A couple weeks ago, I brought up the idea of post-date performance reviews. I still think this is a fine concept, but after an evening with Candidate #4 in my new Great Date Experiment, I have another suggestion as well: letters of recommendation.
I realize that letters of recommendation are frequently utter bullshit, and the validity or veracity of the content within can be questionable at best. But when the "read" on someone is tough, when it's hard to tell if the odd quirks you're picking up are just nerves or deeply imbedded personality flaws, it would be helpful to get a take on it from a friend or an ex who's already done the groundwork to find out.
Yes, yes, I know it is wrong and shallow to let someone else's opinion determine my own. If I were a more warm and patient person, I'd never think of such a thing. But frankly, I don't have time for that, when I've got a life to live and a blog to ignore and a queue of boyfriend candidates to audition. Plus, there's my own safety to consider. That twitchiness I'm observing could be just awkward social skills that will smooth out over time, or it could be a sign that he's thinking of the best way to get me back to his lair where he'll fatten me up and make me rub lotion on myself and eventually turn me into part of a real-woman suit. When a guy outright says, "I guess I'm kinda creepy," I want to think he's just trying to be funny, but is it really a risk I should take?
Incidentally, I ran into Date Experiment Candidate #1* at the restaurant while waiting for Candidate #4. Clearly Minneapolis is a much smaller town than I realized. And yes, not too far into the date with #4, it did occur to me to go back and look for #1. I hope he had a more comfortable night than I did.
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* Not the NRA member; there was actually a candidate before him who was far too normal and nice to inspire an entry of any sort, so you didn't hear about him at all.
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2 comments:
Love the letters of rec suggestion. We want to hear about the awkwardness! Spare no detail.
Hmmm. Which part do you want to hear about? The part where he suggested that he might be gay? (More power to him if he is; I just don't think he should be going on dates with women if that's the case.) Or the part where he mentioned being a virgin twice in the same conversation? (Also not that big a deal really, I guess, though I don't see any reason to bring that up on a first date.)
The worst part was I didn't know whether he was serious or trying to make some bizarre joke when he brought up either of these things, so... how do you react to THAT?
Can I get some sort of pin or medal if I rack up enough of these bad and semi-bad dates??
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