Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Heavens to Betsy, has it been four days already?

Thank you all very much for your contributions to last week's interactive Friday Five. As it's now Tuesday, it's as good a time as any to post a roundup, don't you think? I asked for your favorite words or phrases that have long been forgotten in the lexicon--words we haven't heard since Jimmy Stewart uttered them in a talkie that our grandparents saw on their first date. In case you didn't have the patience to wade through the comments, here's what the lot of you came up with.

  • Willy-nilly
  • In the family way
  • Setting up housekeeping
  • Breaking bread
  • Gay (as in happy, you fool, as in "we'll have a gay ol' time")
  • I doth protest
  • Wanna flap?
  • The Middle West (where Fitzgerald knows we Minnesotans live)
  • Woe is me
  • Dumb dora
  • The bee's knees
  • Dagnabbit
  • Heavens to Betsy
  • Knickerbocker
  • Pitching woo
  • Hold your horses
  • Chap
  • Don't take any wooden nickels
  • What a fat pig that William Howard Taft is (you're right, Aaron; that never gets old)
  • Insolent
  • Reticent
  • Expectorate (and micturate)
  • The depths of despair (thank you, Cookie, and Anne of Green Gables)
  • Sot (so much better and more high-brow than "drunken fool")
  • Egad
  • Bee in her bonnet
  • Lollygagger

Not to play favorites, of course, as you all had fine things to say, but I think I'm particularly fond of dagnabbit, ol' chap, the bee's knees, pitching woo, and lollygag. Oh, and "heavens to Betsy," which I'll admit I actually added myself. I'd also like to add "davenport" to the list, because you know what? Sometimes "sofa" or "couch" just doesn't suffice.

Also, I cannot believe that Erikka (at comment #33) was the first person to ask just what on earth this list had to do with a boy. The fact is there is a boy on an increasingly lame personals site who mentioned a penchant for obscure words and phrases that were last fashionable in the 1920s, and I thought perhaps I might impress him with just the right long-forgotten phrase. After researching the definition of "pitching woo," however, I didn't really have the nerve to use it as the subject of an email. Also, it turns out that this perfect-for-me-on-paper boy might actually be a bit of a tool. I mentioned that my shoes were sensible enough to be preferred by librarians the world over, but I never said I was a librarian. Still, he followed up with, "So you're an honest-to-goodness librarian? Public or research?" Um, NO. I am not a librarian. Never claimed to be, in fact. But since you're calling up all sorts of sexy librarian fantasies right now, there's really no winning you back from that, is there?

The fading optimist in me--the part of me that still wants to believe that psychic was right when she said 2008 would be my year--would like to think there's still some great story in the works here. Years from now, we'll be telling our "how we met" story to friends or grandchildren...

Me: I read his profile and then posted one of my own just so I could have a way to contact him.
Him: Oh, you did not. You were all over the Internet, weren't you?
Me: No. In fact, I was not. Not online really anywhere at the time.
Him: Except that blog of yours, which you did not tell me about for months.
Me: Oh. Right. Except for that, of course.
Him: And Friendster, which for some reason you still had a profile on, even though you eschewed MySpace and Facebook.
Me: Right. And that. I swear I almost never logged on.
Him: [eye roll]
Me: I didn't! Anyway, so, I added him to my "Hotlist," in the hopes that he would see my interest and step up.
Him: I was busy! I had work!
Me: Then why were you online?
Him: ...
Me: And I finally broke down and emailed him, with a cute little list of all the commonalities we had.
Him: It was cute. I'll give you that.
Me: But you still didn't take the bait. You thought I was a librarian. You didn't even READ my profile, did you?? Admit it. You had written me off.
Him: I hadn't met you yet! I had no idea of all your charms!


Um, yeah. And... scene. Clearly I've got a bit too much time on my hands. I'll keep you posted if any of this pans out, of course. At the moment, I'm pretty much feeling like my dating life is just an example of bad, bad karma of some sort. Strangely, though, I'm not sure if I'm creating the bad karma or paying for it. Time will tell, I guess.

16 comments:

Aaron said...

I'm just saying: Taft is a porker.

I don't want to be obnoxious here, but my current situation notwithstanding, I recently went through a very, very dry, dark time, dating-wise. Actually, from summer through November. And then for about three years before that. So I guess what I'm saying is: you can trust my authority on these matters.

And my point is, 2008 is going to be your year. I can sense it. Because like your psychic, I can totally fake-predict the future. And I charge a lot less.

Seriously, though, without having met you in person, I get a serious "awesome" vibe off you. It seems to me that it's only a matter of time before some quirky, handsome mofo sweeps you away.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Wow. Look at Aaron with the sucking up! It's true though, some hot nerdy dude is going to show up on your doorstep one day.

I feel the need to mention that I own many pairs of non-sensible shoes. As a librarian it is my duty to set the record straight- we are not a bunch of duds! I swear!

Also, what is it with the sudden upswing in dudes being interested in librarians? Seriously, I've had to fight them off when they hear I work with books and stinky middle schoolers every day.

lizgwiz said...

Are you me? I've been pondering the whole issue of dating karma for a while now--was planning to post about it at one point and got sidetracked. I think I've suffered 20 years of payback for breaking a sweet boy's heart in 1987. I didn't mean to, or want to, but I did. It seemed like the thing to do at the time...now I wish I'd been a little more patient with him. Since, in the 20 years since, not a single guy has ever felt about me the way he did. Sigh.

Okay, I'm not in a happy place today, can you tell? (And New Guy isn't helping, at the moment. Sigh again.)

But 2008 IS the Year of Stef! I demand it, universe.

-R- said...

I was wondering about the boy but figured you would tell me/us if you wanted to.

I am totally going to try to work some of these words into conversation today. Don't I seem like someone who would say Heavens to Betsy? (Answer: I do seem like that.)

Noelle said...

My comment got deleted again, and I just figured out why. I did the word verification, typed out my name, and hit "Publish." Then I closed the window. But I must have gotten the word verification wrong or something, because in a flash, I saw one of those red warning labels that I hadn't filled out a form properly. I'll have to take more care with this in the future.

As for the lost post, it was mainly me relating to you in that I plan conversations with future grandchildren as well. Then it ended with me chanting, "year of Stefanie!"

Shannon said...

With the spring, always comes new life and love - blah, blah, blah! I was trying to be philosophical - did I spell that right - then I threw up a little in my mouth.

Anywho - I think this is the year of Stef, too! Go Stef!

Paisley said...

Oh, dear Stefanie! It's only January! Don't give up on 2008. You never know, maybe your year is February - December 2008!!! :)

Also, does lady garden count? I really think that term is hilarious.

L Sass said...

Hey, don't count him out for thinking you're a real librarian!

On our first date, I sarcastically told AS that, as a nonprofit employee, I only made $2 an hour. And he BELIEVED me for, like, two more weeks before he got up the courage to ask how I paid my rent. I was like, "Uh... I'm definitely underpaid, but that was hyperbole, buddy."

Jess said...

So far I'm not impressed with this guy. I think. But here's hoping I'm wrong.

Poppy Cede said...

NOT TO PUT TOO FIIIIIINE A POINT ON IIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Flans is still mine. MINE!)

togethertheycome said...

Oh yes, davenport is a great one! I do enjoy a good day on the davenport while watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. And heaven's to Betsy is going to my new saying that will change the world...at least my world.

Pete said...

Okay I'm a librarian and your blog is great. The list of words is creative. The guy does not sound like he clicks with you. At least you took the time and effort to give him a thoughtful email.

Erikka said...

first comment before I forget - whoa nellie and bosom buddy a la Anne of Green Gable.

metalia said...

I know I missed the list making fun, but I just had to add "cat's pajamas"...and tell you that when I was younger, I actually had a pair of pajamas with PJ-WEARING CATS AND BEES POINTING TO THEIR KNEES ON THEM. I swear, I have pictures of me wearing them. Somewhere.

Stefanie said...

Aaron--Aw, that is my new favorite comment. Thanks. You've got an "awesome" vibe too, my friend. Any chance you want a girlfriend in Minnesota? Oh. Right. You already have one. Never mind. ;-)

(Relax, people; I am kidding. I wouldn't really propositioning someone through my comments. Or, maybe I would, but I'm not doing so now.)


NPW--You own not just non-sensible shoes, but CUTE shoes! Not that my Danskos aren't cute, of course... Oh, hell, who am I kidding; they're utilitarian through and through.

Liz--It wouldn't be the first time one of us asked if the other was ourselves. Sorry you're having a crappy day/week/indeterminate amount of time. Chin up, my friend. Better times will come around soon.

R--I can't think of very many things I wouldn't tell you if you were wondering and wanted to know; I just don't always want to post them publicly.

Noelle--Yay; comment mystery solved?? I hope so! Because I was getting damn close to considering moving to my own domain, and considering I still haven't updated my sidebar to add my 2008 lists, the likelihood of my building a whole new site anytime soon is not good.

Shannon--Go me indeed. Thanks. :-)

Paisley--Lady Garden? Oh, that's priceless.

L Sass--I'm not a real librarian, but I play one on TV (er, on my blog?). Hell, I don't really know what I'm saying. That is hilarious that AS really believed you made less than minimum wage, though.

Jess--Here's hoping you are, too. Unless he's a total tool, in which case, eh, moving on.

Poppy--Why did I not see that comment when it came in?? And OK, FINE. You can BE the only Bee in Flan's bonnet. At least I smell like a girl.
(Kidding. Kidding. I love you, Pop-star.)

Together--Ha. I like the idea of a new saying that will change the world.

Pete--Hello! Good to get the opinion of another librarian. But man, you write potential dates off more quickly than I do! (So yay--it's not just me.)

Erikka--Was there a second comment? Or did you forget that, too? (Kidding. And Whoa Nellie's always a fun one.)

Metalia--Oh my god; BEES pointing to their KNEES??? I love that. :-) Oh dear, you MUST find those pictures.

Poppy Cede said...

I assure you, I make the boy deodorant smell sweet. My body chemistry alters it.