Thursday, November 15, 2007

Ooh! It! Feels good to be free!*

Many of you have probably already heard about this fun little experiment called the Blog Share, which -R- organized as a way for all of us to air our dirty little secrets to the Internet anonymously. That means today's post here at Stefanie Says comes from an unnamed blogger, and I have an anonymous post floating around somewhere on the Internet as well.

My guest blogger has obviously familiarized herself with my blog, as she chose to let her post continue my alphabet theme. I assure you, however, her chosen subject is not my "L" entry in the Encyclopedia of Me. I may be a liberal with a love of lip balm and libraries, but that's about as far as I relate to this one.

And with that, take it away, anonymous poster!


"L" is for "Leonard."

Leonard, you say? What with the huh now?

I refer, of course, to Leonard Nimoy, otherwise known (to me, and those few select friends with whom I have previously shared this particular attraction) as the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. (And let me just be clear--I do not have a crush on Mr. Spock. Okay, wait... I do, a little. But I have an even bigger crush on Leonard.)

I'm not kidding. I love him. I have a life-sized cutout of him (as Mr. Spock) in my living room. (Well, actually I have the top half of the cutout--he was cut off at the knees by an evil cat and her claws. Sorry, Lenny!) I used to write in his name in all the sexy man magazine polls. I don't know why he never won.

Seriously, watch this, and then tell me the man's not hot! (And dig those hip backup dancers. Groovy, baby!)

He's a true Renaissance man--actor, writer, director, singer, photographer, and poet. I actually purchased a book of his poetry on Ebay (for $1--what a deal!), and I will quote some of it for you now (with Leonard's own inimitable spacing): (Editor's note: Sorry, guest poster; I don't think Blogger likes the forced spacing. My apologies that this likely won't look as it's supposed to.

You mean so much
to me

I wish
I could be

A cushion following you
Wherever you go
To be there
In case you should fall.

I won't do that.

It would deprive you
Of your self-respect
But please,
If there is a bruise,

Let me help to heal it.

See? Deep. He wrote it just for me. Really. The name of the collection is "These Words Are For You." For ME. Swoon. He wants to heal MY bruises. (He might want to rethink that particular phrasing, actually, given how clumsy and accident-prone I am. He might not have time to do anything else but tend my bruises, and the world NEEDS his special talents.)

Okay, true confession time. His poetry is crap. (WHO SAID THAT?) But I stand by my declaration of love, nonetheless. Oh, Leonard... I hope you live long and prosper. (Call me!)

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'll attempt a quick and dirty list of other "L" items that give or have given me pleasure.

  • Lilies, stargazer (Want to woo me? This is how.)

  • Lyle Lovett ('nuff said.)

  • Lifetime TV movies (You watch 'em, too!)

  • Lemons (Tart!)

  • Limes (Tangy!)

  • Lean Cuisines (The single gal's best friend.)

  • Lipstick, lipgloss, lip balm (Say no to chapped lips!)

  • Lapidary (Pretty, pretty stones.)

  • Language (Duh.)

  • Laughter (The best medicine.)

  • Libraries (Books, books, books!)

  • Limericks (There once was a man from Nantucket...)

  • L'Engle, Madeleine (Rest in peace.)

  • Lettuce (Something's got to hold the dressing.)

  • Liturgy (Rites and rituals.)

  • Lift-off tape (What, you've never made a mistake?)

  • London (I see London, I see France...)

  • Lucy (I Love.)

  • Lipman, Elinor (Sometimes you just want a fun read.)

  • Lamps (Say no to harsh overhead lighting.)

  • Liberals (Lean to the left!)

  • Loaves of bread (Take that, Dr. Atkins.)

  • Linda Lovelace (Kidding! Wanted to see if you were still with me.)

Okay, now my brain hurts. So I'm going to get the "L" out of here (groan) before I start adding things like "La Brea Tar Pits," "Liberace" and "Loch Ness Monster."


Want to read more anonymous posts? Here's a list of all the participating blogs--one of which is hosting an anonymous post by yours truly. Think you know which one it is? (If so, don't spill it in the comments here! It's a secret. Got it? OK!)

And You Know What Else
Bright Yellow World
Confessions of a Novice
Everything I Like Causes Cancer
Face Down
Liz Land
Muse On Vacation
Nancy Pearl Wannabe
Not What You Think It Is
Operation Pink Herring
Red Red Whine
Reflections in the Snow-Covered Hills
Sass Attack
Stefanie Says
Thinking Some More

* I doubt even my guest poster caught the reference in the subject line, but surely there are at least a few Rilo Kiley fans out there!


shelleycoughlin said...

Yay libraries and lip balms! This cracked me up:

I wish
I could be
A cushion following you
Wherever you go

Hello, bizarre stalker Leonard!

3carnations said...

Very nice post. May you and, your Leonard very happy together.

This is one of the few anonyposts that for some reason has me screaming "I think I know who wrote this!" Awful lot of clues in there.

Call me Nancy Drew. :)

Anonymous said...

This is so cute, I want to hug whoever wrote it.

Stefanie said...

By the way, I just have to say that if you didn't click that first link my guest poster provided (the one to Leonard on YourTube), DO IT!! I promise it will very likely be the most awesome thing you've seen all week.

-R- said...

This is so wacky. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, this is too funny.

I saw him once at an EarthWalk in LA in the early 90's. He walked fast.

steve said...

I was at the W Hotel in Los Angeles, enjoying a beer with a friend on the bar's outdoor patio. Behind me, at another table, I could hear a voice that I recognized but just couldn't place. Then it hit me: Spock! Of course it was Leonard Nimoy - that voice is uniquely his. I tried to listen in on his conversation, but he was a little too far away. He was seated with three women all roughly his age, all very snappily dressed.

Gwen said...

Spock was great but I'm a Picard gal. Jean-Lus is de-Lish!

Great post!

Gwen said...

I meant Jean-Luc.

Aaron said...

Um, hi, World's Biggest Jenny Lewis stalker? I started singing Rilo Kiley before I even finished reading the post title. I don't lie when it comes to JLew.

Plus, there's no reason for this person to hide behind an anonymous wall of shame. I mean seriously: dude played Spock.

L Sass said...

I love Leonard Nimoy, too! Not only is he a geek hero, but he is very philanthropic and he's a smart dude. The poetry? Notsomuch.