Sunday, February 10, 2008

I'm a winner (and you can be, too)

People, I have news. The unthinkable has happened. I had two dates and a phone screening this weekend (yes, phone screening--haven't I told you that dating is a lot like work?), and believe it or not... none of them sucked!

I'll just pause for a second while you absorb that. Frankly I'm as shocked as you. I am reminded suddenly of one of Lara's very earliest haikus, written during her Match.com days...

Polygamist?

Have received emails
From various match.com
Boyfriends today. These

Guys are great! Honest!
What if I fall in love with ALL
Of them? Might happen.


Because I am nowhere near the shining ray of unbridled optimism that Lara is, I do not honestly anticipate falling in love with all three of these men and having to either move to Utah or hold some sort of awkward rose ceremony as an elimination round. But still. Two dates and a phone screening and I'm not writing any of them off yet? I'm pretty certain this is a first for me.

Bachelor #1 is six-foot-seven (six-foot-SEVEN!) and lives a mile and a half away from me. He is tall and geographically desirable! And he cooks, too! Also, he is an editor by day, which means that even though he inexplicably eschews capitalization in emails, he most likely knows the difference between its and it's. Obviously a second date is in order to find out more. On the negative side, if it doesn't work out, since he lives so close, we all know I am bound to run into him at Target. At least at 6'7" I'll see him coming. Advance warning always makes for an easier escape.

Bachelor #2 is a bit soft-spoken and hard to read, but aligns with me on several important life views (political, cinematic, etc.). He'd also very effectively round out my life menu with all sorts of useful skills I lack. He's worked as a chef, so he's likely even a better cook than the neighborhood giant, and he used to refurbish houses, so he could probably tell me exactly what I'm doing wrong with the half-assed basement beautification project I'm in the midst of currently. Incidentally, I might not actually have a second date with either of these men, as I may have picked up some sort of potentially fatal respiratory ailment by not wearing the proper safety equipment as I scraped the loose [undoubtedly lead-based] paint off said basement walls today and swept years of dust and debris into the trash. [Cough.]

I don't have much of a report on Bachelor #3 at the moment, as we haven't actually met in person yet. But we know that he digs bookish girls in sensible shoes, so clearly why wouldn't he like me, right?

Know who else likes me? My pal NPW, who was kind enough to bestow on me that "E for Excellent" award that's been making the rounds. You know the one...

Aw, thanks!

Thanks, NPW. I'm sending an "E for Excellent" nod right back at you, my friend. Actually, I was planning to repay that kindness by passing the award on to other excellent bloggers, but I have such a damn hard time narrowing those things down, and attempting to do so was creating entirely more stress than seemed reasonable or necessary. You're all excellent, really. Well, maybe not you. Kidding. You too. Give yourself a little pat on the back today.

I do have to pass out some other prizes, however, so let's get to that, shall we? I've been terribly remiss in not acknowledging Poppy's recent Pay it Forward contest, wherein NPW and I both won fabulous prizes from the Popster. NPW got a quiz bowl t-shirt in honor of her brilliant little nerdlets, and I got this:



You remember Jim Halpert, don't you? He was on this television show that we all liked to watch before that never-ending writer's strike took it away from us. I'll wear this shirt and think of you, Jim. Please come back to us soon, OK?

Anyway, to keep the good vibes and prize-winning going, I need to pass along some prizes here as well. I'm going to keep this simple and borrow Poppy's rules. I'm thinking of three numbers (I'll even write them down, to be all official, though of course I won't tell you what I wrote just yet). If your comment number is one of the numbers I choose, you win! I have no idea what your prize will be, but I promise it very likely will not suck. It also will (hopefully) arrive more expeditiously than the fabled Funky Carter prize packages. We shall see. So. In summary: leave me a comment (a nice one, please), and you might win a prize. Comments for me, prizes for you. It's a win-win, I say.

23 comments:

nancypearlwannabe said...

You know how I have to win. But I am afraid to keep winning these pay it forward prizes because then I have to actually pay it forward. Yay E for Excellent!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Okay, but I just need to know: did you pick number two?

Monkey said...

Good luck with the boy brigade.

Noelle said...

All I can think of is "it's raining men."

I'm holding out for Jim Halpert.

lizgwiz said...

Two good dates in a single weekend? It is absolutely the Year of Stef! I predict they will all fall madly in love with you, and you will be in the enviable position of getting to choose a winner. I wouldn't recommend the polygamy thing--have you seen "Big Love"? Hee.

-R- said...

At first I was rooting for the Neighborhood Giant because he is tall. But then I read that the second guy is handy AND can cook! So now I am rooting for the Handy Chef.

-R- said...

If I leave two comments, I have a better chance of winning, right?

Shannon said...

Wow! You had a busy weekend. It seems you have some good prospects and you didn't even have to brave the freezing cold of an outdoor event like the hockey thing you did awhile back. Looks like you just might have this dating thing mastered! Good luck and keep writing about it - makes us old, married gals remember when - ahhhh!

Erikka said...

good luck with the three hopefuls!

Lara said...

I can feel it - number 9 is the winner.

Also, I love that you used that haiku, which I had completely forgotten!

Lara said...

Crap. When I started typing that, I would have been comment number 9. I must amend my previous statement. TEN is the winner! TEN TEN TEN!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Did I win yet?

Stefanie said...

Ha. Two of you have won already. (You will have to wait to find out which two.) :-) We haven't reached the third number yet.

3carnations said...

The 6'7" guy who lives close by sounds great. But really, I'd be thrilled to hear that ONE of them isn't a dud. ;)

Jess said...

I had that same problem with the E for Excellent thing, and also totally skipped paying it forward. Because I suck.

Also, Torsten is 6'4", and everyone comments on how tall he is. I can't even imagine 6'7". That's just huge.

Poppy Cede said...

Jim is coming back in April/May!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOT!!!!!

PS - I totally choose bachelor #1 for you.

-R- said...

Was I won of the winners? Why do you tease me so?

Red said...

Love it! Can't wait to hear what happens with the boys. Also, the real Jim Halpert grew up in the city where I now live. So did the guy who plays the intern turned CEO. Another point for Boston, am I right?

Courtney said...

I want a prize! And I think you should get all three boys in a row of chairs, then put a wall between you and them, then ask some cheeky questions and see who comes up with the most creative slightly creepy response.

Kim said...

I'm totally voting for a rose ceremony! That would be awesome.

L Sass said...

Neighborhood Giant!!!! Best blog nickname for a suitor, ever.

Metalia said...

That shirt is incredible. Also, I say you settle the suitor question with a dating game-style show, a la Mallrats.

Aaron said...

Ah, damn me for missing this contest. Good news on the dating front though. And hey: there's worse things than having too many eligible suitors. Go Stef!