Thursday, May 22, 2008

Five things I have learned in the past week

  1. I am incapable of making an error in my checkbook that works in my favor.

  2. If you tell the lady at the deli counter that you want a half a pound of cheese, but do not tell her that you would like it in one big block because you plan to shred it, she will give it to you sliced.

    2b. It is not as easy to shred sliced cheese as you might think it is.

  3. Low sodium soy sauce does not taste just like regular soy sauce.

    3b. It's not terrible, however.*

  4. Not everyone believes that flossing your teeth falls unquestionably under the list of activities it is NOT OK to do while driving.

  5. My wiseguy coworker does not own any pants other than jeans (and he fails to see why I think this is absurd and possibly indicative of some sort of mild failure in life).

    5b. Apparently you can both take the girl out of Wisconsin and Wisconsin out of the girl. **

* And even if it were, I would feel awfully silly complaining about it after paying only $1.48 for the bottle on clearance at SuperTarget.

** And apparently my father was right and living in the city has turned me into a huge snob. Whoops.


lizgwiz said...

Well, now I'm just sitting here wondering what kind of culinary wizardry calls for both 1/2 pound of shredded cheese AND soy sauce. (And I realize those two items were likely not related, but still, I'm wondering. Must be a slow day.)

3carnations said...

Really, you didn't know about the cheese thing? And once you saw her slicing it, couldn't you have put a stop to it?

-R- said...

So I am assuming the coworker wears jeans to weddings, funerals, all work events, etc? Yeah, not good.

nancypearlwannabe said...

All I can think about is, you have a checkbook?!

L Sass said...

Shredding sliced cheese sounds like a recipe for sliced FINGERS. If you got out of this situation sans blood, I salute you.

Poppy Cede said...

I just run a knife through sliced cheese - slice it into thin, thin strips then cut it into shorter pieces.

And I love low sodium soy sauce, but love low sodium teriyaki even more. :)

Mair said...

I'm with Poppy -- chop the cheese! Or make a bunch of grilled cheese sammiches, then order some more cheese to shred.

Low-sodium ketchup is worse. It's ... sweet. (SHUDDER)

metalia said...

Yes, what are you making with the soy sauce and cheese? I must know!!

Jen said...

A complete separation from Wisconsin-ness? How did you accomplish this?!

Stefanie said...

First off, I can't believe NOBODY is appalled by the woman flossing her teeth while driving. Seriously? That doesn't strike any of you as just plain WRONG? Perhaps if you'd seen the way she was swerving all over the road. I thought maybe she put too much Jack Daniels in her morning coffee, but no; she just decided the road was a good place for oral hygiene.

Ahem. Moving on.

Liz--Nope, not related. The cheese was for Amy Sedaris's cheese ball recipe (which I made for my party last weekend), and the soy sauce was just because I was out of soy sauce. The cheese ball DID call for A1 steak sauce, though, so you can ponder the culinary pairing of those two things if you'd like...

3Cs--I guess I don't usually buy cheese in increments or formats not available in the self-service areas. I just didn't think about it when I asked at the counter. And then she took the big brick of cheese over to a slicer at the back of the deli where I couldn't really see what she was doing (nor did I want to make a scene and yell back at her even if I did). Eh. No sense getting worked up over sliced cheese. I don't like to be a bother. :-)

R--Thank you. I'm glad it's not just me then. Really, WTH?

NPW--Oh, you whippersnappers with your newfangled online banking and such... Haven't we already covered this? (For the record, I do use online banking to transfer money between accounts and occasionally to check transaction amounts, etc. But I simply do not understand how any of you people can rely solely on the running tally online and still know exactly what checks you've written or transactions haven't been deducted yet. I fear I would accidentally be overdrawn at the end of damn-near every pay period.)

L Sass--Full disclosure: I gave up on that project pretty quickly. I thought it wouldn't be too hard to hold on to the stack and shred that way, but when I realized how much it was going to flop around, I stopped trying. I had another block of cheese I bought when I didn't think the deli counter stuff would be enough, and it turned out I got nearly the full two cups I needed out of that block anyway.

Poppy--All helpful tips. Thank you.

Mair--Really? Now I actually sort of want to try it. I remember liking the ketchup in Great Britain because it tasted like they put sugar in it or something (which, to me, worked well paired against salty fries). Maybe it was just low sodium!

Metalia--See comment back to Liz, above. Totally unrelated purchases (sorry to disappoint).

Stefanie (Me, not all the many, many Stefs who seem to stop by here)--Way to make your comments back to comments ridiculously long and uninteresting today! Whoo!

Poppy said...

Your comment back to my comment was not long.

I am insulted.

(Not really.)

Stefanie said...

Jen--Whoops. You popped in while I was typing all my ridiculous and long comments. Hello! I haven't gotten rid of ALL my Wisconsin-ness, I'm sure. I do still call a drinking fountain a bubbler and occasionally slip and call an ATM a Tyme machine. Also, I should point out that I meant no offense or disrespect to my WI roots (or to any readers who live there). If nothing else, I should ate least have specified RURAL Wisconsin--you know, those parts (where I'm from) where jeans and a Packer sweatshirt or a button-up flannel are deemed entirely acceptable wedding reception attire.

Stefanie said...


(Whoops. That's another short one. Shall I ramble on?)

Poppy said...

I enjoy your rambles.

badger reader said...

Happy to see a Friday five with bonus subpoints - yay! I was severely grossed out by the car flossing, icky-ick!
Sad to say, but the suburban parts of Wisconsin are not much different than the rural parts you write about. Been to more than 5 weddings/baptisms/funerals where flannel and/or packer apparel was seen.
A bubbler shall always be a bubbler!
Hope your holiday weekend is injury free, and your fun stories can come from a different medium.

Courtney said...

Flossing WHILE DRIVING?!? No, no, no. That is not okay.

Mickey said...

Brushing while driving would be better, but flossing requires way too much focus.

Your wiseguy coworker may be my new hero, aside from the wiseguy part. Wouldn't it be great if jeans were as dressed up as we ever HAD to get? No? Well I think so.

lizgwiz said...

Oh, I have eaten many an Amy Sedaris cheeseball, so I am familiar with the cheese/steak sauce flavor combo. (We did the "Book of Liz" here a few years ago--written by Amy and David Sedaris, and cheeseballs figure prominently into the plot. I had to eat them onstage, while saying lines, no less.)

Anonymous said...

I cannot even imagine having the coordination to floss and drive at the same time. I like to prioritize avoiding head-on collisions over proper dental hygiene. Sue me.

Jess said...

I have a friend who doesn't own a pair of jeans, and I thought that was shocking. But only owning jeans might even be more shocking. Unless you're, like, in middle school.

Lara said...

I have a hilarious image of you attempting to grate sliced cheese. I hope you didn't injure yourself!

bleeding espresso said...

Hey I sometimes still call an ATM machine a MAC machine b/c that's what they were (and still may be!) in central PA. I didn't realize that you Wisconson peeps said bubbler; I went to school with a girl from Wausau and yet the only time I ever heard bubbler was from a Boston gal...and then it was more like bubblah. Huh.

Jess Riley said...

I once saw a guy brushing his teeth while driving. He was spitting into a coffee mug. So, flossing seems a little 'less bad' in comparison. (But still, pretty bad.)

BUBBLER! I called it that, too!

Also, ps: I hope you like the book!!