Just in case you thought perhaps my ineptitude in the kitchen knew some bounds, you might be amused to know that I just Googled "How to dice a tomato."
I maintain that if dicing a tomato the right way (as opposed to the sloppy and obviously wrong way I've done it so many times before) were innate knowledge, then this page would not exist. This is how we learn, people. Surely there's no shame in that. Incidentally, the tutorial was quite helpful. I don't know why it never occurred to me to ask Google about this before.
Actually, it might not have occurred to me today either, had I not found this video on how to make the national cocktail of Brazil* so unexpectedly useful in learning how very wrong I've been cutting limes for drinks all these years.
The Internet is an amazing thing, my friends. Whatever did we do without it?
* The hard-to-spell Caipirinha, of which NancyPearlWannabe is a big fan.