So. Given how quickly I lost steam and grew tired of my theme, you would think I would be DONE writing about dating for quite some time. Alas, you would be wrong, because waiting in my Inbox this morning was a wink from this fine gentleman!
Focus for a minute on the small strip of gray below his belt buckle and tell me what you see.
So? What say you? Has this grown man's mother sewed his name upon his pants, but overzealously placed the tag outside of his waistband rather than in? Is he wearing the Z. Cavariccis that he bought in 11th grade and the label is just a bit askew? Or did this man actually post on his Internet dating profile a picture in which his shirt is sticking out the fly of his pants?
I think you know my vote. I think you also know I love any excuse for a poll. Let's play!
It really is a wonder I'm still single; is it not?
26 comments:
Perhaps I'm evil, but I thought this was really funny.
He looks strangely familiar (even with the black rectangle across his eyes) - I think I've seen him before!
I must also be evil, since I am laughing my ass off!
I wonder...do these people even look at their photos before they post them on a dating site?
I want to say that might be one of those little zipper tags... but no. That is definitely his shirt.
I'm thinking it's his shirt. Could you let him know about that? It might be affecting the number of responses he gets...
Forget what is going on with his fly, isn't it more important that he is wearing RED pants?
I was thinking it was the tail of some gray rodent before I noticed the telltale puckering of the shirt that gave away the true answer.
All is not lost, however. I feel better about myself now. Although, I do also feel a little guilty.
I thought maybe his zipper was all mangled? But you are totally right, and it was definitely not on purpose. AWK.
This guy seems to have a number of "issues", the fly-shirt only being the most major. Unless you really want a fixer-upper, run...run now!
I'm with Dutchess on this. Red pants? I've never owned red pants not intended for swimming. But if I did I'd make sure my fly was up before taking a self portrait.
Even though we can't see his eyes, he sure looks proud of himself.
I think I would like to read some of his profile, as well. Were there any highlights? ;)
As I said, as much as I'd like to say it's his shirt, because in fact he LOOKS like a guy who might do something so dumb, I think it's a little toggle pull-tab thing on his bright red cargo shorts.
You know. For those cases when he has to pull his pants down quickly. Those RARE cases in which, I mean. I think that the corresponding twist in the shirt might be a coincidence.
Not only can the poor sap not dress himself (and that's saying a LOT coming from me), he also managed to make it look like he still lives in his mom's basement. The basketball hoop on the door is a klassy (tm) touch.
IF that is in fact a toggle (still questionable in my mind), did his mother attach it for him? Who would take the time to do that? I have a problem sewing on just one button.
Your next challenge is to go to the women's section of the website and find him a mate! (Perhaps someone with a nip slip pic?)
Shirt weiner! Gray Cheeto! I am rolling over here.
But I'm laughing in a way that, if I were laughing out loud, I would finish it up with an "awwww..." because I kind of feel bad for this guy. How oblivious do you have to be to not see that your fly is open in your own dating profile picture?
I selected "other" and dare venture to say that this guy pissed someone off, and they posted a fake profile of him to be funny. And funny it is!
i keep wanting to post pictures of my match.com dudes, but then i wimp out. i'm afraid they'll.. read it? or something? AM WIMP.
That is hysterical! He totally could have cropped the picture. How did he not notice that?
I think it's part of his own anatomy. Small, isn't it.
The shirt wiener is the least of his problems. Red shorts, black belt, nerf ball hoop. I only wish the picture were full-length so we could get a good view of the (black socks and Keds)/(white socks and brown dress shoes). And I'm with Liz; I would like to read some of his profile.
Megan--Obviously I'm more evil than you are, because I posted it.
Angela--You know, I was going to send another email to let you guys know I was posting this and you should just pretend you hadn't seen it already, but I thought that would be silly and unnecessary. Oh well.
Mel--I honestly think he knew it was there and thought it was funny. It seems I'm in the minority on that, though.
NPW--I agree. Definitely not a zipper tag.
3Cs--I'd really rather not contact him. If he DID do it on purpose, I'd hate to have him think that tactic is actually working.
Dutchess--You bring up another fine point. Really there's just so much to work with here!
Craig--YOU feel guilty? I'm the one who posted it! I'm sure I lost a few dating karma points for that...
Jess--No one else seems to think it was on purpose. Why am I giving this guy the benefit of the doubt, when purposeful or not, it's sort of equally lame (just for different reasons)?
Sarah--Yeah, not really in the market for a fixer-upper. Thanks.
Mickey--I suppose it's hard to make a relaxed, casual face when you're doing the self-timer profile shot in your living room.
Liz--Sadly, no. It was the generic profile with one useless and unoriginal detail after another. "I enjoy going out and staying in. I like movies. I care about my friends." Nothing like picking the details that make you stand out, dude. There was the occasional spelling error and arbitrary capitalization, though, of course.
Carrie--Really? A toggle that's the exact same color as his shirt? I'm skeptical. But way to give him the benefit of the doubt. (Would you like me to forward his profile to you?) :-)
Steve--Ah, but did you see there's a staircase going DOWN from there, too? Methinks this is a split level, and his basketball hoop is right in the hall off his living room. EXTRA klassy.
Angela--I agree. Not a toggle. But Carrie is entitled to her opinion. :-)
Noelle--Well, they do have that "match your friends" feature now... Sorry; I'm not looking for a project right now.
Courtney--Then let's go back to thinking he DID see it (and did it on purpose). Do you feel less bad for him then? (I do.)
Heather--If that were the case, though, I think they would have done a better job on the profile. It wasn't overtly laughable or offensive; it was just boring.
Alice--No, you are not a wimp. You are smart. I may live to regret this.
Allie--Again, I think he did. But apparently I'm the only one.
12ontheinside--Ew. Did you really just go there? Yes. Yes you did. ;-)
Flurrious--Excellent point as usual. And see the comment back to Liz re: the rest of the profile.
Well, my soon-to-be-ex-husband's wearing red pants now...in a picture in his high school yearbook from 1986. He maintains that they were cool then, but wearing such pants now can only mean that this guy's missing a vital screw. What is with men who can't dress themselves? What is with men who don't grow up? Dear God, I do not want to date again. However, the fact that you've done lots of it and have managed to retain your sanity gives me hope.
Also, you poor dear, but this will perhaps all be a fun story to tell the chillens and grandchillens you have (if that is indeed your plan) with the charming fellow you meet at the end of all this. Yes, that.
--Shana [formerly in MO, thrilled to be back in Oklahoma ("OK!"), despite the fact that every county went for McCain/Palin *shudder*]
In response to your last comment: I like to be a shit now and again :P
I don't think he did it on purpose; he just noticed it after the fact and chose to post the photo anyway! (I voted he didn't notice it.)
I tagged you for a meme! I'm aware this would have been more useful during NaBlo.
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