Blacation had to get away

When one has been on blacation or bliatus for over a week, should she feel some sinking pressure to return with a truly entertaining, meaningful, or thought-provoking post--a post well worth waiting for? Or can she just toss a few haphazard tidbits and half-stories into a list and call it a Friday Five?

I think you all know which one I'm going with.

1. Although I do not always love my job or my office or the lengthier-than-I'd like commute to get there each day, I am reminded rather often just how much I appreciate working in a quaint little downtown, rather than a suburban office park. Not only do I have a lovely view of the tree-lined river bank from my second-story perch behind my desk, but I get to see all sorts of interesting life pass by on the street regularly. For example, one day last week, I saw a small, swarthy man stroll past strumming a guitar. I had no idea we had a town troubadour, but I very much love the idea. Today, I saw two men wheeling a video game machine through the lane of traffic while at least three cars waited patiently or impatiently behind. It was just like George Costanza and the Frogger game, although presumably with less tragic an ending.
   
   
2. My sister called me last night from a bar, wanting to know what it is called when congressmen attach a secondary piece of wholly unrelated legislation onto a sure-to-pass bill as a means of getting that additional thing pushed through. I don't know why she thought I would have this information (I was an English major, not a Political Science major, and unlike Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club, I did not get a fake ID at 16 so I could vote). I do remember an animated Walter Mondale coaching Lisa and Krusty to get the Springfield Air Traffic resolution passed by paperclipping it to another bill, but I don't remember Mondale telling us just what that's formally called. To my sister, however, I am apparently her own personal Wikipedia, on call at all times to answer whatever random questions she might have. It started with computer- and software-related queries, which made some amount of sense, given my line of work, but when she called me at work recently to ask what time period music scholars assign Bartok to, I knew she was simply expecting too much of me.
   
   
3. All sorts of science and engineering experts are still trying to figure out just why a crucial piece of Twin Cities freeway fell into the river a few weeks ago, and though we have no solid answers yet, they have told us that pigeon dung likely played at least some small part. Yes, you read that right. Poop. From pigeons. Caused (or, partially caused) a bridge to collapse. Good lord; I really don't know what's next.
   
   
4. I have often thought that I need to maintain some sort of database to track which of the frozen meals that I buy for work lunches are reasonably tasty and which ones I never ever want to make the mistake of purchasing again. Since I do not actually create databases, however, and since this is very likely one of those situations where the absolute simplest solution would probably suffice, I really should just keep a list in my purse for reference while shopping. If I ever DO manage to become organized enough to maintain such a list, the Weight Watchers SmartOnes Szechuan Chicken variety is going directly on the Do Not Buy side. This really isn't so much a story (or even a mini-story) as a warning. That was my most disappointing lunch in recent memory. And as an added bummer, I’m still hungry. Boo. Also, Amazon sells frozen meals now?? I am all for the convenience of online shopping, but that is a ridiculous line that I see no need whatsoever to cross. Who are these people who are too busy to buy their frozen meals in stores but not too busy to sit around and wait five days for standard shipping on them and to worry about receiving a temperature-sensitive package from UPS? I am baffled, but that is really nothing new, I suppose.
   
   
5. And finally, I'm reminded today of just how clueless and naive I sometimes still am, because GG sent me a dirty version of a Family Circus cartoon this afternoon, and although I am confident that this alternate version is undoubtedly much funnier than whatever the original version said (Family Circus, remember? Come on…), I still don't understand the punch line. Apparently I haven't seen enough prom* movies in my day. Maybe I should send the cartoon to Poppy. I’m sure she could explain it to me.
   
   * Codeword courtesy of Metalia.

And with that, I'm out of here for today. Happy weekend, all. Stay away from pigeon poop and mediocre Szechuan food and say hi to your local troubadour for me.