3carnations said...

Maybe once every 3 months I go out with unwashed hair. The last time I ran into a mom from daycare (yes, it was at Target). In my little world, that's as bad as running into a guy you once dated.

Any new contact with index card guy? (I'm still holding out for him, even though he counted drinks...)

stefanie said...

TOG--I have similar fears, but for me it's usually tampons and Hot Pockets.

Anniina--Or at least making sure you've got clean hair and a fresh coat of lip gloss? Because I think that's MY new plan...

Poppy--I am really hoping the lesson is not that I let the best man of my life get away, because if either of those guys was my soul mate, then I truly can't trust my instincts at ALL.

GG--I know, right? And it's just Target... no where else! Weird.

Liz--OK, and why were you shopping for an eye patch?? That definitely sounds like a story worth telling.

R--You're right; I think it is just Target. I never run into anyone I know at Cub or Rainbow or anywhere else. Avoiding Target is tough, though, so I think I need to keep risking it, unfortunately.

3Cs--You can stop holding out hope for him. Sorry to disappoint. The update isn't really a story worth dedicating a whole post to, but I'll see if I can work it into some other update today or tomorrow.

Poppy Cede said...

Since you've seen more than one of the meMarmony guys at Target I'm guessing the universe is not trying to tell you that one of those guys is your man, but perhaps that your man is coming soon or that a different man was your true love.

don't call me MA'AM said...

Due to the nature of my job, it is rare that I can go anywhere in a 100 mile radius and NOT run into someone I know. Therefore, I must always look like a million bucks. haha

I would definitely move before stepping foot in that Wally-world place.

Perhaps a disguise is in order? A wig, hat, sunglasses... go all incognito, and you'll be fine. Right?

Paisley said...

The horrors! Don't move! It's much more credible to be with a greasy ponytail in Target than in Wal-Mart.

When I was teaching I would always run into students at Target when I looked like hell. Of course, they were just as mortified because OMG WHAT WAS I DOING THERE? AREN'T I LOCKED UP IN THE CLASSROOM OVER THE WEEKEND? haha

L Sass said...

I think Target is, in fact, the center of the universe. All people-- online daters included--need cheap, cute fashion, toiletries, CDs, books, magazines and Archer Farms granola!

Simone said...

I've got a good story. A guy on my memarmony closed me out before any communication then that same day showed up at my house after a date with my roommate...and had met her on a totally different site!

Small world around here!

stefanie said...

Poppy--I am starting to think perhaps the universe and I speak entirely different languages.

DCCM--Maybe you're better off because at least you're expecting to run into people you know? Living in a city of 400,000, I have grown lazily accustomed to anonymity. Times like this, obviously that bites me in the ass.

Paisley--I was actually thinking at Wal-Mart, the greasy ponytail would actually be expected. ;-) I would blend right in!

L Sass--Every now and then I see a Sitemeter hit for someone coming in from Google or Technorati with a search about Target. If that visitor is someone actually doing market research for the store, I imagine you just made his or her day by calling Target the "center of the universe." :-) Also, I was actually in the Archer Farms snacks aisle when this run-in occurred!

Simone--Oh my; that IS a good story. I need more details. I am sending you an email postehaste. (Also, I love that you're calling it meMarmony in my comments, too!) :-) Thank you for helping me keep those particular Googlers away.