Thursday, January 17, 2008

Business in the front, party in the back

Tell me, where's a Blog Share when you need one? I was going to tell you a boy story, but it really is the sort of story I should not publish on the Internet. It would be mean and premature and would do nothing whatsoever to help me resolve the dilemma I'm in right now. So instead I will just say that I'm coming to fear I'm that stereotypical terminally single girl in every movie and sitcom you've ever seen--the one who's never happy and always finds one little thing wrong with every person she dates... a crooked earlobe, or a stray eyebrow hair, or some other heinous offense that she can't possibly get past.

Except that that's not me. Really, I swear that it's not. After all, my longest relationship to date has been with a guy whose stomach is so large and round, it looks like he's smuggling Humpty Dumpty around under his shirt. The dude actually named his ample gut (named it after his skinny old uncle, no less), and I found it charming, not revolting. Really. So yeah. I have my reservations. Everybody does, I think. But I can get past them, when all else is well aligned and feeling promising. Or, I hope so, anyway.

Jury is still out on my dates this week. I guess that's what I'm saying with all this.

Meanwhile, I have very little else on my mind to write about, which is the only reason I just spent three paragraphs telling you absolutely nothing. Sorry about that. It is colder than the proverbial witch's tit here at the moment (I despise that phrase, so please take my use with irony), and perhaps it's affecting my brain. It's also affecting my social calendar, unfortunately. My friend Carrie and I discussed venturing to a pond hockey tournament on a local lake this weekend, but I doubt either one of us even owns the appropriate layers to make that a reasonable plan. Incidentally, no, I'm not generally much for pond hockey (or any hockey, except maybe the tonsil variety, with the right partner), but we were going on a tip from a girl at Carrie's gym who assured us it was a fine place to find some single men. In Minnesota, I'm hoping that sort of event draws the general rugged, outdoorsy type and not strictly the Slap Shot-worthy, hockey hair type, as a mullet would most definitely fall under that category of one little thing wrong that could turn me off, and if I'm going to spend any more time than necessary outdoors when the wind chill is thirty below, it damn well better be for a guy with a proper haircut.

Alas, we may have to find another venue for our socializing and sport-flirting this week. We're trying this new thing, you see, where we actively attempt to put ourselves in situations where we're more likely to meet new people. This plan also involves going for drinks at a new-to-us bar at least once every two weeks in '08. I fear that plan might simultaneously conflict with our half-assed and insincere goal to drink less, but I like to rationalize potentially unhealthy behavior in the name of research and social experiment, don't you?

And with that, I'm going to quit digging this hole in front of me any deeper and work on that other goal that's not going so well: the "get to bed at a reasonable hour on week nights" one. Goals, schmoals. It is the Year of Stef! It'll all work out somehow, don't you think?


don't call me MA'AM said...

Sleep is highly overrated. Not by me, of course, but I'm sure someone out there would say that. ;-)

You are not Mauricio from Shallow Hal. Cut yourself some slack.

Anonymous said...

I went to bed at 9:30 last night, I'll try and send some of that love your way. As for the guys, it does take a really long time for an annoying quality to become endearing. And it takes practically no time at all for an endearing quality to become annoying.

We should just all give up and reproduce like amoebas.

shelleycoughlin said...

No way, you can't give up yet! 2008 is the Year of Stef (and Noelle), and also, I love reading dating stories. You MUST write more about them! Especially if you go on a date with one of the elusive mullet tribe.

Aaron said...

S'true, it is the Year of Stef (and, of course, Noelle), so don't sweat it. It's your year; if you want to booze, stay up late, whatever: the universe must oblige.

Also: I agree with NPW. I want some stories. Which is why I think you should set up a second, "secret" blog that only a select few people know about. Like me for example.

Aaron said...

Oh, and: don't ignore the red flags, my friend. I did that for way, way too long. Doesn't matter how insignificant they may seem. If your instinct says "meh", go with it.

3carnations said...

I think we need to pester -r- for another Blog Share. I'm sure we've all got posting ideas...the holidays usually provide people with great material.

While I realize that we are all capable of organizing a blog share on our own, she's just so darn good at it...

Mair said...

You're welcome to post it on mine. :)

Um. OMG. The word Blogger wants me to use to verify this comment is "hobux." Why do I feel like that's a perfectly acceptable name for Starbucks in some circles?

Anonymous said...

Stef- what about online dating?

lizgwiz said...

I don't think even George Clooney could get me out on a frozen pond with a wind chill like that. I'm impressed you would even consider it.

Have you tried the hardware store on a Friday evening? I read a whole article the other day on why that's such a great place to meet single guys.

Stefanie said...

DCCM--My yoga teacher recently cited a study that found people who got an hour less sleep a night than their research counterparts gained an average of ten pounds in a year. Something about your body needing time to mend and rest. That alone (if not my constant tired eyes and yawning) is enough to make me think sleep's not overrated!! :-)

Noelle--Who said anything about reproducing? Do amoebas make good companions?

NPW--I'm not saying I'll never write any more dating stories; I just have reasons for not wanting to write this one. I just rattled it all out to Noelle in an email, though, so maybe she can tell you when you're having a pillow fight and braiding each other's hair later.

Aaron--I actually was supposed to be part of Red's secret dating blog a long while back, but I have a hard enough time writing regularly on my own blog, so splitting the stories up onto two blogs just seemed silly. Rest assured, if I decide not to keep dating this guy, I will tell you all what my reservation was.

3Cs--I agree. Let -R- do all the work. :-)

Malia--Hmm. I'll think about that. ;-) And "hobux"? Hee.

Monkey--What about it? Are you suggesting just that I try it? Been there, done that, my friend. That's not to say I'm not open to doing it again, but another approach can't hurt, right? Plus, this way we get to have drinks! Yay!

Liz--I think I read that same article. I believe it also suggested meeting people at the grocery store, which, I'm sorry, haven't they been saying that for 30 years?? Has ANYONE ever met a date in the grocery store??

-R- said...

I was actually thinking about blog share last night! I am thinking March 1st.

I think you and Carrie have a good plan. If you need another (married) wingwoman, let me know. =)

Akkire said...

Hey there! I learned a great piece of advice from the Scrubs episode where JD breaks up with Mandy Moore's character. For once, his friends are all happy and think he did the right thing because usually he breaks up with women for dumb reasons, like the ones you listed for yourself. This time though, he broke up with her because she was not ready to start a life with him.

If you find "little things" wrong with men, is it because you're not ready? ready for what, that's for you to say...but it's just a thought. Or maybe you do meet heinous losers too :)

L Sass said...

I am really anxious to hear what kind of fellows show up at Pond Hockey! Definitely brave the cold, if only to satisfy your readership's curiosity!

shelleycoughlin said...

Hey! No fair. Noelle's hair is no longer long enough to braid. But YOURS is! Maybe you can tell me the dating stories and then we can play a round of Girl Talk and read chapters of Sweet Valley High to each other.

Anonymous said...

I told V at work about pond hockey, and she said, “I don’t date hockey players. They’re too aggressive.” I guess you expect them to have bad hair! What a reputation they have.

I suggested that she can’t categorize all hockey players in the same way. She suggested that I’m crazy. "Do you expect a guy who reads and cooks to be watching hockey in this weather?" Good point V. He’s probably at home making an omelet and listening to The Current.

Really, there’s going to be a negative-20-degree windchill tomorrow. That’s insane (but the website does hype up the brats and beer in the warming tent...)

Paisley said...

I love sleep. I don't really know if Sleep remembers me, though. I've got a little person who thinks that 4:45 is a perfectly reasonable time to get up. Twice this week. The third time it was 3:45. WTF?

Go stay out late and have a drink or five for me. I can't even remember what that was like and I kinda miss it. Kinda.

Anonymous said...

I happened on your blog when I noticed a comment you left over at bleeding espresso. I enjoyed reading your post and wish you all the best in your search for Mr. Right, or Mr. Will Do For Now, whichever works for you. Personally I believe God has your perfect match lined up for you and will reveal him at the right time. That's what I've always told my kids and though they think I'm crazy, they know I'm right! Take care and God bless,
Briggie ^i^

Jess said...

I am soooo looking forward to hearing the verdict once the jury is in.

Also, pond hockey can DEFINITELY wait until the weather is mild enough that you aren't at risk for dying of exposure.

Stefanie said...

R--Do you have any experience as a wingwoman? I'm gonna need to see some credentials or references, I think. ;-)

Erikka--I actually don't think I find "little things" wrong with men, but I worry that's what my friends think sometimes. I may pinpoint the little things because they make for better stories, but overall, it all comes down to chemistry and attraction. If it's not there, it's not there, and rarely is some one "little thing" to blame.

L Sass--Sadly, we did not make it there. Next year, maybe!

NPW--Ha! You can braid my hair anytime, my friend. I will tell you all my sordid (and not-so-sordid) stories. :-)

Carrie--You know how I feel about both beer and bratwurst. If only you'd mentioned WINE in the warming tent!

Paisley--My love of sleep is one of the very real reasons I'm not so sure I ever want a child. Selfish and silly? Maybe. But I slept until after 10 today. Did YOU? ;-)

Jehovahroi--Thanks. We'll see, I guess.

Jess--Thanks. I think you're the only one who gave me permission not to go! Glad that I didn't disappoint you, at least! :-)