Monday, March 10, 2008

Why I love the Internet, Reason #437

Last Wednesday it snowed, which was particularly inconvenient for the hundreds of people stuck at a standstill on I-94 because a semi-truck in Minnesota couldn't handle two inches of snow on the road five months into the winter season and decided to jack-knife or tip over or some such thing. It was perhaps just a wee bit less inconvenient for people like me, who simply had to find time to shovel their sidewalk, pack up their stuff, and grab a very quick dinner in the approximately 30 minutes between getting home from work and rushing off to quilting class.

Because every minute counts on rushed nights like that, I didn't bother taking off my boots when I ran into my house to grab a hat before shoveling. Instead I did what I often do: I decided to put each foot inside a Target bag so I could traipse through my house without mucking up my floors and carpeting with dirty wet snow. The only problem was I didn't have two empty Target bags within easy reach of my kitchen door. I did have one bag, however. So naturally I did the only illogical thing: I stepped both feet into that one Target bag and tried to shuffle and hop my way to the wicker cabinet in my living room entryway where my hats and mittens are stored.

I made it about halfway to my living room before I shuffled in an awkward way that left no give in the bag for my foot to land and found myself square on my ass in my hallway, narrowly missing colliding my head directly with a very hard and somewhat pointy piece of cabinetry.

All this because I was too damn lazy to take off my boots or to wipe a few snowy wet spots from my floors.

What does this story have to do with the Internet and why I love the kindred spirits who live inside it? This. My first thought, after I took the ridiculous spill on the edge of my kitchen, was, "Should I blog about that?" But by the time I got home from quilting I had already forgotten about it, and it seemed entirely too absurd a thing to admit to the world outside my kitchen anyway, so I let it go. Until I read about Abbersnail's similar moment of grace and realized I am not alone. Thank you, Abbers. You rock eight ways to Sunday (whatever that actually means).

Know why else I love the Internet? Where else can you find a t-shirt that says "I love the (Eighteen) Eighties" quite like this one does?

I love the Eighteen 80s

Olde-Timey Lloyd is now on his way to my little sister's house in honor of her birthday later this week (four days before my birthday, in case anyone's counting). I wonder if that's Peter Gabriel blaring from that Victrola or if Yester-Lloyd's wooing Diane with a little Gilbert and Sullivan instead.


abbersnail said...

Awww, thanks! And I'm glad that my moment of "grace" reminded you and any other wayward souls that you aren't alone. ;-)

nancypearlwannabe said...

Wait, is this in addition to falling on your hip the other day? Or was that a separate incident? You almost make me wish I posted about that time I fell UP four stairs, or the time I slid down my driveway while clutching a potted plant.

Pam said...

Fantastic story. I feel empowered to write about my most recent clumsy moment, which might have resulted in a broken toe. You inspire me!

Poppy Cede said...

As soon as you said Target bags I knew where this story was going.

You need to stop hurting yourself in your house. Please.

Lara said...

I am giggling at the thought of you putting target bags on your feet. In my mind, that is more of a pain than taking off the boots! (Then again, my snow boots zip up, which makes it very easy.) Okay, fine, I'm also giggling at the image of you falling. ;)

L Sass said...

OMG, that story is so amazing!

I totally bit it on the sidewalk last Friday. I know it's suppose to be, like, a heartwarming NYC moment when 57 onlookers try to help you up... but when you've fallen on your ass in public? You kind of want to be ignored.

-R- said...

I love the t-shirt!

I just run through my house with the boots on. I guess if they are wet I run the risk of slipping and falling, but two feet in one Target bag? Stefanie, you crack me up.

lizgwiz said...

Yes, I think the very best thing about the blogosphere is realizing that I'm not the only embarrassingly clumsy person in the world. Thanks, interwebs!

Remind me of the precise date of your nativity, please?

Erikka said...

imaging these two episodes is making me chuckle...out loud...

Stefanie said...

Abbersnail--Indeed. The Internet reminds me of this regularly, and I love it.

NPW--The falling on my hip was a separate incident. That one was in public, unfortunately, but at least it was a more understandable fall--a deceptively slippery sidewalk outside a parking ramp.

Pam--Oof. You just reminded me about how I maybe broke my toe in my basement a few months ago. Man, I really AM a klutz.

Poppy--I'll try. But I can't promise anything.

Lara--Nonsense. Slipping Target bags on takes only a second. It helps if you actually have TWO of them, though.

L Sass--I know what you mean. I remember twisting my ankle going up the steps to the Humanities building one day back in college, and I tried so hard to hobble off saying, "No no, I'm fine, really" just because I wanted people to stop looking at me. Man that hurt, though.

R--I know. Two feet in one Target bag was just a plain bad idea. Lesson learned.

Liz--March 18 (1974, since you asked for the "precise date of nativity") :-)

Stefanie said...

Erikka--Sorry; didn't mean to ignore you. We were just typing at the same time. :-) Anyway, glad my ridiculousness (and Abbersnail's) could amuse.

Courtney said...

That's an awesome T-shirt. I may have to purchase that.

And happy early birthday, lest I forget later. It's entirely possible.

Noelle said...

I think that's why I like you so much, both for the story and the tee shirt.

Anonymous said...

We're not the only ones! That's good to know.

Aaron said...

Ah, Stefanie (Says); your blog never fails to amuse. Thank you for entertaining me with your story of near injury/death. How embarrassing would that have been?

Jess said...

The reason that I love the Internet is that now I have an amazing mental image of you lying on the floor of your house with your feet in a Target bag. Thanks for sharing.

Stefanie said...

Courtney--It's entirely understandable. Although, knowing me, I will remind all of you at least seven times between now and then, because if I have to turn 34, I at least think I should be able to milk some attention from it. ;-)

Noelle--And I like you for liking that. (OK, I like you for lots of other reasons, too.)

Srah--Agh! I love it! I love that I am not the only one who does this. Tell me, though. Have you ever worn the McN*tt slipper OUTSIDE your house? You know... maybe because you didn't realize how much it had snowed and didn't feel like putting on boots (or you don't own boots that shut out the snow up to mid-calf)? Um, not that *I've* ever done that, of course... Target bags on my feet from my house to my car? Just to keep my socks and pant legs dry? Surely no. (OK, maybe once. Or twice. Whatever. Don't judge me.)

On a related note, I saw these in a catalog I received the other day. My first thought was, "What a good idea!" My second thought was, "But why would I need to pay $19.95 when my Target bag plan works just fine?

Aaron--You're welcome. And yes--rather embarrassing. Thank goodness it didn't end more tragically.

Jess--I didn't even see it from an onlooker's perspective, and even I realize it's a ridiculous image. You're welcome.

metalia said...

That shirt I'm speechless. Such is the power of its awesomeness.