You say you want a resolution

I've never been much for making New Years resolutions--particularly public ones that might compel those around me to follow up and check my progress. Sure, I could stand to be a better person in various ways, and there are plenty of things I could work on in an effort to achieve that goal. I could smile more. I could be more patient. I could make some effort to let things go and to move on (in both my personal and professional life). I could stop eating like a 17-year-old boy. I could do charity work.

All of these things would be good and noble goals. They're also not my style. Instead, I choose to recognize that who I am at this point in my life is pretty much who I'm going to be. Really there's no sense fighting 31 years of habit and temperament. I'm "done" at this point; I'm fully cooked. I prefer to accept that and be at peace with myself mostly as I am.

So in that spirit, I begin this year not with a list of things I'm aiming to give up, stop doing, or try to do better. No, instead I'm compiling my anti-resolutions--a list of things I'm going to keep right on doing in the coming year just as I've been doing them in previous years. You can't stop me; don't even try. With my anti-resolve, I intend to continue...

• Staying in bed as late as I feel like it on every Saturday and Sunday when I'm able to. It is not "wasting half the day" to spend precious daylight hours in bed if that's what I genuinely want to do with those hours.
  
  
• Getting a good and sloppy drunk on at least a few times a year.
  
  
• Eating very bad for me things in inappropriate quantities (e.g., the better part of a tube of raw cookie dough; half a Freschetta pizza; a Big Mac extra value meal), so long as it's not an overly frequent occurrence and so long as my jeans still fit.
  
  
• Making fun of people who truly deserve it.
  
  
• Cursing at people in traffic.
  
  
• Cursing in general.
  
  
• Choosing to spend time with my friends or just hang out by myself rather than feeling I should "get out there" and go on a date with someone I'm really not even remotely excited about.
  
  
• Frequently forgoing productive tasks such as mopping the kitchen floor in favor of getting sucked into a bad TV movie or some other lazy procrastinator's distraction.
  
  
• Napping when the urge strikes.

I think I'll get going on that last one right now, actually. I reserve the right to add to this list as need be, and I encourage everyone else to grant themselves permission to do the same.

Happy New Year!