Monday, April 07, 2008

I'm not as funny as I think I am

Apparently in some future life I intend to be a pioneer woman. I've not yet finished hand-stitching the binding on my quilt and already I'm in another crafty grandmotherly class. This time I'm learning to knit socks--something I've not yet attempted in all of my knitting thus far. (Note: Those photos do not represent all of my knitting. They represent only the knitting that I've completed since I bought a digital camera and that I was able to find on my hard drive the day I uploaded that album. I don't know why I feel compelled to clarify this, but obviously being generous with the details is my thing, so it shouldn't really surprise either of us, should it?)

ANYWAY... So I'm taking a sock knitting class. And it's not at all a grandmotherly sock knitting class; it's a pretty hipster-heavy group and it takes place in a very hipster-friendly shop. I wasn't at a Quaker knitting bee; I wasn't in a church basement with a group of mild-mannered lady parishioners. Know your audience, right? And that's why I'm still surprised this joke went so awry.

Instructor: My dad can knit two mittens at the same time, one inside the other. I'm pretty sure he's the only person who can do that.

Me: Your dad knits? Wow. My dad reads the paper and drinks. I suppose we all have our hobbies.


Crickets. Slight nervous laughter.

Seriously, people? Nothing?

Tough crowd.

15 comments:

Aaron said...

Answer: A knitting group is a knitting group, no matter how "hip". Save your comedy for those of us who appreciate it.

Noelle said...

Thanks for bringing the comedy here, you'll have to accept my virtual laughter. Maybe next time you should just bring in cute pictures of someone's cat or grandkids.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Hipsters are an odd bunch- it's very unhip to laugh, unless it's at other people's fashion choices or dance moves. Thankfully, you have us to laugh at your witticisms!

Also, do you take commissions? Because I love that red blanket. A lot.

3carnations said...

I thought it was funny. Apparently it was a "Born into knitting class". If your whole family didn't sit around knitting together, you just don't get it. :)

-R- said...

I don't think I even know any hipsters, unless you are one. Are you?

My jokes fall flat all the time, but my audience is usually uptight lawyers.

Mickey said...

Oddly, that joke probably would have killed in the church basement, 'cause while they're knitting away and planning the next potluck supper, their husbands are at home playing poker and getting wasted. Those ladies are looking for a reason to laugh at alcoholism. It makes it hurt less.

What? I don't know what I'm talking about.

Pam said...

Hmm I posted a comment this morning but it didn't take. Maybe it wasn't funny enough for a hip knitster like you?

Speaking for the knitters out there, knitting can be hip. Knitting classes - hip. Knitting groups - not so hip. Then again, I haven't mastered talking & knitting at the same time.

And I totally laughed at your joke.

Yay for sock knitting! Can't wait to see your progress!

Jess said...

Knitting is totally cool now. And so was your joke! Those losers are just clueless.

Courtney said...

I'd have laughed at that! I guess knitters just don't appreciate good comedy.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

It cracked me up if that is any consolation!

L Sass said...

Hey my dad reads the paper and drinks, too! They must have so much in common!

Lara said...

Okay, seriously, that is hilarious. Obviously, the people in your class are lame.

Stefanie said...

Thanks, all. I'm glad somebody thought that was funny.

NPW--I don't know if you're serious or not, but if my friends ever quit getting married and knocked up (so I can stop knitting wedding and baby presents), we'll talk. :-)

R--No, I am not a hipster, but I know enough of them to speak their language (or so I thought).

Pam--My blog ate your comment? I do apologize. And knitting and talking has ended in temporary disaster for me more than once as well.

L Sass--Yeah, but MY dad isn't an Excel whiz. :-)

Whiskeymarie said...

Next time, bring wine. That should loosen those "hipsters" up a bit.

don't call me MA'AM said...

That is a tough crowd. I laughed out loud just reading it.

Maybe they were just concentrating really hard on their knitting and therefore missed the true impact of the joke.

Or maybe they're all recovering alcoholics who decided, "Man! AA sucks! Let's try knitting instead."