Tuesday, March 25, 2008

No zombies were harmed in the making of this post. Unfortunately, none were written about, either.

So have you all heard about this Choose Your Own Blogventure thing? It is the brainchild of the terribly clever NPW (Special Agent NPW to some), and I am supposed to be writing my portion of it right now. It shouldn't be terribly hard, of course, but at the moment I can't seem to decide just where to go from "imminent zombie attack," and hence, I am stalling a bit. (Yes. Zombie attack. Anyone want to take a wild, shot-in-the-dark guess as to whose story segment precedes mine? And also, have I revealed too much? Was that against the rules? I hope not.)

Meanwhile, I thought maybe I'd warm myself up for my first zombie story by writing about something equally frightening, but when I tried to think of scary things, all that came to mind immediately were the Nutrisystem meals that have been sitting in the kitchen at work for the past three weeks or more. I have no idea who attempted to donate them--who had the nerve to leave the saddest prepackaged meals I have ever seen in that altar-like spot on the counter normally reserved for proper willpower-tempting offerings such as donuts and leftover Christmas cookies. Whoever it was, though, should win some sort of prize. They've just blown apart my theory that people will eat anything if it's left in the office kitchen. Also, note to the Nutrisystem people: hire a photographer. A professional one, I mean. The worst of the worst packaged meals in the freezer case still look delicious in the photo labeled "Serving suggestion," and mad photo skillz and tricks of deception have everything to do with that. I suppose there's something to be said for truth in advertising, but personally, I'm used to reserving my disappointment over my lunch until after I've peeled back the plastic film.

Shifting gears to the equally trivial (and decidedly girly--boys, feel free to think about basketball or zombies for the next paragraph or so), do you know what I am not currently disappointed about? My new hair dryer. I have always been of the opinion that, within certain important parameters, a hair dryer is a hair dryer. I'm like a guy that way: simpler is better. Too many choices overwhelm me. It's not my fault I can't make a decision: present me with seventeen seemingly indistinguishable options and it's no wonder I feel my head might explode. Hence, my Saturday afternoon trip to Ulta to replace my recently deceased hair dryer was entirely more stressful than it probably should have been. I might actually be embarrassed to admit how long I stood in front of the veritable wall of hair dryers, carefully considering the differences between each one, had there not been two other women directly beside me presumably running the exact same inner monologue: This one's red and has a retractable cord, but I don't really like its shape... This one is only $17, but it's also hot pink with polka dots... What's the difference between "ceramic" and "ceramic tourmaline"?... Do I really need adjustable ion levels??

As it turns out, apparently I do need adjustable ion levels (and tourmaline technology, too), because my hair is suddenly softer and less static-prone than it's been at any time in recent memory. I have not switched any other products, and the weather is not decidedly different from the weather a week ago, so I can only assume I have my pretty new light blue Revlon Total Styler to thank. (It's obviously the "Total" part that sold me, by the way. No one wants to be only partially styled, after all.) So yay, Revlon Total Styler! Your "super-quiet, lightweight design" may not be any more silent or more wieldy than my rattly old dryer, but I am pleased with you anyway.

I have no idea why I just decided to bore the entire Internet (or, more realistically, my tiny corner of it) by talking about abandoned diet meals and hair dryer shopping, but apparently this is what happens when I've got not a lot going on. I could relay the content of the flurry of emails between Lara, NPW, Noelle, and me earlier today, but it's probably best that we reel in our anticipation about that blogger meetup until after we've discovered if we can all actually stand each other. Besides that, we mostly just trash-talked about board games anyway. That's right, people. A group of bloggers are getting together in a city most of them don't live in, and the thing we're most excited about is Boggle, Balderdash, and Bananagrams. I have said it before and I'll say it again: this is what I love about the Internet. I may be a huge nerd, but I am among friends. Kindred spirits abound. East coast, here I come. Well, here I come on Friday, anyway. Meanwhile, that zombie story isn't writing itself. Best get cracking.


Aaron said...

Ah, I'm sorry. I should have given you the "ignore the zombie and continue into the Store 24" option. Which, forgive me, NPW, if I gave away too much there.

Anyway, go wherever you want with it. I completely changed directions from NPW's beginning. I won't be offended. It's more fun that way, anyway.

Hooray for Friday Blogger Meet-Up! (Insert my board game trash talk here)

steve said...

Wow... I think that's one of the girliest posts you've had in awhile. NTTAWWT, of course.

Speaking of meeting up with cool people, Heather, Melba and I just saw Bob Mould this evening. Heather's just damn cool.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Yay blogger meet-up! Yay Balderdash! Yay east coast! I have no concerns that we will not all get along fabulously. Except for Aaron, of course, who will finally prove to be a pain in everyone's ass, not just mine.

I do love that he turned his story into a tale of zombies, however. How did I not see that coming?

3carnations said...

Hmm...I think (although obviously NPW is the authority on this one) that you were not supposed to reveal that. That way, if your story takes a completely different turn, those of us who follow know nothing about what preceeded. But I'm sure there was much more to it than zombies...,

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I don't really understand the choice thing either. My straightener has about 15 different temperature settings, I cranked it up the highest the day I bought it and the dial has never moved since.

Poppy Cede said...

I'm sorry, all I could read above was the word "zombie" and then I lost track of all words before and after. I have a one-track mind.

Well, maybe two if you count bacon.

Stefanie said...

Aaron--Oh, no worries. My procrastination actually probably had little to do with the zombie twist; I just like to find a scapegoat wherever I can.

Steve--Heather IS cool. And so is Bob Mould. Glad you all had fun. Also, I am not as big a nerd as I think I am, because I had to Google "NTTAWWT." Duh.

NPW--I'm not really too worried about that either. Seems highly unlikely at this point, right? As for Aaron... well, I guess we'll have to wait and see. :-)

3Cs--I think it'll be OK. There's more to it than a zombie, indeed. :-)

Dutchess--I had the same experience with an old curling iron (you know--back when I actually used a curling iron). Why do they even bother impressing us with features we don't need?

Poppy--Mmmm... Bacon.

-R- said...

What the heck is Bananagrams!

You already know you like Noelle, at least, so if nothing works out, you two can just go find a tiki bar and get wasted (on vegan drinks).

lizgwiz said...

I continue to be jealous of Blogger Bogglefest 2008.

I hardly ever use the hairdryer I have now (purchased solely because it was the cheapest one I could find that wasn't part of the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen collection), but maybe if I had one that incorporated ions and tourmaline, I would. Hmm...maybe that's what's been wrong with my life all along.

lizgwiz said...

I continue to be jealous of Blogger Bogglefest 2008.

I hardly ever use the hairdryer I have now (purchased solely because it was the cheapest one I could find that wasn't part of the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen collection), but maybe if I had one that incorporated ions and tourmaline, I would. Hmm...maybe that's what's been wrong with my life all along.

Lara said...

I really have to get cracking on our t-shirts. Should they read "Blogger Bogglefest 2008" or "Nerd Convention 2008"??? Hmm.

Actually, I completely appreciate your hair dryer recommendation, as I've been contemplating mine lately and the fact that i bought it when I was in junior high. It is probably a fire hazard or something by now.

Noelle said...

I do hope that I get to see a little bit of the Boston area, although it's sad that the board games excite me so.

I have a great hairdryer. It's called "blackbird" and it's currently held together with gaffer's tape, because they're going to have to peel it out of my cold dead hands. And THAT'S why it's no good for me to spend more than $35 on an appliance.

L Sass said...

I recently bought a new hairdryer and I love it! I guess I didn't realize how much the old one was fizzling out until I saw that the new dryer dried my hair in half the time!

New blowdryers for everyone!

Courtney said...

I'm so jealous of your blogger meet-up! Sounds like fun.

And what kind of hair dryer did you end up with? I have bad luck with mine.

Jess said...

I am so jealous of the blogger meetup! You will all adore each other, I'm sure. And I love all those board games. You are going to have such a good time.

Mickey said...

Courtney- Revlon Total Styler. Pay attention.

Steve saw Bob Mould and what he took away from it is that somebody named Heather is cool? If I saw Bob Mould I'm pretty sure I'd stay focused on Bob Mould. Rock.

Congrats on the hair dryer. From what I hear the real test will be longevity.

Beej said...

Holy Moly!

I didn't realize that you were coming to Blogger Fun Time too!

I will have to crush you in games. Or something.

Stefanie said...

R--I haven't played Bananagrams yet, but Noelle sounded very excited about it. Also, I am very curious how a vegan tiki drink would differ from a regular one. I think Noelle and I should make it our mission to find out.

Liz--Oh, if only adjustable ions and tourmaline were the answer to all of life's problems...

Lara--Junior high?? Seriously?? Man, they don't make those things like they used to.

Noelle--OK, I had to look that up (mainly because I was wondering if you named your hair dryer "Blackbird" or if it came with that name). Yours has 2000 watts?? I didn't even know they went higher than 1875! I have no idea what those extra 125 watts make a difference, but I am intrigued.

L Sass--My new dryer doesn't seem any faster, unfortunately. (Maybe if I cranked up the ions a little more??) :-)

Courtney--Mickey already answered this for me (which cracked me up, by the way), but to be more specific... this one (But not at that price, as it was on sale and I had a 20% off coupon as well. Whoo.)

Jess--I hope so! So far all the blogger meetups I've had (you know, all four of them) have been great, so why should this be any different, right?

Mickey--I'm pretty sure Steve was excited about Bob Mould, too. I think that was just his way of letting us all know Nabbalicious is alive and well, even if she's not blogging anymore. (Dang. I guess I should probably retire her from my sidebar...)

Beej--Holy moly! I will indeed be there! Do you play Balderdash? If not, you will.