Santa's got nothin' on me

As you know, I was on a plane last week. Well, two planes, actually, if we're going to be precise. Do you know what that means? Lots of things, I'm sure, but the one I have in mind is that I got to peruse the Skymall catalog. Usually this is a fun diversion for me. This time, however, it didn't really hold my interest. Maybe the creepy animatronic Elvis on the cover irrevocably put me off. Or maybe the fact that I now regularly receive catalogs in my own home that are filled with items easily rivaling Skymall's fabulously unnecessary wares sort of dimmed the novelty of Skymall in my mind. Last year, I listed several such items in a probably not-too-helpful holiday gift guide for all of you. This year, how about I list some things people you know might actually want? That is, if the people you know are anything like people like me. Because personally, I think all of these are excellent ideas. I could put plenty of things on this list, but since it is Friday, I shall stop at only five of them.


Five fine gifts for the nerd/girly-girl/wino on your list:

1. My friend Carrie has often commented on what she calls my "animated hand gestures." If I do talk with my hands more often than the average person, perhaps that is why I always feel I am one hand short when circulating about parties. More likely, though, I think it's that if you have a drink in one hand and a plate of snacks in the other, it's generally frowned upon to lean forward and retrieve those snacks from the plate using only your mouth. Clearly we need a third hand. OR! Or, we need cocktail plates cleverly designed to hold your wine or martini glass while you gesture madly or recover appetizers from your plate. Problem solved! Amen.
   
   
   Note: These are currently ON SALE, and at this price, you should really buy at least two sets. If there are only four people at your party, they'll probably have no trouble finding a flat surface on which to set their wine while they snack. Get eight or twelve people in the room, though, and look out! Lassoing your glass on your plate becomes much more useful at that point.
   
   
2. Last week, I looked down at my keyboard and decided it was high time I did something about the layer of dust between all the keys. Unfortunately, since the supplies I had on hand were minimal and my attention span was short, this means what I did about it was run the edge of a damp cleaning rag between each row in a haphazard and half-assed fashion. I'm looking down at my keyboard now and realizing my efforts really didn't do a whole lot of good at all. But if I had THIS! If I had this, then I'd have no excuse for messy and revolting keys. Generally I am opposed to single-purpose gadgets and gimmicks. The fact that this item is sold out, however, tells me I'm not the only one who thinks this one's a fine idea.
   
   
   
   
3. Strange as this sounds, I am often envious of girls with perfect, medium-sized breasts who can wear cheapo sports bras and can don low v-neck shirts and wrap tops without hazard. Me, I've got to layer sports bras or pony up for a pricey, genuinely supportive one, and I have to spend ten minutes wrangling a safety pin across a wrap neck if I want to avoid looking like a tramp. That's why the Bosom Button is such a fabulous idea. This surely falls into the "Why didn't I think of that??" category, which means that if I just wait a few years for the patent to expire, equally useful knockoffs will be everywhere for a fraction of the price. Meanwhile, I wonder if Craftster has some ideas for a make-your-own version for me.
   
   
   
   
4. Despite possible evidence to the contrary, I maintain some modicum of confidence that I am a catch, dammit, and should I ever actually get a boyfriend again, he will be lucky to have me. I base this statement on several points of proof, only one of which is that although I would very much like some new jewelry, the diamond "Journey" pendant I keep seeing on TV is really not for me. I'm a girl with somewhat quirkier and less conventional tastes, and while I'll admit that someday I actually would like a genuine diamond on my ring finger, until then, I'd actually much prefer something like one of these.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. And finally, a gift that is maybe more a good idea in theory than in practice... You know how all of us library-loving nerds smile fondly at the mere thought of the scent of books? Well, apparently someone's captured that in a perfume. And while I have to question whether I truly want to smell like musty old paper, I still definitely love the romantic ideal of this product. Too bad Macy's likely doesn't have a tester I can try.
   
   
   
   

So I hope that helps you all with your holiday shopping dilemmas. In addition, in case you hadn't yet noticed, Blogger's got a Christmas present for us, too! It looks like my friends with WordPress blogs can comment with a link again! How about you test that out right now by leaving a note to say hello, OK?