Sometimes, I think heaven will be kind of like a Target store, and then other times, I pray to God it's not.

So I went to Target yesterday. News flash, I know. I'm sure you people probably think that I go there often enough and with such enthusiasm that my shopping jaunts might actually be considered a hobby, but the truth is, it had been so long since I'd been to Target that I actually had a list of eleven specific items that I legitimately needed. Eleven! Usually I make a stop in there at least once a week for the few assorted items I remember needing or wanting and then have to return a few days later with proper list in hand to pick up the rest. For whatever reason, though, I haven't made any impulse trips over there lately, and with only half a roll of toilet paper and possibly two showers' worth of shampoo left, it was nearing a Code Red situation, so to speak. So off to the big bullseye I went.

I am pleased to report that I purchased ten of the eleven items on my list* and bought only one item that was not on the list. That one item is actually something that's been on my "get someday" list for a while now, though, so I'm going to count it as Not-an-Impulse-Buy anyway. So then. Responsible Target shopping. It's a bit of a foreign concept, I know. This is progress. Yay me.

I didn't really start this post intending to talk about what I bought or didn't buy at Target, however. What I wanted to do was point out the two things I cannot believe I saw at Target (and yet, that I saw there anyway). What were those two things?

1. Dove Pro-Age Deodorant. So now it is not enough that we have to worry about fighting the effects of aging with special face creams and hair products and body lotions and vitamins? You are telling me my old lady armpits will have special needs, too? Man, getting old is entirely more complicated and depressing than I thought.
   
   and...
   
   
2. Adam from meMarmony. AGAIN! Honestly, people, what the fuck. I don't run into my real friends unexpectedly in public on any sort of even arguably regular basis. Again, Minneapolis is not Stars Hollow. I am not trying to plan my Doose's Market trips around the brief moments when I won't need to dart into the cereal aisle to avoid CuteDean.** This is a major metropolitan area, with at least 35 separate Target stores. Why is Adam from meMarmony always at mine?
   

I was so thrown off by that second item that I had to tell someone about it immediately. I texted my friend Carrie from the health and beauty aisles...

Me: I just saw Adam from meMarmony at Target AGAIN!
Carrie: Wow! You must be meant for each other. Was it a specific aisle?
Me: No. I was on my way in as he was on his way out, just like last time. What aisle would mean we are made for each other?***
Carrie: Archer Farms?

Heh. The woman has a point, I suppose. I do dig that cranberry nut trail mix, after all...

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* Doesn't Target sell hand towels that you can tie or loop to your drawer pulls anymore? I am sure that is where I got the frayed one I've been using for the past six years that finally bit the dust in my dryer last week, and yet, no such thing exists in the towel aisles right now.

** You thought that just because Gilmore Girls had been canceled the references would stop, right? Obviously you thought wrong.

*** Yes, I really text in complete words and complete sentences. This is why I rarely text. It is also why I am so very glad Malia and Darren finally taught me how to use T9.