Monday, January 26, 2009

I suppose in this economy, a "staycation" does make the most sense.

Well then. Much as that Someecard I lifted for my Inauguration Day post does continue to perfectly sum up how I'm feeling (raise your hand if you're still smiling involuntarily every time you hear the words "President Obama"), Inauguration was a week ago, and I'd best be posting something new, hadn't I? After all, I received an email from 3Carnations today wondering if I'd run off and moved into a Buddhist center. Perhaps some of the rest of you were wondering the same thing.

Nope. Still here, and it's a very good thing I do not live in a Buddhist center, as they likely would have kicked me out by now given that I don't think anyone could peacefully meditate with me barking like a pack-a-day smoker with advanced emphysema for the past five days. I routinely think about the many reasons it's probably best I live alone, but usually they have to do with things like being able to leave the bathroom door open when I pee and having complete control over the TV (which I can actually see from the bathroom when I leave the door open to pee, not that I would ever do something so tacky and barbarian, of course). This week I'm thankful I live alone for another reason, though, and that's that I managed to pick up a case of bronchitis, and I'm well aware that sharing bronchitis is significantly less fun than sharing anything else that comes in a case.

I do feel bad for my coworkers, who despite never having taken any sort of vow to love me in sickness and in health are forced to listen to me cough away all day, and yet bless their hearts, haven't sealed me in a sound- and germ-proof bubble just yet. Hooray. And today I spent my lunch hour at the walk-in clinic in a local grocery store, where the nice physician's assistant readily handed out Zithromax and Codeine-laced cough syrup as if they were candy, a seemingly devil-may-care attitude to this whole "we must stop overprescribing antibiotics" nonsense. I actually passed on the Codeine (Which was totally the wrong move, right? How often do we get the chance to try the good stuff??), but I have high hopes that with the Zithromax alone I will be on the mend soon. Fingers crossed, because I do think I'd miss my lungs if I just inadvertently hacked one out mid-cough.

In case you are curious, however, while I haven't moved into a Buddhist center, the Buddhist is still in the picture, and I very much hope he's not hacking up any internal organs on my account soon too. I also hope I didn't breathe too closely to the guy I had a date with on Thursday, as I turned down his invitation for a second date, and to be rejected and infected in the same evening is something I wouldn't wish on even the most boring of Catch dot Mom man. Which this one wasn't, by the way. Boring, I mean. No, he was perfectly nice and friendly and even fun-ish and mildly interesting. I also felt absolutely zero romantic chemistry with him, however, and while I know it's an ongoing debate whether that sort of thing matters from the start, I'd still prefer to trust my instincts and skip the ho-hum second date this time. I may be irreparably wrecking my dating karma in a way that will come back to haunt me in a manner similar to the so-called best date of '08, but that is a risk I'm going to take, my friends.

Speaking of Catch dot Mom men, I would like to tell you about the latest one to wink at me. His favorite local hot spots include "the airport," and his favorite place "abroad" is New York City. I realize there are times I'm not as smart as I like to think I am. I can think of more than two times when I've snidely mocked the absurdity of something only to realize it was I who was in the wrong. So help me out here, word nerds. I know the Midwest is deemed fly-over land. I know it's a foreign country to many of those on the coast. But New York City? A location "abroad"? Technically, perhaps, but please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that dude's horizons (or vocabulary) could stand some growth?


NGS said...

Once I had pneumonia (it was bad) and they gave me Codeine laced cough syrup. It made me sick to my stomach. So maybe it's a good thing you passed on it!

New York is abroad? Huh. Definitely away from home, but not so much in the traditional sense of the word...

MplsMel said...

NYC is not abroad. That's just that.

Feel better soon!

3carnations said...

New York City isn't abroad. No way around that. Someone either didn't read carefully or has reading comprehension issues.

Sarah B. said...

Go back and get the codeine. You won't feel as though your trachea and lungs are dry, ground beef and you'll be able to sleep. Just eat some crackers or something when you take it.

Feel better soon!

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Ew, why is there a walk-in clinic in a grocery store. That sounds like the last place you should be inviting germs.

flurrious said...

New York City is abroad if you live in France. Does he live in France? Why are you trying to date a French man? Is it because of the fries? Okay, I'll stop now.

But I see that you slipped in the fact that Jimmy the Buddhist Pothead is still around and then quickly started talking about something else as if we wouldn't notice. I will not press you for details, unless you don't provide them soon, and then I will.

Stefanie said...

NGS, Mel, and 3Cs--Thank you. That's what I thought. And it's not even that he didn't read carefully. The question just asks for your "Favorite hot spots." He ADDED the "abroad"!

Sarah--Trust me, I was tempted to rethink the codeine last night. When will the coughing stop??? :-(

Dutchess--Aren't there minute-clinics in any stores out by you? We have them in some Target stores, too. At the grocery store, it's right by the pharmacy and the health & beauty aids section, so I don't think it's particularly gross... And you can't beat walking in without an appointment and coming out ten minutes later with a prescription. It just seemed a whole lot more convenient that heading to my regular clinic.

Flurrious--He does not live in France. As for details... yeah, I'm tricky that way.

Anonymous said...

I had codeine once and still think about it. That is probably why my doctor gives me nothing but yoga poses and vitamins.
I say- get the meds, they will make you feel better. Or send them to me. Whichever.

Jess said...

I am definitely with you on the abroad thing. And I'm sorry you have bronchitis. Get better soon!

nancypearlwannabe said...

I would list the airport as one of my least favorite places.

Sorry you're sick, lady- it seems to be going around. Half of the sixth grade class is out today!

Courtney said...

Any American who thinks NYC is abroad is a moron. Period.

The Buddhist and a date on the side? Way to play the field!

Alice said...

oh man, bronchitis is NO fun. i'm sorry :-(

and... uh.. no. NYC is not abroad. it just isn't.

Sauntering Soul said...

NYC is definitely not abroad. Although my ex-husband was from NYC and he often seemed like he had to be from another country. Or even another planet sometimes.

Sorry to hear you've been sick. That sucks. Hope you're better really soon!

Stefanie said...

Monkey--Yoga and vitamins may cure a lot of things, but I'm not sure bronchitis is one of them. Actually, I'm not sure yoga and vitamins cure a lot of things after all.

Jess--I'm very glad I was not wrong on this. NYC? Abroad? NO!

NPW--The airport is my favorite place only when going there means I'm flying somewhere. I'd hate to think he was implying he goes there just for the overpriced fast food and the travel-sized toiletries.

Courtney--Well, as I don't really know for sure where things are going with The Buddhist, it seemed logical to remain in "Keeping my options open" mode. Also, Thursday dude was on the line for a couple weeks before The Buddhist resurfaced. Besides that, playing the field (temporarily, at least) is nothing new in these parts. I'm sorry; are you new here? ;-)

Alice--No fun at all. And thank you: it just isn't.

SS--Ha. Good point. Still, I doubt that's what the guy meant.

Noelle said...

I hope you feel better? And who besides closeted Senators likes the airport? It's possible that he was making a joke about New York being "abroad," but if he was, he's got to realize that he's going to attract a certain kind of woman who doesn't think that ironic.

Mickey said...

Maybe he's never left the country. There are worse traits in a person, after all.

And that "case" line? Brilliant.

Now take care of yourself. Keep both lungs, if you can.

lizgwiz said...

I kind of think I've had codeine and it upset my stomach, too. So, if you go back for some--take it with food.

Sadly, I think NYC WOULD be "abroad" for many of the guys around here.

If you end up married to the Buddhist it would make a GREAT Lifetime TV Movie!

Stefanie said...

Noelle--When in doubt, I always vote for "NOT a joke." Remember the dude with his shirt in his fly? Oh my.

Mickey--Thanks. I was hoping someone would appreciate that one. And I'll try. I do think I need both of them.

Liz--You do mean one of the cheesy, happy Lifetime movies, right? Not one of the ones where the woman falls in love and only later finds out her husband is a polygamist or a murderer or a Central American drug trafficker? Although in those ones, the woman always ends up happy in the end with the very helpful detective assigned to her case, so maybe it would all work out either way.

Anonymous said...

I'm always behind on commenting...but anyway, I don't think it's possible to mess up your dating karma. And go with your gut on the NYC dude. MORON. I hope you feel better soon!

steve said...

NYC can only be referred to as "abroad" if you're referring to its unique qualities in a tongue-in-cheek way. Otherwise, he's just dumb.

Also, winks are retarded; I ignore them. Either send an email or don't - but don't do it half-assed.

If it matters any, I'm still of the opinion that you should listen to your instinct and your feelings of attraction - if there isn't a spark, then it's time to move on.

Hope you feel better soon.

Lara said...

Oh, bronchitis! That sucks! I hope you are better now!

Also, my favorite place abroad is NYC, too! (What?)