You know that scene in The Truman Show when the producers are trying to keep Truman from seeing the... guy? who's in that... building?... where... something is going on, and...
OK, so I haven't seen that movie in forever, and therefore the details are a little hazy, but I remember all sorts of complicated and carefully planned obstacles to thwart Jim Carrey's access to something or other... Cars veer out in front of him; women rush into the elevator and refuse to hold the door... Truman's onto them, however, because he heard the director's audio accidentally broadcast over his car radio, and he saw inside the fake elevator that's not actually equipped with any mechanism to go up or down, and he knows that something's up.
That's kind of how my commute feels some days. I'm just trying to get myself to work in time to avoid any disapproving glares from the few people who actually care what time I arrive, and yet, the world around me has other plans. Annoying drivers in enormous SUVs pull out into my lane and then proceed to go the exact same speed as the car beside them, boxing me out from any hope of passing. Elderly men in dark, wraparound glasses turn onto the street in front of me and then coast along at 10 mph below the speed limit. Every traffic light mysteriously turns red just as I approach. Families of ducks waddle slowly across my path. The UPS guy steps into the crosswalk with a teetering stack of packages. Two men lift a huge pane of glass from a truck and carry it across the street. You know--the usual. Just like in the movies. And all of these suspicious obstacles are orchestrated for one purpose only: to make. me. late.
OK, so it's really just the SUVs and the traffic lights (and occasionally, I guess, the elderly folk), and I'm sure there's no mastermind (or TV director) behind it. Clearly none of this would even be a concern if I could just drag my sorry self out of bed the first (or even the third) time my alarm goes off, therefore allowing more than three minutes of leeway in my routine.
It's really nothing new for me to momentarily entertain the possibility that the world revolves around me. To think my every move is being recorded for an always-on reality TV program, however? That's far-fetched even for my overactive imagination. I don't care how bad TV has gotten; no one would watch that show. It would be kind of fun to see what the editors would splice together to make it passable, however.
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5 comments:
As I was running to the bus stop this morning, I was thinking, "God, I hope no one is taping this." Sadly, that would be one of the most interesting parts of a reality show about me, I think.
If you're the star of that program, I've been given a disappointingly tiny role.
*gasp* I think the world revolves around me, too! I'm so glad I'm not the only self-centered freak on the planet.
I promise I didn't mean that as an insult. :)
I think if most of us weren't the teensiest bit self-centered, there would be no such thing as a blog.
And Red--why would you want a bit part in my reality show? Don't worry; I'm sure someone's taping you, too.
One of the hardest concepts for man to wrap his mind around is that there perhaps is more to everything to the universe than just himself. But with the everday basics of human life always reminding us that we are person #1, how could we ever step outside of ourselves long enough to know that the world doesn't revolve around any of us.
Even the bible puts things on a personal level: Jesus sacraficed himself for you, God loves you, and so on. Traffic lights, UPS men crossing the road aside, life is a jumbled mess for everyone. It's because of our failure to step outside of ourselves as individuals that we can't see the world as more than it is. The universe is bigger than us, but we'd never know it. (Hell, how can I even type that?)
But glad to hear that you did make it to work, despite the great director in the sky's attempt to prevent you from doing so.
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