- A perfume search engine that would help me pick a scent based on the smells I like and the other perfumes I've liked in the past. Sounds simple enough, right? But wait. There's more. After I've found some promising results, I would like the site to be able to send me samples of my search results for a nominal fee, so I don't have to invest $60+ in a perfume I don't actually like nor go hunting all over town to try them out. Surely I cannot be the only person with this idea on my wish list. Has someone already invented it and forgotten to tell me?
- An above-car messaging system to allow me to communicate with nearby drivers. I am envisioning some sort of large lighted display with scrolling text, inputted by voice recognition, of course (reading while driving might be distracting enough; I'm surely not advocating driver-seat typing as well). This system could serve many purposes, from the obvious cursing and reprimanding bad behavior to some not-so-subtle flirting with the very attractive man in the next lane to helpful tips such as "Hey buddy; mind turning your blinker off?" or "Dude! Lights would be good here!" I suppose this system would likely just fuel road rage, but I can't help wanting it anyway. Instead, I have to simply hope that the jackass in the black pickup who tried to run me out of my lane on my way home last night (and then had the nerve to honk at me and flip me off when I didn't successfully make my car vaporize for him) actually reads my blog, because this is the only venue through which I can say to him, "Excuse me, sir, but would you like me to define the word YIELD for you?!? Because obviously you're not quite sure what it means!" Um, yes. Like I said. Rage. Maybe it's best not to pursue this idea after all.
- Health clubs that are powered by the energy generated from the people working out within the building. Seriously, if impoverished countries can install merry-go-rounds that pump clean water to a village through the power generated by the kids playing on it, and if a clever Brit can install plates in a road to capture kinetic energy from passing cars and use it to power nearby traffic signals and street lights, why can't we fuel a building using the people-power generated from a treadmill or elliptical inside? How awesome would that be? Al Gore would be so pleased. Come on, science! Let's get moving on this!
- A helpful and effective personal shopping service at a store I can actually afford. Sure, the ladies at Macy's or Nordstrom would be happy to help me figure out what a thirty-something who's averse to gauchos and formal shorts should be incorporating into her wardrobe for maximum style and versatility, but it's hard to mix and match when I can afford only one piece. I'm not suggesting a style guide service at Target or Old Navy, but... wait. Actually maybe I am. Hmm.
- And finally, just because I am having a ridiculous time maintaining any sort of willpower and sticking to any type of sensible eating plan, could someone please genetically engineer carrots and broccoli so that they taste like cookie dough and mashed potatoes? That'd be great. Thanks.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Five things someone really needs to invent (Alternate title: Where's my damn hover-car already?)
Some people are big-thinker types with genuinely genius ideas. I am not one of those people. Not usually, anyway. Here, however, are five things that I truly think this world needs... five things someone should invent, like, NOW.