Case in point--here are a list of things I have paused upon recently and yet done nothing whatsoever about:
- The window that I broke when I flipped it inward for cleaning last fall (now that's a fine reward for actually cleaning something when necessary...), which I now need to prop with a block of wood when I want to let fresh air into my room. This is particularly notable given my fear of windows slamming shut on my arms, and yet, have I called a handyman (or woman) with window expertise to attend to the matter? No.
- The large, spreading cracks across the foundation of my garage. The home inspector I hired before I bought this house assured me that "Oh, that's nothing to be worried about," but each year, the concrete on each side of the cracks shifts a bit, making it more uneven and likely more structurally unsound. Since I do quite often have an overactive and paranoid imagination, I have considered the possibility that my garage was built on the Hellmouth and the demons of the underworld are trying to free themselves through its floor. More likely, of course, it's the ants, but still, I should probably have a professional present my options.
- My inability to fully turn off my water main without a bit of water still trickling out through each tap. This is really a problem primarily just because it's prevented me from installing the lovely silver replacement faucet I spent approximately 70 hard-earned dollars* on damn-nearly a full year ago, but I suppose in the event of a gushing-water sort of emergency, the lack of a proper shutoff valve would present other very real issues as well.
I could go on and on with home-ownership woes, but since my laziness covers all aspects of life, I should really move over to other aspects...
- The fact that, every Monday through Friday morning, I pull into my office's parking lot and say, "I really don't want to be here," and yet, the comfort and security of the familiar daily routine (and the fact that I would rather read blogs and watch bad TV than polish my resume or write cover letters) prevents me from remedying the situation in any way.**
- The way that I dread making a haircut appointment because I know it means uncomfortable small-talk with a not-very-interesting young woman who was likely trading Pogs and Pokemon cards when I graduated from high school, and yet, have I done anything about finding a new salon to which I would relish going? No.
- Dialup. Land line. Are these things that I should banish from my home? Survey says yes, and yet, I'm hesitant to reassess and shift all my home services.
- That maid-of-honor speech I have to give less than a month from today. I really don't want to pull a drunken Lorelei and slur a weepy "Know when I'm not getting married? June 3!"*** and yet--if I don't come up with something soon, who knows what will spill out of my mouth on the big day.
On the upside, I did finally make the call and set an appointment to have my dress for said wedding fitted, which means that the bust area won't be a gaping target for a game of pop-a-shot at the reception.**** And on the home-ownership front--remember this? Well, all I have to say is, two bags down, six to go. How'd I do it? That's another post entirely, and a not very impressive one at that. So never mind.
* OK, just as likely they were 70 dollars not-so-hard-earned but in fact earned while surfing the Internet or sending e-mails to my friends, but still, the point is there.
** This is the sort of comment Thou Shalt Not Publish on the Internet, but is exactly the sort of thing one needs to get out every now and then nonetheless.
*** I was thinking how entirely lame it is to plant a Gilmore Girls reference in two posts in a row, and then I remembered that my little sister actually emailed me on June 3 to tell me that she remembered it was supposed to be Lorelei's wedding day, and I realized I really could be much, much worse.
**** Ironic, considering I'm actually a pretty busty gal. Clearly bridesmaids dresses are the one item of clothing where they give extra leeway to fit all sizes. If only jeans lengths would similarly accommodate the upper range.