- "Exactly how self-conscious do you have to be to put your sports bra on over your regular bra and then pry your underwire out from beneath it? I mean, yeah, I'm not so crazy about whipping my girls out in semi-public, either, but you're just making things unnecessarily difficult for yourself, and life's hard enough as it is."
- "Just because you're a child does not mean you are cute and precious and I will smile at you. See that little girl over there? She is cute and precious, wearing her pink tutu over her pajama pants and quietly eating a sandwich. You, on the other hand, with your screaming and staring and running around the locker room, are just an insufferable brat. I feel it's time someone told you that."
- "This is my dance space; this is your dance space. I don't go into yours; you don't go into mine. In other words, if you don't get to class early enough to snag an inconspicuous back-row spot, you're just going to have to suck it up and go to the front, not place your step two inches from mine and crowd right in."
- "Well now. I'm not crazy about going back to work with what I refer to as 'health club hair' either, but that certainly is a unique way of addressing the problem. Do you wear the perfectly coifed red wig all the time, or solely post-workout?"
- "Wasn't this the song that Bart, Nelson, Ralph, and Milhouse sang in that episode where they joined a boy band? You know, the one that turned out to be a subliminal Navy recruitment ad? No? Well, it sure sounds like it."
I'm off to the wilderness for the weekend (and by "wilderness," I mean a fairly well-outfitted state park only minutes outside of the metropolitan area, but whatever). I'm still taking questions if you feel like sending them, but I won't be posting answers until I get back. Have a great weekend, everyone.