Monday, December 03, 2007

Weekend Update

Surely by now we're all familiar with the bullet-point weekend recap, aren't we? I mean, it's almost a meme, right? Right. Well here's another one.

Things I did NOT do this weekend:
  • Get any Christmas shopping done. (Damn you, No Coast, with all your clever, pretty things that were calling MY name but not the names of any of my friends! It's back to proverbial Square One for me on gifts.)

  • Get any grocery shopping done. (Do you ever end up with random non-perishable food that has been in your cupboard or freezer for so long, you do not actually remember purchasing it? Since it has already been so long since I went shopping, I suddenly have this twisted idea that maybe I should not go grocery shopping again until all of those items are gone. I am running out of food that does not fit into this category, and rather than shop, perhaps this is a good excuse to do some forced using-up of neglected food. Hell, who needs fresh produce when I have Lipton cup-a-soup from the late 90s and mini corn dogs that expired last summer? Surely not me!)

  • Clean my bathroom.

  • Clean my living room.

  • Clean my ANYTHING in my house. (Seriously, do not come over until further notice. Even hobos might shake their heads at the filth and squalor I'm living in currently.)

Things I DID do this weekend:
  • Get in a fight with H about the Catholic Church's view on birth control. (Kidding. It was not a fight at all, and I was actually sort of hoping H was right and my very Catholic mother was wrong. This site suggests otherwise, however. Incidentally, for some reason I thought it might be funny to pretend that H threatened to throw down with me over something so unlikely, but it now occurs to me that joking about religious warfare is maybe not so funny at all. In that case, you can go here for the much more accurate and complete recap of the overall delightful dinner that H and R and I had at Nye's Polonaise. H, can I still come over to play Guitar Hero sometime? Because playing Guitar Hero is on the list of things I did NOT do this weekend, too, and from what I hear, I need to remedy that.)

  • Win the first game of Balderdash I've convinced anyone to play with me in the past five years. And now I would like to revise my answer to the very important question Malia posed recently and say that if I had to save the world from aliens or giant robots using only my prowess in one board game, I think I'd place the fate of the planet on Balderdash. Seriously, I could totally kick some robot/alien ass. In the event of a tie-breaker situation, however, Boggle remains my very close backup choice.

  • Shovel my way out of the first big snowfall of the year (made a lot easier by my helpful neighbor, "Reed," snowblowing my driveway and front sidewalk again... seriously, I won the neighbor jackpot with that guy... I would like to ask that he please, please never move).

  • Have dinner with Bob Schneider. OK, so he was at the next table eating dinner with other people, but he was a mere foot and a half away from me(!!)--close enough to actually see what he was eating and ask him to pass the salt, if I'd felt so inclined. My friend Lisa and I are big fans, but we managed not to bother him at all during his dinner--only caught his eye and said, "Hi, we're coming to your show tonight!" when he was getting up to leave. I was all proud of myself for maintaining my composure and not saying anything too ridiculous whilst talking to a bona fide famous person (particularly one I routinely refer to as one of my fake boyfriends). But then Bob kindly and graciously asked if we had any requests for the show, and I drew a complete blank and forgot the title to any and every of my favorite Bob songs. Because I am smooth like that. So instead of answering, "Sure! How about A Long Way to Get?" or "The Way Life is Supposed to Be" or "God is My Friend" or "Round and Round" or any number of songs I could have suggested I'd like, I said, "Well, Batman, of course" (which is pretty much like requesting Birdhouse in Your Soul at a TMBG show, I think--he's going to play it, but he's likely sick to death of it at this point), and followed that with, "and, um... you know, whatever; I like almost everything you do." Almost? Almost? And then, because I am insane and obviously self-centered, I spent the next two hours convinced that Bob was worrying his pretty little head over which of his songs I don't think were worth recording. You know, because the opinion of one random girl in Minnesota is obviously so important to him. Lord. I need help.

    I actually thought about posting the footage from Batman that I recorded for my own amusement during last night's show, but that would involve file compression or "multi-video upload" or some other fancy term I read about in You Tube's help files but have no idea at the moment how to accomplish. Besides that, recording at the show was probably illegal, and I think I've offended Bob enough for one week, don't you? So you'll just have to settle for someone else's video instead. Looks like there's plenty of it out there to choose from.

And that about wraps up my weekend. Tell me, what did you do with yours?


Noelle said...

I've never been able to say anything intelligent to a famous person. And I do think that TMBG should play Birdhouse all the time.

I also cannot possibly agree with anything that the Catholic Church says about birth control ever. Ever.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I had this crazy little reverie while reading this about aliens landing and you playing Balderdash to stop them from taking over the planet, only they could read your mind so they knew when you were lying, and you had to find a way to block them... I think I smell SciFi original movie!

Pam said...

I don't know this Bob Schneider. If you had met John Schneider, that would have been wicked cool.

Congrats on the Balderdash win!

And I can totally relate to the squalor living conditions. I even had a day off work yesterday and spent it on the couch instead of doing something productive like cleaning. Or at least straightening up.

-R- said...

Npw, I was thinking that the aliens might have already memorized every word and its definition, so I guess I am prone to reveries too.

Nye's was awesome. Thanks for getting me thinking about pierogi at 8:30 am. And I do think it is funny to pretend that you and H physically fought about anything related to Catholicism.

lizgwiz said...

I dream that someday I will meet a famous person and NOT sound like a dithering idiot when I speak. A girl can dream...

I went on one of those limo Christmas light tours this weekend and found out that the Griswold family is living (and decorating) in Tulsa. Hilarious.

Jess said...

I think the weekend you did have sounds much, much nicer than the one you didn't have.

Babs said...

But the important thing is you said *something* to Bob! I would've been the one giggling and pointing, but too shy to even say I was going to his show. You did good. :)

L Sass said...

Polka bars, Catholicism and brushes with fame? Sounds like a great weekend.

I went to the next best thing to MN itself--the live taping of Prairie Home Companion on Saturday night!

Stuntman Mike said...

Need I remind you? You barely won at Balderdash. I saw you sweating... that black piece right behind you... :-)

Aaron said...

Oh, that reminds me of when I got to meet Snow Patrol and I had absolutely nothing to say to them. Because seriously, I am an idiot.

When the aliens come, if they want a "best two out of three" thing, bring 'em to me (after you Balderdash the fuck out of them), and I will destroy them at Ms. Pac Man. Yes, yes, yo.

Poppy Cede said...

I'll tell you again, how's that?




(sorry i'm yelling)


steve said...

Is it bad that I made more than one trip to Costco in the same weekend? Yeah. But I did have some excellent dim sum in Chinatown in Sunday.

Sounds like Reed is earning himself a kickass holiday gift. You definitely lucked out with him.

Stefanie said...

Noelle--I should clarify that H wasn't actually agreeing with the Church's stance on birth control; he was just telling me that they are not entirely and absolutely opposed to it, while I was saying I was pretty sure their official stance was "No way."

NPW--Oh crap. I didn't really think about aliens being able to read my mind... Damn aliens and their super magical powers.

Pam--That sounds like something I would do (lounge around on my day off instead of cleaning). Also, I don't know that I would for sure even recognize John Schneider these days.

R--Another good point. You guys just don't have any faith that I could beat an alien, do you?

Liz--Did you take pictures?? :-)

Jess--You make a good point.

Babs--You're in Austin, right? So you're one of the few people reading this who actually knows who Bob is? Do you agree that he is dreamy???

L Sass--Oh, yay! I think I heard that episode. (Or did he tape shows in NY two weeks in a row? I think it was on my way home from Thanksgiving that I heard the show taped from NY.)

"Mike"--You know what bugs me even more than real-life friends lurking but never commenting? Real-life friends commenting only to tell me when I'm wrong about something! I won fair and square by at least six points. You may have started off with a bit of a lead, but I caught up pretty quickly. Don't be revising history, my friend.

Aaron--I know; I usually don't even have any desire to talk to famous people, because I have no idea what to say. And I will be sure to send the aliens to you after I am done with them. Also, remind me never to play Ms. Pac Man with you.

Poppy--Seriously, I need to finally try this game.

Steve--Is that bad? No, I don't think so... I've made two trips to Target in the same weekend before. If you need stuff, you need stuff!

metalia said...

I give you much credit; had I seen Bob Schneider, I would have PHYSICALLY ATTACHED MYSELF TO HIS PERSON.