Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I hear those Latins also made a mean martini

So am I the last person to hear about Zabasearch, or is this nifty little search tool new to you, too? A friend of mine introduced me to that site last weekend, and I quickly decided it's a fine and valuable supplement to Google for routine, recreational sleuthing. Want the last recorded address for any person you've ever known? Want a birth year along with that info as well? Zabasearch likely has it for you. Zabasearch even knows where I could stalk the "bird" half of The Bird and the Bee when she wraps up the tour she's now on. Incidentally, if her "people" are reading this, please know I'm just kidding. I promise I am not the stalking type. Had I not been listening to an archived in-studio performance on MPR's web site while I was Zabasearching (in preparation for the show I'm attending this week), it never even would have occurred to me to check that name. Since I did find her, however, I have to wonder how many other famous and semi-famous names might be on public record. Not that I tried to find any. Of course not. I have better things to do with my time. (Riiiiight. Moving on.)

I actually think it's much more fun to web-stalk non-famous people whom I know than famous people whom I don't, so naturally, I also asked Zaba about some long-lost names from my past, including my old friend Craig, on whom I had a recurring crush back in college. I've Googled Craig periodically over the years, just out of curiosity, wondering where he ended up, and I've never found any particularly informative results. Zabasearch knows where he is, though, and the Google link from that search actually led to a new, recent, relevant result: a wedding announcement from late last summer.

For some absurd reason, my heart actually sank a tiny bit when I read that announcement and saw the photo of my old friend with his smiling new bride. Did I think I was actually ever going to reconnect with him? Of course not. But there's something to be said for far-off silly fantasies tucked deep (or even not-so-deep) within your mind. They're harmless, if you ask me. Most of the time, anyway.

The last time I saw Craig was the weekend he graduated from college. I was in town visiting some friends (having graduated the previous year myself), and I ran into him on Water Street, the street-of-many-college-bars in my former college town. I hugged him, said "Happy Graduation," and asked what he was going to do next in life. "I'm gonna find you, and MARRY YOU!!" he slurred, with a dopey but charming smile on his face. Sigh. He was a drunken fool, but he was adorable. Unfortunately, that's not the sort of marriage proposal you can hold anyone to, so I just have to wish him and his little blond* wife well.

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* This has nothing to do with the rest of my post, but I have to ask it anyway. Am I the only one who apparently learned the word
blond as blonde and still prefers to spell it that way? Dictionary.com and Merriam-Webster both indicate that blonde is an acceptable variant, but Firefox's red dotted lines disagree with me. But then, I am the girl who sometimes types her list parentheses backwards, so what the hell do I know, right? Still. Blond looks wrong to me. I much prefer the spelling with the "e."
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I don't think of Craig all that often, but it's funny the things that still always remind me of him. Someone utters the phrase "lactose intolerant," for instance, and I'll remember Craig trying to put a bad ass, powerful spin on a generally wussy-sounding affliction. "I will not TOLERATE lactose!" he once shouted with conviction, calling up the same spirit as political revolutionaries the world over.

And last week, when I was moving books from my tiny, old, inadequate particle board bookcases onto the larger, only slightly better quality ones I bought to replace them (as part of Operation Get Fucking Organized Already), I came across this, which was a gift from Craig on the occasion of my own college graduation (upon which I did not propose to him--either drunk or sober).

The Latin Poets

It looks like just an ordinary used book of Latin poetry--presumably a fine gift for a graduating English major. You have to check out the inscription inside, however, to see it was actually two, two gifts in one...



All right, so he couldn't remember how to spell my name, and I've known third graders with better penmanship. But let's look at page 115, as he requested, shall we?...



The dude made me my very own booksafe. And I have kept it, to this day.

Like I said, he was adorable. I only hope Blondy appreciates my almost-husband's fabulously dorky wit.

18 comments:

Monkey said...

thanks- I really needed a new way to waste time online.

nabbalicious said...

That is a really awesome gift. Although, I was hoping that you were going to tell us he at least put a nice bag of weed in there for you!

Aaron said...

My understanding has always been that "blonde" referred to females and "blond" males. Eg. Daniel Craig is the "blond Bond" and Baby Spice is the "blonde Spice".

I freely admit that I could be making this up...

...No, I have verification. And this part is great: "Blond (without the e) is used to describe males, mixed gender, or uncertain gender."

L Sass said...

That is an amazing gift.

Also, if only you and Criag had Facebook when you graduated! You might be married today!

nancypearlwannabe said...

What a crazy, memorable, adorable gift! Don't worry, when thinks don't work out with the blonde (I still like the e) you'll be ready with your Facebook to snatch him up.

3carnations said...

My understanding was the "e" made blond(e) feminine. Maybe that's a french thing...

nabbalicious said...

P.S. I totally prefer the "e," too!

Jess said...

I had never heard of that search engine either, so you are not the last one. Also, I use both spellings depending on gender, because I speak French and so it's second nature to me. But before I learned French, I always used the E because I liked it better too.

lizgwiz said...

I prefer the "e" version, as well.

Craig sounds delightful, but I'm sure he doesn't hold a candle to your new boyfriend, Randy from Michigan. ;)

-R- said...

I like blonde too.

I had not heard of zabasearch. I just searched for myself, and apparently I do not exist. Also, H and his siblings are all listed as living with H's parents, which is fine, but there is also someone named Eric Lastname living with H's parents, which is a little freaky since I don't know anyone named Eric Lastname.

Noelle said...

Blonde.

I'm happy that the search engine doesn't seem to have found me at my new address.

Anonymous said...

I like finding other Stef's who spell their name with an f not a ph.

One perk is that "Stef with an f" makes a handy nickname for Myspaces, email address etc.

Peace out

...stef...

Whiskeymarie said...

*I spell it "blonde" too.

*Zabawhatchacallit is evil, I already wasted 10 minutes on it just now.

*The book safe is great- I think I'm going to make one.

Megan said...

HA HA! That's great.

Stefanie said...

Monkey--You're welcome. I'm here to help.

Nabb--Maybe that's what he had in mind. The Feds would never think to look in there, right? ;-)

Aaron--I don't know why I didn't see that explanation when I looked this up myself, but I'm glad I've finally gotten some clarification.

L Sass--If only...

NPW--Then I guess I'd better get signed up for Facebook...

3Cs--I never realized it was a gender thing, but I'm glad so many of you are confirming that Firefox's spell checker is wrong and I can add the "e" like I want!

Nabb--Me too! I'm glad I can go back to that spelling with confidence. :-)

Jess--Another vote for the e. Yay!

Liz--Good point. I wonder if Randy would ever make me my own book safe...

R--Maybe you should check the basement next time you're there. ;-)

Noelle--Give it time. I'm sure they'll track you down eventually. Wait. Do you have a land line? If not, maybe they won't find you. I think this tool will be less and less useful as people continue to go to cell phone only.

Stef--Another one?! There are a lot of us out there!! :-) Welcome.

WM--It does make a cheap but unusual gift, right? You should definitely make one.

Megan--I know; it still cracks me up. "Sure knew how to hide their money." Sigh.

Lara said...

(1) I'm in the blonde with an e camp as well.
(2) Those crazy Latins!
(3) HEE! What a cutie pie to have made you a book and drunkenly said he was going to marry you.
(4) Zabasearch! Super fun!
(5) I! Am! Very! Excitable! Today! Hi, Exclamation points!
(6) I don't exist. At least not under my married name. IT's kind of nice to know I am apparently the only person named Lara SecretLastName in the world. However, it really does have my last 5 addresses listed under my maiden name!

Pam said...

Thanks for the tip on Zabasearch! So useful!

bleeding espresso said...

OK that is definitely a gift that should provoke a little disappointment when the giver gets married whether you still have contact with him or not.

And I'm glad that blond/e mystery is solved for you :)