In dating news, I have no news. I do have a question, however--you know, for those of you who are happily coupled off or have ever been happily coupled in the past. (You like those, don't you? Doesn't everyone like to help?) Tell me, if I have not seen either of the two men I'm not-so-scandalously dating since this past Monday and Tuesday, respectively, and if I have not given either of them more than an idle passing thought here and there since then, is that a sign that perhaps I'm not so into them, or does it just mean I am busy and popular and they are new and still foreign and relatively unimportant to me and perhaps I will warm to one of them and soon be genuinely excited to have him in my life? As I mentioned last week, I'm trying to do this thing where I actually keep an open mind and reserve judgment instead of saying, "Um, thanks but no thanks" after three dates. Mind you, I have had a good time with both of them. There's been nothing so odious or unpleasant as to warrant an obvious "I'm out" decision. But neither is making me say, "You! Yes, YOU! I want to date you and only you!" either. Three-to-five dates in, what do you think: is that portentous, or could it still go either way? I know no one else can really answer this for me, but it still annoys me that I can't figure this stuff out by now.
As I said, however, I haven't gone on a date since Tuesday, so I can't even blame my so-called player lifestyle for my absence from the Internet of late. I would say I've been busy with many other things, but in reality, I think several time warps were involved. This evening, however, I did have plans. I went to see David Sedaris read at a theater downtown, and naturally, rather than leaving feeling inspired to write something myself, I left realizing I will never craft witty sentences anywhere near as artfully and hence, I should not even pretend to try. Instead, then, how about some pictures?
Pictures of pumpkins...
And apples...
And my friend Amy with a mutant gourd...
And me and several friends outside an antique store...
Bearing treasures untold inside...
And I guess that about covers the highlights of my weekend... How was yours?
18 comments:
I think it's good to keep an open mind and not pass judgment too quickly...but 3 or 5 dates and no squishy, pooping rainbows, excitement? Perhaps you continue on with them (since there's nothing wrong, but also nothing out of this world)...while keeping your options open, looking for others, as well?
My weekend was great, thanks! I stayed in bed all sick and exhausted yesterday...did a phenomenal amount of sleeping. Today had brunch with a girlfriend and first date with a new guy...that went very well. *crossing fingers*
I agree with miss pants...keep at it, since there's not a problem (and that itself can be hard to find), but keep your options open.
My weekend did not involve mutant gourds, but it was still pretty okay. I mean, I did get to go to a Zombie Birthday Party.
As for the dating sitch, give it a few more dates. If things aren't working out for either (or you like each of them the same amount of meh), give them some sort of heroic test. Not to see which of them should get to date you, but just for your own (and our) amusement.
I think it could go either way. I mean, you are clearly not head over heels for them NOW, but that doesn't mean you couldn't be if you got to know them better. It depends.
That mutant gord resembles something I saw in a sex shop once.
Not seeing them since earlier in the week? No big deal. But not even really THINKING about them since then? Probably not a good sign. But, since I'm also trying to be more open and less judgmental, if they're not actively turning you off (you know, like claiming not to believe in evolution), no harm in letting it continue to unfold a while.
I would say that by 3-5 dates in you should a bit of a spark.
And is that a Winnie the Pooh/ Pinochio doll? It's pretty creepy.
I say you should stay the course with these guys. Sparks could come flying after a couple more dates, and if neither of them repulses you, what's the harm in spending a little more time with both of them?
And does that say "a nonalcoholic CEREAL beverage?" What on earth is that?
If it were me, I'd give it a few more dates.
Also, at the risk of being a moron, is that guy in the fourth picture standing up a step? Or is he just INCREDIBLY tall?
I'm pretty sure I am an adolescent boy, as the mutant gourd made me guffaw. Loudly.
Not even thinking of them? Move on. Seriously. You're wasting your time with these guys when you could be out meeting someone with potential.
My husband and I were friends for a long time before we start dating and I would have denied there were any sparks between us at the time, but I thought about him all the damn time. What would he think? Would he like this song? I'll have to remember to tell him this joke about the Prius and the Metro. So...I'd give up personally, but maybe I'm too optimistic!
I like NPW's answer the best.
Did any of your friends pay $25 for the Plumpee?
UGH, i have NO IDEA, in fact i need someone to come counsel me in MY life to help me figure out these things. FAILDATER, that's me!
that doll is creeping me the eff out.
At the beginning of our first date, I told the hubs not to expect this to turn into anything. But by the end of the date, I was pretty sure I needed to be around him as much as possible. I never felt that way about anyone else. Most people I dated before I met the hubs were of the take it or leave it variety. If I let it develop, it might turn into something, but nothing worth writing home about. As long as you're not squelching excitement to save yourself from hurt (I used to be REALLY good at that), I think the lack of warm fuzzies might be good reason to keep looking. You don't have to shut anything down, but looking is a good thing.
Neighborhood Giant! Oh. Just a guy standing on a step.
I think you should give it some time with both of them. No reason.
And now I won't be happy until I have some Zing and Gimp.
Pants--Pooping rainbows? If that's what happens when you find the right one, I'm not so sure I WANT him! ;-) Hope you're feeling better, and good luck with the new find!
3Cs--That's sort of what I'm thinking. (Hey! We agree on something! Yay! I kid, I kid.) :-)
NPW--I'm curious what sort of heroic test you have in mind. I'm open to suggestions.
Jess--That's what I was thinking. I mean, it's possible, right? Even if it's never happened for me before? We shall see.
Noelle--I think you've been to wilder sex shops than I have.
Liz--See, that seems like a sign to me, too. But then I think, "Eh, you never know." (See? I have no idea what I'm doing here. Do any of us, though?)
Dutchess--I don't know who it's supposed to be, but it's definitely creepy. Gah.
Courtney--I don't know, but I wouldn't want to try it.
Abbers--That cracked me up. I didn't notice that, but I can totally see how he could just look like a giant. He is, in fact, standing on a step. I think Courtney (my pal in the blue) must be too, because I am totally taller than she is even though it doesn't look like it in that pic. :-)
Metalia--I am glad. I think we all have a little bit of adolescent boy in us. It makes life much more fun.
NGS--If I do give up on them, I'm totally using you as my backup for the decision. Deal?
R--No, thankfully. I wouldn't have wanted to drive home with that thing in my car.
Alice--FAILDATER? But I thought things were going WELL with you! Oh, bummer. At least we're both failures together? We are in good company! :-) (The company does not include that doll, though. I agree. Too creepy to dwell on, obviously.)
Allie--See? THAT is the sort of story I want and the sort of obvious sign I'm looking for! I've felt it before, so I know it is possible. I just haven't found it in ages.
Flurrious--Ha! No, not The Neighborhood Giant. But good memory; thank you. :-)
I think you should give the guys a few more dates and a little more time. Sometimes it takes time for things to develop and then again you may realize you're just not into either of them. But if you end things now, you might always wonder if you should have given it a couple of more dates to find out.
I'm with NPW on the hypothetical dating test. Just do it for our amusement and see who comes out victorious. Then stop returning his calls.
But seriously, I agree with all the "give it a few dates" stuff, and yet...you don't sound all that excited. Barring my current relationship, however, I'm really the last person to sound off on this kinda thing.
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