Friday, February 29, 2008

Some things are best left unsaid

Since this week we had a get-things-off-your-chest week (or rather, day), it seems as good a time as any to jump on a bandwagon I've seen rolling by a few times. I have no idea anymore where I first saw these "Things I wish I could say" lists, but I know Lara's done it and -R-'s done it and Abbersnail's done it... (Who am I missing? NPW? You did this too, right? Sorry to you and anyone else whose lists I'm too lazy to find.)

I'm going to limit my list to five because... well, because it's Friday and I need a Friday Five, but also because if I write any more than that, I'm apt to write things that people who actually read this will wonder about, and then they'll be all "Was that about me?? This one's towards me, right?" So let me just avoid any trouble and say right now: if you're reading this, it's not about you! (If it is about you but I don't know you're reading this, well, then, that's hardly my fault, is it? It is? Oh. Whoops.)

ANYWAY. Five things I wish I could say, or I haven't said, or I really probably shouldn't say.

  1. No one wants to hear you sing.

  2. Why aren't any of your pants long enough? I am taller than you are, and MY pants fit! Do you not own a mirror, perhaps?

  3. You really, really don't need to touch me just to get past me in a two-foot-wide hallway. In fact, you don't need to touch me ever. At all.

  4. I'm over it, but I still sometimes feel you owe me an apology for breaking my heart and a thank you for fixing yours.

  5. I know you've got some stuff to work through, but I still wish you'd try harder.

17 comments:

3carnations said...

Assuming the two foot hallway is at work, yeah, don't touch. I like that my coworkers do not touch me. When I actually had a female coworker, and we got along only civilly, she gave me a big hug when I got engaged. You don't have to give someone a hug that you don't like that much just because something exciting happened to them. Really.

Poppy Cede said...

These are the tamest ones I've actually read through.

I think you need more venom. More venom.

I also think you need a sign on your forehead that says "NO TOUCHING THE STEF!"

Poppy Cede said...

(PS - I wrote one of these posts but drafted it. Too painful.)

Stefanie said...

3Cs--Ugh. The hugging. The hallway guy is totally guilty of that, too. And I'm with you on the inappropriateness of it.

Poppy--You're right; they're pretty tame. I could have said more, but figured it would just get me in trouble. Maybe next Blog Share...

Aaron said...

Yeah, yours are actually pretty hilarious. When I did this last summer, it touched off a bunch of whining and paranoia amongst my readers.

Also, one of them was about Jenny Lewis.

Aaron said...

Also, I have Hall and Oates "Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid" in my head now.

Jess said...

There are soooo many people to whom I am dying to say some version of 2. You said it so perfectly!

-R- said...

Numbers 1 and 2 are about me! I know it!

You are no hidden ball of rage, my dear.

Monkey said...

Number 1- about a million people could say that to me. Could it be this person knows they suck- but singing makes them so happy they cannot stop?
Thank god for long car rides- if anyone ever wanted to know why I arrive to most long distance places a bit hoarse- well- you would only need to know that I have been spottedby more than one person I know using a "hair brush" microphone.

At least it is not whistling- holy mother do I hate whistling......
And yes, I realize I am a hypocrite. A sing-along loving hypocrite!

Stefanie said...

R--If your pants weren't long enough, that would be hilarious. And I've got rage and pain; just felt it best not to vent it, I guess. (Man, even after 39 blog share posts, you people still want more juicy stuff!) ;-)

And Monkey--I was going to add whistling, too (directed at someone else), but I had only five slots to fill.

bleeding espresso said...

The pants thing is definitely about me. I'm off to unhem.

lizgwiz said...

Well, I'm sure number one is not about me, but number two...I'm sorry! My height is out of proportion--I am all legs and no torso. You didn't buy that those were just really long capris? ;)

don't call me MA'AM said...

But, but... I'm a good singer. Really I am. Is it maybe just the choice of songs you don't like? Perhaps that is the problem.

Please accept my apologies. I promise to stop singing Grease 2 medleys around you.

:-)

Lara said...

I would like to say all of those things to a LOT of people. I can also perhaps answer #1 for you, because I know i"ve been guilty of wearing short pants before. In that instance, I had washed a pair of previously-well-fitting pants. Once they were clean, the damn things fit just fine everywhere but the legs - I swear to god, they shrunk ONLY IN LEG LENGTH. At that point, I had no other clean clothes, I was running late to work, AND I wanted to get at least another couple of wears out fo the pants before chucking them - and so I decided to just fuck it and wear them. Even though they were highwaters. I am not winning any fashion awards, obviously.

Pam said...

nice list! I'm stealing your idea that you borrowed from others and using it for my Friday post too.

And I agree with #1. Same goes for whistling.

And what's wrong with Grease 2 medleys?

L Sass said...

Hey, Stefanie. I'll have you know that A LOT of people want to hear me sing!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Yep, I did this back in May of last year or so. Mine was nowhere near as hilarious as yours though!