Monday, April 28, 2008

Oh good! More complaining. And also, a riddle. Yay.

I fear I have hit a bit of a bump in this new healthy living plan of mine. Last night, I had planned to make a Spicy Shrink Yer Butt Salad* for dinner, but instead was so hungry (and OK, lazy) that I made and ate the better part of a Freschetta pizza instead. By "better part" I mean not that there was a good part and a bad part and I ate the more favorable one. No, I mean that I cut that full-sized pizza into eight slices and I ate six of them. SIX. On the plus side, it was a Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza. Pineapple counts as fruit, right? Even if it's just in tiny, tiny shards atop a bed of melted cheese? I thought so.

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* Response from my amateur chef friend when I shared this link with her? "Ha. I make salads like that all the time. Seems hard to believe that anyone would need a recipe for that!" (Response from me if said chef weren't one of my closest friends? "Bite me. We can't all be Martha, you know.")
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Moreover, thanks to last week's death cold, I have not been to the gym in over a week. And I was doing so well, too! The post-it in my Outlook Notes component showed I was easily on my way to another 17-visit month. Alas, it will have to be a measly 9 to 12 as per usual instead.

So I have not done any sort of proper exercise lately--that is, unless coughing and blowing my nose counts as an abdominal workout. (You laugh, but -R- threw her back out during a coughing fit, so obviously either being sick involves more physical exertion than you remember or we are both shamefully old and feeble. If you are going to vote for the latter, I really don't need to hear from you, thanks.) Despite my having done no proper exercise, however, every part of my body hurts today. Why? Because I spent the day yesterday turning this...

Before

...into this.

After

All right, so obviously not all of that happened yesterday. I have been whining and bragging about this basement project for months. The majority of the carpet part happened yesterday, though, and it was entirely more strenuous than the "just peel and stick" instructions would have you believe. Clearly laying carpet tile is a valid physical activity worthy of being featured on one of those "Do" billboards I'm seeing all over the place. I had no idea spending six hours laying carpet tile would make every muscle in my body cry, "I'm here! Did you forget about me? HERE I AM, friend!"? People, it hurts to drive. Even the most brutal kickboxing or yoga class doesn't leave my palms too bruised to grab the steering wheel. I wasn't really shooting for stronger palms, but I say sore body = exercise. And a six-hour workout more than justifies six slices of pizza. See how nicely I rationalized that?

By the way, I know you're beyond jealous of that couch. You're wishing YOUR house had come with one of those. Strangely, it almost sort of matches the new color scheme, but I'll be covering it with a slip cover soon anyway. I've decided that if nothing has crawled out of that couch in the four years I've lived here, it's probably safe to use, but I still don't want to rest my head directly on the ancient "who knows what's been here" fabric.

On an entirely different note, here's a puzzle for you. When you decide a late-night cup of herbal tea might be nice, but the Sleepytime tea in your cupboard says it was best before August of 2002, what do you do? The correct answer, of course, is to drink the free sample bag of Tazo resting against the Sleepytime box, which you are sure has been around for just as long, but which conveniently bears no expiration date. Denial is a handy tool, my friends. Words to live by, I say.

23 comments:

Megan said...

Very impressive. You come by your sore muscles honestly.

Aaron said...

Denial has brought me this far; I don't see why I need to stop.

Seriously, though, goddamn on the basement project. And I concur: The fact that you feel so achy and sore now more than justifies your pizza consumption (in my book, anyway). Because, you know, everyone lives for my approval.

Poppy Cede said...

Great job on the basement!

I made Teriyaki sesame tofu and fried rice for dinner.

Tofu cooked in oil.
Fried rice with a fried egg and a total of 3 T butter.

So, yup, you're healthier than I.

Melliferous Pants said...

I've thrown my back out sneezing - but I also had back surgery at 30 which solidifies my premature geriatric status. Yes!

Also, I think you couch rocks.

bleeding espresso said...

Go you on that basement! Woohoo! Although sorry about the pain.

As for the tea, my mom is the best about such things...she, a nurse, assures me that those dates only mean that after that, the stuff (whatever the stuff is) loses its oomph--it's not like it'll kill you (unless you see things growing of course).

Yes, she's very practical, my mom.

Jess said...

Woah--that couch....reminds me...of my days...as a child in the early 70's. Holy cow. The sick thing is that there are people who would pay a hefty chunk to have that couch in their house--the retro look is back.

Oy, I'm still reeling from the shock of it LOL.

But nice job on the renovation there :)

nancypearlwannabe said...

Did you know the Sleepytime Tea is the most widely sold herbal tea in the United States? And that while Celestial Seasonings sells a box for $2.49, grocery stores mark it up to $5.00 in some places? And that I recently sat with the Sleepytime Bear in his home town of Boulder, CO, and had this conversation?

3carnations said...

Way to go on the basement project. How do you like the carpet squares? We have a small room that might be able to use something like that.

Also, certainly if it has no expiration date, it is good forever. :-)

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I cracked a rib once from a coughing fit, so being sick really does cause physical injury.

Also, that basement face lift looks amazing. Good job. I'm highly impressed!

One Smart Cookie said...

I am impressed with your carpet tile prowess.

Also, the tea said it was BEST before August of 2002, which means that it is probably Pretty Good now. And Pretty Good is usually good enough for me.

Although, I did recently throw out a bottle of Advil that expired in 2003, so what the heck do I know?

lizgwiz said...

I'm of the opinion that most of those "best by" dates are just a marketing ploy to get you to throw it out and buy new stuff. Who needs "best," anyway? I'll settle for "won't kill me." ;)

Courtney said...

That is one good-looking basement! You totally earned those six slices.

Noelle said...

I have tea in my cupboard that moved with me from NYC 3 years ago, so yeah, you're still good.

Also, I have this image of you taking all the stuff from the first picture, and moving it under the couch, making an insta-clean basement in the next picture. Or not.

I spent the weekend gardening, and I'm totally sore from kicking myself for not taking a "before" picture like you did. Also, from all that dam hoeing.

-R- said...

I really like the green paint. You did a great job with the basement!

Lara said...

I am SO impressed, Stefanie!!! I should have put you to work when you were visiting.

L Sass said...

Wow, that looks like a LOT of work! Good job... and the couch is HOTT. Very stylish!

togethertheycome said...

Even if you weren't sore, I'd still tell you eating the pizza (with a bottle of wine) was fine as a reward for doing such a fine job on the basement! Looks glorious!

Also, I'm now hungry for that salad and want to make it.

Jess said...

You forgot to point out that Canadian bacon is much better for you than regular bacon, so the pizza was EVEN HEALTHIER.

Stefanie said...

Megan--See? I AM like a pioneer woman. Or... not.

Aaron--You are an enabler, and I thank you for it, my friend.

Poppy--See, I heard "Teriyaki sesame tofu and fried rice" and immediately thought your dinner was way healthier than mine. Seems wrong that anything involving tofu or rice should ever be bad for you.

Pants--You know, I almost sold that couch on Craig's List once. I marketed it as having retro charm. Two girls were ready to buy it and then bailed at the last minute. Oh well. It's grown on me, I guess.

Sognatrice--That's what my ex-boyfriend used to say, too... that expiration dates were just a *suggestion* and are primarily printed just to prevent law suits. Then I tried to make a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese that had expired a year prior. Word to the wise: do NOT try that. Oddly enough, artificial cheese powder DOES expire. Who knew?

Jess--Yeah, my grandma's couch was actually pretty similar. I guess someday my solid purple couch will look just as dated.

NPW--I did NOT know any of that, but when I mentioned Celestial Seasonings, I KNEW you would have some newly gained tea trivia to share! :-)

3Cs--Do you have a Menard's where you are? Theirs was the only carpet tile I found that was cost-effective for a large area. (Most carpet tile--Flor, for instance--is actually way more expensive per square foot than regular carpet is... I suppose you're paying for the simplicity and convenience or something.) Anyway, if it's a small room, maybe this isn't a concern. I haven't had it in there long enough to tell you how it wears, but so far I'm happy with a fully carpeted ~400 sq. ft. space for under $400.

Dutchess--Thanks! And I'm glad to know -R- and I aren't the only ones to overexert ourselves while coughing!

Cookie--That's sort of what I thought, too. But then, I don't even really genuinely like Sleepytime that much even when it's fresh. Is six years past its "best" date really worth drinking.

Liz--Another good point. Glad I'm not the only one to shrug and say, "Eh; I'm sure it's still fine" at past expiration dates.

Courtney--Thanks! Again, another enabler. Yay!

Noelle--Actually, I moved most of the stuff to the furnace/laundry room. But I promise, I have gotten rid of or organized everything since. My toolbox closes for the first time in three years. Yay! I am entirely more excited about that than I should be.

R--Thanks. I have to credit my friend Carrie for help with the color choices (particularly since she's the friend I said could bite me earlier in this post).

Lara--Put me to work in YOUR basement? No thanks. ;-) (It looks SCARY down there!)

L Sass--It WAS a lot of work, dammit. Glad it looks like it. :-)

Stacey--I'm glad I made you hungry for the salad and not the pizza. (But then, you're eating for two. You have totally earned pizza as well.)

Jess--It is? I didn't even know that. You're just full of helpful tips! :-)

Mickey said...

Six slices + laying carpet = you've earned those last two slices. And some ice cream.

3carnations said...

We do have Menards. I'll have to check it out...Although not anytime soon, because there are probably eight million projects that have higher priority right now...

Whiskeymarie said...

I get sore gardening, so I consider it a workout. You get workout points for home-improvement projects too. And I'm pretty sure that pizza and beer/wine are required after any home project completion- I checked the rule book and it's in there.
Trust me.

Swistle said...

Do you know, I actually AM kind of envious of that couch!