Thursday, August 31, 2006

Friday Five*: Deep-Fried and on a Stick

The State Fair is in full swing now, which has me unjustifiably annoyed for several reasons. First, it means that summer is essentially over. Excuse me, but how is this possible; how did this happen? I know I have no one but myself to blame, but I have not done nearly enough fun summer stuff for it to be Labor Day already. I'm sorry, September, but you're just going to have to wait a while; I'm not quite ready for you yet. Second, the dumb Fair is the reason I was ten minutes late to my haircut appointment tonight and the reason it took me over 20 minutes to drive the two miles from the salon to the SuperTarget shortly thereafter. Three-fourths of the State Fair Park & Ride locations are within a one-mile radius of each other in Roseville, and naturally, that's the area I was dumb enough to drive straight into, because I underestimated the draw of a deep-fried Pronto-Pup.**

I typically feel compelled to visit the Fair only once every four years or so. Since I was there two years ago (and actually went the year before that as well), I figured I was set for at least another half-decade. My friend Amy twisted my arm the other day, however, so I found myself agreeing to brave the crowds and the calories and head to the Fair tomorrow night.

I've never actually experienced the Fair at night before. For me, it's always been a daytime event. I expect that the Fair after dark will offer a whole different breed of freaks and weirdos and a whole new set of inappropriate wardrobe choices to observe. Frankly, despite my initial reticence, I can't wait. I imagine the Fair at night also involves fewer strollers and small children around which to navigate, so really, the pluses just keep adding up. Besides that, I missed Grand Old Day this year, so I've yet to have the requisite summer corn dog or cheese curds, and really that is something I need to remedy before the leaves start falling. When I consider all of this, it's pretty clear Amy is doing me a favor and a service by dragging me there.

With all of this in mind (and because little else is on my mind***), I present you with a preview of my anticipated activities for the kickoff to this holiday weekend...

Five things I plan to do at the State Fair tomorrow night:

  1. Eat a corn dog. This is a no-brainer, frankly. You have no idea how lame I will feel and how disappointed in myself I'll be if I somehow fail to scratch this off the list.

  2. Eat a cheese curd. Or, more likely, several cheese curds. We shall see.

  3. See the taping of this week's Prairie Home Companion. This may or may not happen, but a few minutes ago I found out that we have possible access to some free tickets, offered up by a magical boy with seemingly all sorts of inexplicable connections, useful talents, and remarkable charms. This boy has already gone on a date with two of my friends, but seriously, I think we may need to keep passing him around until it finally "sticks" with one of us, because someone needs to date this guy and keep him in our social circle.

  4. Check out the Freak Show. Yes, that's right; we've got a good old-fashioned Freak Show at the Fair this year, for the first time in nearly two decades. Gotta love any abrupt and offensive nod back to the simpler times when political correctness didn't get in the way of pointing and staring at a 500-pound lady, a lizard-boy with scales and a forked tongue, or a full-grown set of conjoined twins. I'm not promising I'll pay a hefty admission fee to actually enter what is surely just a trailer full of disappointing so-called delights, but I do intend at least to check out the presumably enthusiastic signage right outside.

  5. Eat whatever deep-fried dessert thing is being advertised most ardently this year. For whatever reason, I never did try the deep-fried Twinkies, Oreos, or Mars bars I heard so much about in years past, and this might be the time to remedy that. Is there a problem with having three food-related things on this list one week before I have to squeeze like a sausage into my bridesmaid's dress? Fine, then. Scratch the deep-fried dessert. Maybe I'll look at the Princess Kay butter sculpture instead. Only in Minnesota, folks. Don't you wish you were here?

* Oh, I know I am posting this on Thursday, but just pretend you didn't notice that, OK?

** I knew there'd be an entry for that. Sweet Jesus, I love Wikipedia.

*** Little else except how cute my hair looks right now and how I wanted to take the tiny stylist home in my pocket with me because I'll never get it to look this good again on my own.


-R- said...

I have heard of the Princess Kay butter sculpture, but who is she?

I have not been to the State Fair in the 2 years I've lived here. Based on who was waiting for the State Fair bus last Friday night, here is who I think will be at the Fair with you: girls wearing cowboy hats, tight shirts, and mini-skirts that barely cover their rear ends. (I think there was a country music concert.) All the men on my bus were staring pervily.

Free PHC tickets? You definitely need to keep that guy around!

stefanie said...

R--Wikipedia's on it again: Princess Kay of the Milky Way. I love how the criteria for judging includes "general knowledge of the dairy industry" and "enthusiasm for dairy promotion."

Per the magic boy--I know, right? This is what I'm saying.

Stinkypaw said...

Corn dog is a must! And I'd say you must try the deep fried Mars bar! No matter what you will check out a freak show, since you are going to the fair!

Have a blast and one of you gals need to keep that magical boy around, made he'll work his "magic" on you? ;-)

beingmccrary said...

I'm just jealous you live by a Super Target. ugh.

Darren McLikeshimself said...

I've never been to a state fair, but that sounds kind of fun.

stefanie said...

Spaw--Corn dog? Check. Deep-fried candy bar? Check. And I thought the same thing about the freak show: it's ALWAYS a freak show there, organized as such or not.

BMC--I live near TWO of them, actually, and pass several more in other neighborhoods on a daily basis. Target's based here, after all. They have to make themselves entirely readily available.

Darren--It was!

3carnations said...

Is a State Fair much different than a county fair? We pondered going to our state fair this year, but it would have been an overnight event due to distance. It would be disappointing if it were just the same size as the local one...

Fried dough and lemonade are my "must haves" at a fair.