Tuesday, October 14, 2008

If I could just get a paid endorsement from NBC for this post, maybe I could afford even MORE shoes!

At the risk of being that girl who quotes lines from a TV show even when that TV show has been off the air for nearly half a decade, I have a Friends reference for you. Oh, who am I kidding? I am totally that girl. And I maintain that there is an appropriate Friends reference for nearly every situation in life, so I'm not even going to feel lame about this.

Anyway, do you remember the episode where Phoebe decided to play the field and date two men at once? One was a fireman whom she liked because he was strong and burly, and the other was a school teacher who was all sensitive and gentle. And she couldn't decide between the two of them, particularly because they both just kept getting better and better (the fireman actually wrote poetry, and the teacher... oh, I don't remember anymore). But then eventually, the two guys found out about each other and it all blew up in her face?

I am totally just like Phoebe right now. Well, except that the two men in question actually do the same thing for a living (and neither is a fireman or a teacher). Oh, and that neither one is particularly buff and burly nor endearingly sensitive and arty. And neither really has me at all excited enough to rave about him, so I'm more in "trying to keep an open mind and not run away immediately like I usually do" mode than "how long can I pull this off?" mode. Also, neither has found out about the other yet, and I'm not sure either one would even particularly care (or have any right to care) if they did.

So actually I guess I'm nothing like Phoebe at all, save for the fact that I am dating two men and I don't know how long I can (or want to) keep doing so. Television is obviously JUST LIKE REAL LIFE, however, so what I really want to know is how Phoebe had TIME to date two men, while still going to work and playing guitar and hanging out at the coffee shop for three hours every day. I mean, I can skip the guitar and the coffee shop parts, but when am I supposed to get my blog time in? How am I supposed to (finally) finish that damn still-overdue third Twilight book? This is seriously cutting into my very important sitting-around time. I remember now one more reason I hate dating. Even when you're temporarily past that phase of fielding mundane, small-talky emails from multiple date candidates at once, the actual dating part takes too damn much time.

In other news, I did decide on a pair of red shoes. Thank you all for your very serious input on that. I went with Pair #1, which I was leaning towards from the start. Unfortunately, every online review I read was correct and there is something wrong with the workmanship of that shoe, because just as those reviewers reported, the soles on both of my brand-new red shoes were peeling away from the shoe within a mere three hours of wear. It's nothing a little shoe glue won't fix, but it's annoying nonetheless. Hence, I have taken a cue from Lara and fired off an email to the vice president of Steve Madden shoes (or rather, to whichever assistant to the vice president answers mail at the supposed V.P.'s address posted on their web site). If I'm lucky, perhaps he will send me a heartfelt apology and a coupon for some large percentage off another pair of cute but poorly constructed shoes. Fingers crossed.

Because one new pair of shoes clearly wasn't enough, I also bought a pair of brown flats, a pair of mary janes, and a new pair of brown boots, all in the same week. Apparently I've suddenly decided to pretend I have copious amounts of expendable income. (Disclaimer/Clarification: I do NOT.)

Perhaps I am just doing my own small part to keep the Global Financial System from crumbling. What's that? Oh. Perhaps you haven't heard about that. Apparently the world economy is in a state of ruin. Here's a tip from my friend Plump: Start stocking up on Beanie Babies now.

I thought perhaps I would give you a virtual fashion show of my new possibly economy-stabilizing purchases, but unfortunately I am nowhere near my camera nor its related photo uploading software (or, for that matter, the actual shoes in question to be photographed) at the moment, so that shallow and self-indulgent little project won't be happening. (Translation: I am blogging at work, though doing so on my lunch break, which I feel makes it only mildly unscrupulous.) And now that I've mentioned both "fashion show" and "lunch break" in the same paragraph, I suddenly hear Kelly Kapoor in my head, chanting "Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"

My apologies if you're hearing her now as well.


lizgwiz said...

I have never liked dating more than one guy at once. Even if things aren't serious with either of them, I just find it awkward and fraught with potential dating disasters.

Case in point: years ago I thought I was "on a break" from Guy #1, and agreed to go out with Guy #2. While Guy #2 was at my house one evening, preparing to take me to dinner, Guy #1 did his first-ever-in-six-months-of-dating drop-by and I ended up getting yelled at in my driveway while Guy #2 no doubt peered at us through the windows. AWK-ward!

Here's hoping for discounted poorly-constructed shoe coupons!

3carnations said...

I think you have every right to see both of them, since you're not exclusive (I assume), but the few times I ever did that, it was too darn complicated, and I felt guilty, even though I had no reason to feel that way. But what a problem to have, right? :)

steve said...

Kudos to you for blogging about your dating adventures. I've recently started doing the online dating thing, but I just can't see blogging about it - I'm too easy to find online (my own fault, of course).

Jess said...

The teacher turned out to have a hot body. That's the end of that sentence. Now you know that you're not alone in your Friends knowledge.

Miss Pants said...

I say keep up the two of them until one pans out, or something better comes along. That's what 25 year old me would have done...that's what 25 year old me DID do. I dated 3 guys at one time. I appear to be attempting another massive dating round...I just wish I had the energy I did when I was 25.

Man, I sound curmudgeonly. Which I hear is a very attractive quality.

Neurotic Grad Student said...

Once I dated two guys at once and tried to keep it from them, but then Guy #1 found the Guy #2's number on my cell phone and called Guy #2. They started chatting (guys do this?) and realized what I was doing. I mean, I didn't think it was that bad since I wasn't exclusive with either one of them, but they were upset.

They both stopped dating me and became BFFs.

Anonymous said...

I say- play on playa

Well, only if you agree to be called "playa"

flurrious said...

You don't sound all that thrilled about either of them, but as long as they're pleasant company, there's no harm in continuing to see them both. Because you never know, one of them might turn out to be your lobster.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Both you and Lara have gone on shoe benders recently, leaving me feeling woefully inadequate with mine. NEED RED SHOES!

Aaron said...

Dude, rock on with the double dating! I am impressed.

plumpy said...

Ohhhh, I did the double dating thing one time. Well, more than once, honestly, but one time that's worth telling. They were two girls and I adored them both. They were nothing like each other (nothing at all!), but they were both amazing. I knew that one of them I would date long-term, but couldn't decide which and then I just became a total chicken and so I would basically see them on opposite nights. Both became semi-serious, the point where everyone wonders when the term "girlfriend" will be broken out. And then I kept dating them both for about three or four weeks after that. Yes, I am a terrible person.

I finally realized I had to make a decision. Okay, I realized it long before this, but I finally decided to stop being such a wimp and tell one. I didn't mention the other girl to the one I was dumping, but she guessed right away. I told the one I decided to date that I'd been double-dating and it clouded our entire 9-month relationship. I don't think she ever entirely trusted me (which was fair).

The moral: I don't know. There's no moral. Just be careful.

Also, since you mention Kelly, did you know the woman who plays her (who is also a writer for the show) has a great blog called Things I've Bought That I Love? Well you should definitely know, because it's amazing.

Poppy said...

Will there be pie?

-R- said...

I think Phoebe had a lot of extra time because I don't think she had a job.

I see nothing wrong with you dating two guys at once.

Noelle said...

I'm amazed that you have the time to date two guys and fix your shoes! You truly are having it all, Stefanie!

abbersnail said...

She couldn't break up with the teacher because it turned out that he had an incredibly hot body.

Why do I remember that???

Good job on the red shoes! Here's hoping that Steve Madden does right by you... erm... and sends you new shoes. (Why did that wording make it sound like Steve Madden needed to marry you after knocking you up? God, I am awkward. And Southern. Equally.)

Courtney said...

Yes! Abbersnail is right. Phoebe walked in on him remodeling his bathroom shirtless, thus the hot body.
Let's hope this works out better for you than it did for Phoebe. You're such a playa!

Whiskeymarie said...

Thinking about it now, I'm kind of shocked that I never did the "double dip" when it comes to dating. How odd.

Steve Madden shoes, in my opinion, are so not worth the price, which is always shockingly high for what they are.
I will buy them on clearance, and I will say that one pair of tan leather boots I bought on clearance for $50 is holding up beautifully. But, these boots were originally marked at $180, which I NEVER would have paid.

Sauntering Soul said...

I was dating three guys in college (I would never have the energy to try and keep up that kind of schedule now even if I wanted to) and they all three showed up at the same bar I was hanging out in one night. That was uhm, awkward. None of them were exclusive relationships, two of them figured out what was going on and got mad, the other was clueless. One of the ones who figured out ended up sending me flowers the next day and apologizing for being a jerk since we had never said we were exclusive. But I felt like the huge jerk.

Stefanie said...

Liz--It's not my normal MO either, but so far, there's nothing so obviously off-putting about either of them to brush them aside just yet, nor anything so amazing and life-altering about either of them to say "I choose YOU!" So I'm still in wait-and-see and get-to-know-him-better mode for now. I have no intention to be in that mode for six months, though, so hopefully it will all be OK.

3Cs--Not so much complicated as time-consuming. Also, I need to remember which conversations I had with which guy, but seeing as I could easily be forgetting which friend I was talking to as well as which date, hopefully that's not too big a problem.

Steve--I worry about being too easy to find, too, even without my last name on my blog. If a past date HAS ever found me in the two+ years I've been doing this, however, he hasn't told me.

Jess--Thank you. :-) I knew it was something like that!

Pants--If curmudgeonly isn't an attractive quality, then you and I both have problems...

NGS--Why was Guy #1 looking in your cell phone? And why did he assume it was a guy you were dating instead of just a male friend?? So many questions. So many ways this situation can apparently go wrong.

Monkey--Those are the rules? Really? I'll have to think about it and get back to you on that.

Flurrious--Nicely done, fellow Friends trivia master.

NPW--No red shoes in New York?? Tragic!

Aaron--Don't be. I'm not.

Plumpy--Wait. You dated two women (somewhat seriously) for NINE MONTHS?? OK, I'm at only about three weeks here, so I think I have a little time before I'm deemed awful in any way. (Good story, though!) Also, I have seen that blog (why isn't it ever updated anymore??), but I had no idea that's who wrote it!

Poppy--Sorry; I don't know how to answer that. At the moment, however, no, no pie. (Unless pizza counts?)

R--Hey, Phoebe was a massage therapist! You're right, though. I doubt it was a full-time gig. Mainly, though, I think she had extra time because she didn't know about the Internet yet.

Noelle--I don't have time. That's the problem. (Maybe if I had one of THEM fix my shoes? Hmm...)

Abbers--You are adorable, my friend.

Courtney--If this goes the way things usually go for me, it will end up exactly how it worked out for Phoebe, in that I won't end up staying with EITHER of them. We shall see.

WM--This is my first pair of Steve Maddens, but based on this one pair, I'd have to agree with you. (By the way, they're from the Steve Madden GIRL line, meaning they're a little cheaper, but still.)

SS--THREE?? Woah. I don't think even Phoebe ever did that. I did think I was pressing my luck a bit last week when I went with one of them to a bar that's only a few blocks from the other one's house. No sightings, luckily, though I honestly don't think we're in a place where he would have had any reason to be upset even if there were.

Fran said...

Stefanie - I support your stereo-dating, although I think I would be too scared to try it myself...mostly because I've been with my spouse for over 10 years, and that's call "cheating." Hopefully one of your suiters won't shoot birds through the window. (Isn't that happened with one of Pheobe's gentleman callers on Friends??) Please keep us abreast.

Those red shoes are delightful, even with extra glue.

Friend of NPW and your direct contact via CYOB part 2, Fran.

Alice said...

i SUCK at multiple-dating. mostly because i agree, who has the TIME? and also because i feel guilty even if it's only been like 2 dates with each guy. also, they have freaking ESP and ALWAYS CALL when i'm with the other dude.