Monday, September 15, 2008

I guess I could go my usual route and type "Mannibal Morpse"...

So who here (aside from those of us in the Twin Cities) remembers this? It was big news all over the country a little over a year ago, but I suspect it's slipped off your radar since then. Not me. Nope. I'm still detouring every time I leave my house to go anywhere other than work, and consistently dealing with excess traffic on previously sparse city streets that now serve as alternates. Not for long, though. Whoo! The new bridge is scheduled to open on THURSDAY. As in, three days from now. THREE DAYS. Whee!

Frankly, I cannot decide how to celebrate. Drive back and forth from here to Midtown just for fun, simply because I can do so in only ten stoplights instead of seemingly 110? Drive to Uptown a logical and semi-direct way, rather than Mapquesting three different routes and making a wild guess as to which is least convoluted and ridiculous? Oh! I know! Date a guy in the southwest metro, just because he's no longer so geographically inconvenient! Yes!

OK, I am kidding on that last one. Or, on all of them. And I'm well aware this is big news to no more than five of you. Still, I am excited, and it is my blog, so there you go.

Sadly, that is about the most exciting news I have for you at the moment. It rained all weekend; hence, my garage is still unpainted. I did have an excellent time at the They Might Be Giants show that nearly everyone I know mocked me for wanting to attend, but other than that, I was mostly a nonproductive homebody the past two days. Oddly, my feedreader still has 108 unread posts in it, and I still can't remove Christopher Moore's Lamb from my "What I'm Reading" box. What did I do this weekend? Obviously there was a time warp involved.

On a brighter note, that fifty bucks I spent on this latest online date-finding venture is totally panning out for me. I mean, just this evening I got a message excitedly telling me that "Bob" is interested in me! Bob! As in, the Bob whose profile I viewed the other night and decided that even though we'd be an excellent couch-sharing pair on one of those "We Can Solve It" commercials, I just don't really think he is my type. Actually, I'm not convinced I even have a "type," but I'm still pretty sure that under the umbrella of men who might be my type, you won't find a burly, heavily tattooed, bald man with a piercing through the bridge of his nose and a t-shirt that says, um, that says, "Flesh-eating dead body." Call me closed minded, but I am a little scared. (Incidentally, the shirt does not actually say "Flesh-eating dead body." It says two words that I do not want to type, because I am pretty sure that together those words form a band name, but it's a band I know nothing about and one whose fans I'd rather not start Googling their way here. So just imagine a black shirt with red letters meant to look like they're written in dripping blood, spelling out a word that starts with "C" that describes what that Hannibal Lecter guy was, followed by another word that starts with "C" and rhymes with "Forpse." Fun. Am I still in these parentheses? I guess I am. Whoops. Let's remedy that.)

So anyway, "Bob" is interested in me, and you can imagine how excited I am about that. I mean, maybe he'd take me someplace really nice on our first date! Someplace where leather vests are mandatory and you get a free cocktail if you bite off a rat's head! Sorry. I'm unfairly judging Bob by his cover. He may be my soul mate, after all. Let's hope not.

19 comments:

Noelle said...

I can't believe you went to TMBG without me! I would have totally detoured over the 110 to get there.

3carnations said...

Normally I'm all about "give him a chance", but Bob! makes me a little nervous.

flurrious said...

I sort of love that Bob is into online matchmaking. Can't he just meet some chicks in a biker bar? On the plus side, I think you going out with him (once) would make for an excellent episode of Stefanie's Awkward Life.

lizgwiz said...

Oh, please, PLEASE go out with Bob. Do it for us, your devoted readers. Heh.

Courtney said...

Whoa. Bob sounds scary. Run, Stefanie! Run!

nancypearlwannabe said...

I think you should go out with Bob just to see where he takes you. Who knows? Maybe it will be an opportunity to expand your leather collection.

Jess said...

I want you to go out with Bob just so you can tell us about it after. Please?

Melliferous Pants said...

I love TMBG! I saw them in concert waaaaay back in the day and they were super fabulous. I've recently started listening to them again, they're great!

You totally need to go out with Bob. The "if it's human meat, it's good to eat" is an excellent crowd to date.

Craig said...

Who would dare mock you for going to see They Might Be Giants? We're talking about Particle Man, "Say I'm the only bee in you're bonnet" They Might Be Giants, right? I can't believe anyone would mock rather than being jealous. (I'll avoid making jokes about how it's also nobody's business but the Turks.)

While I firmly believe that everyone's decisions should be made based on what amuses me, it seems that I don't even have to suggest that you give Bob a shot. Everyone else is already hoping for the after-Bob-date post.

Neurotic Grad Student said...

I personally am going to drive to the Quarry and back a bunch of times this weekend. I can not wait.

-R- said...

The bridge was built so fast - I was really surprised to hear it would be done this week!

I don't know where most of my weekends go either. Too much time listening to Mannibal Morpse, I guess.

Sauntering Soul said...

I'm also a member of the "I Love TMBG" club. I'm jealous that you saw them.

You should go out with Bob and tell us all about it. Man, that sounds so original after 10 other people already said it.

I feel your pain with the bridge except without the collapsing part. Here in Atlanta they decided to tear down a major bridge in midtown so they could move it and install some electrical stuff and at the same time they decided to close a bunch of lanes of the expressway through town every weekend for the past 8 months to repave. Couldn't they have done these things oh, I don't know, NOT AT THE SAME TIME! Luckily the repaving ended a couple of weekends ago but not before I got really lost trying to take backroads to the airport to pick up a friend of mine last month and ended up in one of the scariest parts of town I've ever been in.

Mickey said...

I'm not a fan, but I hardly think TMBG deserve mocking. Or you for attending the show. In fact, given the opportunity, I'd see them.

And congrats on the new bridge. Hopefully this one will stick aroung a while.

Heather said...

Really? Who mocks people for going to a TMBG show? I adore those guys, and they're fun live!

Bob sounds like he's worth a date for the blog post you're surely going to get out of it. Just let someone know where you'll be first.

Aaron said...

Maybe the first C-word is throwing me, but it sounds like "Bob" might be a zombie movie watcher. I'm just saying.

How could I forget the bridge collapse? It was like the universe validating every childhood fear I had about bridges.

Monkey said...

What? There are people who do NOT think TMBG are cool? Boy, my world. It is very small.........

Stefanie said...

Noelle--Trust me. If I thought there was any chance at all you would have made the trip, I would have mentioned it. Next time, my friend. Next time!

3Cs--He makes me a little nervous, too. I just logged in and clicked the "Not interested" button on him, and I felt a little involuntary shudder as I did so.

Flurrious--I know, right? Oddly, he didn't mention bikes at all in his profile. You'd think if he's not looking for a biker chick, he'd rethink his image.

Liz--Um, No. Sorry. I'll do a lot for you people, but... NO.

Courtney--Thank you. At least one of you is on my side! :-)

NPW--True, but... NO.

Jess--Am I sensing a theme here? NO.

Pants--I love them, too. "Desert island band" for sure. Hadn't seen them in years, but they were just as entertaining as ever.

Craig--In my friends' defense, they weren't necessarily mocking my ever liking TMBG. They just think TMBG is a band I should be *over* by now. (Wait. Why am I defending them?? Kidding.)

Grad Student--Yay! Someone not talking about Bob! Perhaps I'll see you at the Quarry this weekend. :-)

R--Ha. I always knew you were a death metal fan. (I don't even know if Mannibal Morpse is death metal. It's just a guess, of course.)

Sauntering Soul--Ugh. Don't get me started on road construction, too. It took me an extra 20 minutes to get home tonight because they've decided to rip up and close a lane of a road they've ALREADY SHUT DOWN EVERY PART OF AT SOME POINT THIS SUMMER. Excuse the all caps. MnDOT is working my last nerve.

Mickey--Thank you. I concur (on all points.)

Heather--They're totally fun live! I think my friends just think I should have outgrown TMBG by now. Go figure.

Aaron--I know, right? And yet, somehow I'm not at all scared to drive over the new bridge. Given all the press about the collapsed one, I figure even with the accelerated build timeline, it HAS to be the safest bridge in the whole damn state.

Monkey--No! Your world is big! Hence your appreciation for TMBG. :-) You are among friends here.

michelle of bleeding espresso said...

Yeah, I'm often in the "you never know" camp, but, um, I think we kinda know here.

Alice said...

they reported on the new bridge opening all the way here in dc!

i'd.. uh.. stay away from him too. i hate to be judgy BLAH BLAH BLAH but... i'd stay away.