Number five

OK, so it was one night later, but let's add it to yesterday's list anyway, all right?

We have a new girl at work, and she's a recent college graduate. This throws the demographics of the company off by a notable percentage, as it means there are now five people besides myself who are still under 40 instead of just four and that I am now one of six women in the office instead of only five. (I wasn't kidding when I said the company wasn't exactly diverse, after all.)

New Girl is single, as far as I know, but in my dream last night, we were all gathered around the conference room table, and she dropped the phrase, "my husband."

"You're married?" I asked. I'd had no idea. I hadn't noticed a diamond or band.

"Of course I am," she replied, a bit annoyed. "What did you think this was?" she scoffed.

I looked down at the clunky piece of jewelry she had plopped onto the table. "Ugly ring?" I thought. (Note, thought, but didn't say. Even in my dreams I can, miraculously, at least sometimes hold my tongue and not let slip exactly everything in my brain.)

The ring was large and boxy, not unlike the sleek onyx man-ring my dad acquired in the 70s or maybe like a boys' high school class ring. It may in fact have been some variation on a class ring, as, on its side were chiseled the words "Chippewa High School." The square center stone was smooth, green, and opaque, and set in the middle of it was a brown M&M. Yes, an M&M.

I suppose this means one of two things. Either I'm feeling noticeably and bothersomely older than today's brides, or I think getting married straight out of high school is ridiculous. I'm leaning towards the latter. Of course, I suppose it could also mean I'm all for incorporating candy into as many things as possible. That's maybe a better analysis, actually, I think. Let's go with that one, OK?