Friday, February 08, 2008

Five things I have relayed via email in the past 24 hours

(You know--because apparently I've forgotten how either complete and coherent posts or this Friday Five thing are supposed to work)

  1. Methinks [personals site I'm on now] is where the lazy date seekers are. meHarmony is like the freshman mixer, where everyone's all gun-ho and dead-set on meeting people, walking up to each other and saying, "Hi! Nice to meet you! You're single? I'm single, too!" [New site] is like some random bar downtown--a bunch of people sitting around scoping each other out but not motivated enough to take any action. We're all just parked on a barstool, thinking, "Eh. If someone talks to me, I won't make them go away, but I'm not putting forth any effort." We could do this just as easily, well, at a BAR. And there'd be drinks there! Perhaps we should rethink our strategies.

  2. I am continually ashamed about my dietary habits. Why do I eat massive quantities of absurd things? Tonight I have eaten likely a full half cup of shredded parmesan--one tiny handful after another out of the canister in succession. Mind you, I said shredded, not that powdery grated stuff, but still. I need help. A culinary intervention might be in order.

  3. If you are a horrible person, then I am, too. If you weren't a hidden ball of rage who's given up gossiping for lent, I would suggest we get together to dissect all of this very soon.

  4. I have a theory about my athletic ability (or lack thereof). I'm pretty sure my parents planned to have only two children; I think my younger sister was an unplanned surprise to some extent. As a result, they had only enough "stuff" to pass along two two kids. My older sister got half of the athletic ability available to all of us, and my younger sister and I had to split the meager amount that was left. I lucked out and got probably 65% of that remaining half, whereas my little sister was so shafted in this area that she can barely enter a room without running into the door frame. I could provide additional examples of this "not enough 'stuff' for three kids" theory, but it's really not important, and as a scientist, you're probably horrified that I'm even joking about something so ridiculous and medically improbable. I'll stop now.

  5. I'm going to hope he had a thesaurus nearby when he wrote that. Also, WHY no capital letters? Dammit, why does everyone think they're e.e. cummings?

So that's my end-of-week, in email snippets. What's on your mind (or in your correspondence) lately?

14 comments:

lizgwiz said...

If I think too hard about what I have relayed in email the past day or so, I'll burst into tears.

Yeah, not having a good week. :(

3carnations said...

Well, I think I know who the hidden ball of rage who gave up gossiping for Lent email was to...Unless there's more than one! ;)

I emailed my mother this morning and told her of the s'/s's apostrophe rule I learned today on Jess's blog (note apostrophe AND s). Because I was that excited, and I knew she would be, too. She sends emails to correct typos like I do! :)

Jess said...

I am really happy about the comment above mine. That is all.

Poppy Cede said...

The cheese thing made me laugh and laugh and laugh. I love your food habits. Don't change!

Noelle said...

Those dating sites do have the vibes of bars. I really can't stand being "winked" at and not emailed. If you're interested, just say something! It's not like I'm here for a drink.

-R- said...

Last night I ate pretzels dipped in frosting. What else am I supposed to do with leftover frosting? But I didn't e-mail anyone about it.

Yes, 3carnations, I am the hidden ball of rage in question. =)

Here's one from a recent e-mail by me: "I told him that I had absolutely nothing to say to him and then I turned to my computer and typed until he left my office."

And another: "That is weird. I mean, I have obvious rage issues, but I am not going to go up to [person I don't like] and tell her that she is retarded."

This is fun!

L Sass said...

I've been having a week-long back and forth with my BFF-NYC who is planning her sister's bridal shower. Between the two of us, we are determined to minimize the number of stupid games played at the shower and ramp up the number of fun games!

Stefanie said...

Liz--I'm sorry. I Internet-hug you, my friend.

3Cs--I'm sure there's probably more than one, but in this case, it's the same one you're thinking of. Also, I am way behind on my blog-reading at the moment, but I certainly need to read Jess's post. (As I just typed the possessive of her name, I made a guess as to what prompted an apostrophe post.) :-)

Jess--Now I definitely have to read that post. I'll be there soon! Promise!

Poppy--I love an enabler. Thank you.

Noelle--I got "winked" at by a guy whose profile outright says that HE does not respond to winks!!! WTH?? Double standard much??

R--Pretzels dipped in frosting sounds like a perfectly reasonable snack to me. Also, wasn't that second one also in an email to me? ;-)

L Sass--Wait. There are FUN bridal shower games?

Monkey said...

Any chance we can get more on #3?

-R- said...

Yes, it was to you. I haven't written very many non-business e-mails in the last day!

Lara said...

Hey, I was just thinking - you've been very consistent with these Friday Fives! I'm impressed, since I suck so badly at Haikuesday and all. I giggled at the idea of your sister and doorframes. Hee!

Also - L Sass, if you pop over here again and see this (doh! I should just comment on YOUR site), I once played a bridal shower game where everyone split into groups and had to make a wedding dress out of toilet paper. It sounds lame but was actually kind of funny.

nancypearlwannabe said...

The only emails I have been writing are apologies for not writing more often. I better get on that tonight.

Yours are hilarious, and remind me fondly on my internet dating days.

Stefanie said...

Monkey--You're a semi-reasonable drive away from Minneapolis... why don't you come and have drinks with us and find out for yourself?! ;-)

R--Ah. Just glad you weren't upset I outed you as a rage-ball again. :-)

Lara--I've actually missed quite a few Fridays in the past few months. It's hard to keep thinking of a new "five" topic every week! I imagine coming up with haikus would be even harder.

NPW--I really hope that someday I will look back "fondly" on my internet dating days. It could happen, I suppose...

maliavale said...

I do that ALL THE TIME with parmesan. It's good! And not a very fatty cheese!