Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Full frontal

As I've said before, I really do appreciate the fact that my employer grants me a free gym membership as part of my benefits package. I've even more or less made peace with the fact that I occasionally run into not-quite-strangers in the locker room at that gym. What I am not yet comfortable with (and likely never will be), however? When those not-quite-strangers are actually my coworkers or--worse yet--my boss.

Today, in a fine example of unfortunate timing, my boss walked into the locker room and around the corner directly towards me just as I was peeling my sweaty sports bra over my head. That's right--arms up, girls on full display, stark bare and probably blindingly white under the industrial fluorescent lights. I'm sure it was quite a view... particularly from her sudden vantage point less than eighteen inches away. Really I have no idea which of us was more uncomfortable at that moment: me or her. I'm going to have to go with me, but it's probably a tossup.



What? If I'm ever going to tell a story about my breasts, it might as well be during November sweeps, right? (Or at least during November NaBloPoMo, where the story is set to remain in top position for no longer than a day.)

In other gym-related dilemmas, here's a question for you... When you make the genius move of somehow packing your workout bag and forgetting to include socks, which is the better solution: hitting the treadmill sockless, or in the brown wool socks you wore to work? I thought I made the right choice, but the raw skin under the broken blister below my ankle is currently telling me otherwise. Ow.

I am so smart. S-M-R-T.*



---------------------
* I told you I had the appropriate Simpsons reference for damn-near every situation in life...

13 comments:

maliavale said...

I get crazybad blisters if I run a) with no socks, or b) with the wrong socks, so I'd use it as an excellent excuse to take the night off.

Of course you have other options, like buying a new pair of socks in the gym store (if yours has one) or doing something that doesn't involve sweaty feet, but neither of those involves taking the night off and drinking wine, so less fun. For me, the brown socks aren't even an option.

Oh my God. I'm a sock snob.

Babs said...

oooh, I found your blog through the NaBloPoMo randomizer, and what an awesome post as an introduction! If it had been my boss, I would've been mortified... but it sure makes for a good blog entry. :)

Anonymous said...

In law school, H saw our law school professors naked in the school gym's locker room. Repeatedly. Thank goodness most of our professors were men because one should NEVER see law school professors naked. Your friend should be grateful that she only had to see feet!

stefanie said...

Malia--See, the hardest part of getting to the gym is getting there, so once I was already in the locker room, I didn't really want to bail on the plan. Plus, it was a lunch-hour workout, so wine was sort of out of the question. You're right, though; I should have done something other than the treadmill, but that's what I was in the mood for today. I don't know if my gym sells socks... I should have asked, I guess!

Babs--Cool. Welcome! :-) I'm getting a lot of hits through that randomizer thingie. With 400-some blogs in play, I'm amazed that thing ever lands on me, but obviously it must!

R--I love that you're commenting on the post I linked to, rather than the current post. :-) Glad to see someone actually goes back for the reference point when I link it! And I agree--you should never see your professors naked. It's an excellent rule as far as I'm concerned.

Darren McLikeshimself said...

Sockless.

Okay, what do you do when you forget your underwear? I've done that at least once or twice, and I have never felt so pervy or porn star-y than when I slipped on my track pants commando style in front of everyone else in the locker room. I swear I wanted to go home and take another shower.

guinness girl said...

I tried going sockless at the gym once and it was fairly miserable. I've got another one for ya: what if you forget your shoes? Because yes, I have been known to do that. One time, I gave up and went to drink beer instead. Another, I did the elliptical in my socks. Which was worse? I told myself nobody was looking at me because I am, in fact, not the center of the universe (shock!), but...were they snickering at me behind my back?

guinness girl said...

PS - you should read Me & Emma next. By Elizabeth Flock, I think? Somebody Flock, at least.

stefanie said...

Darren--Luckily I have never actually been faced with that particular dilemma. Commando is probably the way to go, though, as opposed to the alternative of putting back on the ones you wore during the workout. (Ew.) I was actually going to mention that this would be a worse dilemma, but I figured I'd already shared enough probably-too-vivid imagery in this post.

GG--When I first joined the gym, I realized on the way to work that I'd forgotten the entire gym bag. I was kind of in the market for new shoes anyway, so I actually went to Target and Famous Footwear over lunch and bought a whole new outfit so I could still hit the gym after work. I probably wouldn't do that again, though.

I am totally laughing at the idea of you on the elliptical in your socks. :-)

Also, I have already started "Assassination Vacation" (which has been sitting on my filing cabinet for months and which is the only Sarah Vowell book I've not yet read). I forgot to update my sidebar. Thanks for the recommendation, though. I've added it to my library list!

3carnations said...

How awful! My bosses are both male, so thank goodness I could never be in that situation...Well, that and the fact that I have no gym membership.

For some reason that reminded me of the junior high school locker room, and how all of us awkward preteen girls learned to change our clothes without ever revealing a thing...

Anonymous said...

Did she say, "Nice rack," this morning when you showed up for work?

stefanie said...

3carnations--I've seen some awkward maneuvers at the gym, too, to try to avoid being naked in semi-public, but they always seem ridiculous to me. There was a girl once, for example, who put her sports bra on OVER her regular bra and then fanagled the regular bra out from beneath it. I think that absurd wrestling move actually drew MORE attention to herself than if she'd just gotten over herself and changed like a normal person. But anyway, I know what you mean, yeah.

R--Ew. No. Now THAT would be awkward.

Poppy Cede said...

Stef, I bet all she thought when she saw your boobs was, "nice rack. Oops, I hope I didn't say that out loud so she doesn't slap me with a sexual harassment suit. Which reminds me, I need to buy more bread so I can have some yummy toast for breakfast!"

So, don't worry about it. :)

Miss Peach said...

How about when you go to the gym before work, work out, shower, and go to get dressed when you realize you left clean underwear at home? That was one rough morning, let me tell you. Nightmare come true.