I want to say one word to you, son. Just one word. Plastics.

I know it's not Friday, but maybe I'll just start posting in five-point form every day. Noelle is doing it; why can't I?

1. Ever since I wrote about the ginormously popular Eat Pray Love, hands down the most popular search engine hits for my blog are Eat Pray Love quote-related. I thought maybe my stats were up just because I am awesome and therefore increasingly popular. Ha. Nope; people are just coming here looking for Richard from Texas's views on soul mates. At least the castration stories searchers haven't been showing up as often lately. Or, weren't, anyway. Really must stop mentioning that every time I notice that those freaks might be gone. In any case, one of the people Googling out Eat Pray Love information was a reporter from CNN, who wants to interview not me, but Noelle. I'm glad my blog can be a venue for someone else's fifteen minutes of fame. Didn't Christmas Christmas Tree already have hers, though?? Hrmph.
   
   (Incidentally, I promise I am not at all bitter about this, really. I am just amused that bloggers have routinely become sources for reporters. And I'll let Noelle tell you the rest of the story, should she so choose to, as it is of course her story to tell.)
   
   
   
2. I recently learned that absinthe is newly legal in the U.S., and I have decided that a theme party is most certainly in order as a response. I cannot wait to see all my friends in top hats and tent-like dresses, dissolving sugar on a spoon as they bemoan their tortured artist states. You want to come, don't you? I thought so.
   
   
3. I am finally (finally, finally) seeing Superbad tonight. I am pretty sure I might be the very last person on the Internet to do so. I feel entirely out of touch and behind the times. Maybe after the movie, I'll buy a pair of Crocs or try that new Crystal Pepsi everyone's talking about.
   
   
4. A few weeks ago, I found out that my office has a light bulb salesman. As in, we don't get our light bulbs from Sam's Club or from the office supply truck like all normal offices presumably do; we get them from a little old man in a suit and tie who comes here expressly for the purpose of ensuring our workspaces are well lit. I would have thought Door-to-Door Light Bulb Peddler was as unlikely a career as Sundial Repair Man or Donut Salesman, so frankly I'm somewhat astonished by this news. I finally saw the guy today, though, so I know that he is real. He's also about 87 years old and sort of awesome, however, and therefore I'm kind of thrilled by the idea that we're keeping the little man in business.
   
   
5. As long as I'm talking about That Place We Never Blog About, I have noticed something in the kitchen recently that's puzzling me no end. No, it is not the non-dairy creamer with the baffling logo again; it's the stack of plastic cups that's changing colors every night, like the magical dress at the end of Sleeping Beauty. I know that the cups are coming from a bag that's stored on the floor beside the water cooler. What I'm pondering is whether my tiny office is actually going through a stack of ten or more cups a day (in which case, hello, fellow employees; ever hear of re-using one?? Didn't Al Gore teach you anything about excessive plastic?) or if someone is just replacing the stack each day with a different one from the bag. One day, the stack is orange. The next, it's blue. Today, it was green. I applaud the effort to shake things up and keep things interesting, but can't we just have Pizza Day or something instead?