So remember when I thought it would be fun to have you guys send me all the burning questions that were on your mind? Remember how I was all "Send me questions! I'll answer damn-near anything!" And then I posted the first set of responses and thereafter promptly neglected the rest, seemingly never to return to them again. I am all about the follow-through, if you haven't realized this by now. Really some days I think it's a wonder I don't get distracted mid-task and end up leaving the house with only one shoe.
I am not saying I actually think any of you are losing sleep or harboring any deep-seated grudges over me not answering your very-important-question or anything. But what better time than "post-every-day-time" to pull the rest of those out? So here we go.
Q: Do you have a word that, when you hear it, you cringe?
A: Oh, so many, and none of them terribly original, I'm sure. There are the obvious and offensive ones, most of which start with a "c" and refer to parts of the female anatomy. And then there are the words that we all, for whatever reason, hate... like "moist" and "panties" (even more offensive if you put those two together, but let's just pretend I didn't go there, OK?). I'm sure there are more, but they're not coming to mind just now, and it's probably not the sort of thing I should dwell on to identify, don't you agree?
Q: What physical trait do you most like about yourself?
A: I guess I'd have to go with my arms, though it bothers me a little that I don't know whether this is my own real answer or if I've just decided it's my answer because no fewer than seven people have, for some reason, commented on my arms in the past less-than-a-year. Just last weekend, when discussing the strapless dresses we wore in my best friend's wedding in September, a fellow bridesmaid said that one of her paranoias with wearing it was, "Well, we had your arms to compete with..." I think she was exaggerating, but whatever.
I can't even find a reasonably decent photo of my supposedly enviable upper arms, but I suppose this is the best I can do. You really don't need to weigh in with any comments on this. I just thought a point of reference might be in order. It would be much more comfortable for me to talk about the physical traits I least like about myself, but that, of course, wasn't the question.
Q: Do you have any favorite names? (like for future children)
A: I could be all coy and say, "I can't tell you those; you'll just steal them for your own kids' names!" But let's face it. I haven't really given this enough thought to hold any real "ownership" of the names, and would I really care anyway if any of you took these names? Probably not. So then. For girls, I really like Alexia (which is my middle name, though I hesitate to tell the Internet that) and Madeline (even though this lends itself too easily to "Maddy," which would make people think she's one of the seven little Madisons in her class). Boys' names I haven't really given much thought since my late-90s Ethan/Noah phase. A friend of mine just named her new baby Oliver, and I do think that's kind of cute... Enough time has passed, I think, that I no longer associate it with the nerdy cousin on The Brady Bunch... Luckily, these are all dilemmas I don't think I'll need to worry about for some time. These are actually dilemmas I may never have to worry about, so I'm going to stop thinking about this right now.
Q: What is your favorite Simpsons episode?
A: Ooh! Thanks, -R-. I actually do have an immediate answer for this! My favorite episode, hands-down, would be This Little Wiggy, mainly because it is a Ralph-centric episode, and Ralph is my favorite. This episode features the all-time best Ralph Wiggum quote, actually--a line that for some reason didn't make that Wikipedia page. Ralph and Bart are in the abandoned prison, and a rat runs off with the Chief's master key, after which Ralph points at the crack in the wall and says, "The pointy kitty took it!" Classic. (Yes, I am easily amused.)
A very close runner-up would be El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer, more popularly known as "The Chili Cookoff" episode. I pretty much have this one memorized, and the best story my friend Dale told me last year ended with the line "and me without my chili boots," so clearly I am not alone on this. Plus, Johnny Cash guest starred as a space coyote in this one, and really, how can you go wrong with that?
Q: How do you feel about pepperoni?
A: You mean as a general concept or as a pizza topping? If we're just talking general terms here, I have no real qualms with the stuff. If I'm putting meat on my pizza, I typically prefer chicken or prosciutto, but when limited to the mainstream, ghetto choices of pepperoni vs. sausage, I'll pick pepperoni every time.
Q: Would you be willing to shave your head for a charitable cause?
A: I have a hard time envisioning any scenario where people would pay money to see me with no hair, so I'm going to have to go with "no" on this. It's not that I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my hair for a good cause; it's just that, if we're talking about the maybe $30 someone might scrape together to make something like this happen, I'd rather put the cash in myself than make myself even less attractive than I already feel on a bad day.
Q: Are you a coffee drinker?
A: If by "coffee" you mean the tasty, sweet, syrupy flavored treats you can get at just about any coffee shop these days, then, yes. Which reminds me, pumpkin lattes aren't going to be around forever... I should really head in to a Starbucks to partake of one again soon.
Q: If aliens landed in your back yard and gave you one minute to describe everything there is to know about human behavior, what would you say?
A: This is the question I had no idea how to answer when Stinkypaw first sent it, and I regret to report that I still don't have much for a response now. Current events are leading me to take the easy way out with some lame over-generalization like "Boys are stupid," but I know that is neither fair nor universally true. Anyone else want to take this one? Really, I'm curious what the rest of you might have to offer.
Q: What is your most favorite thing in the whole wide world to do?
A: There are many things I really like to do... take walks by myself, watch movies, travel, hang with friends, read, knit, waste hours trolling blogs... Pathetic as it sounds, though, the only thing I can think of that always, always, always makes me happy is going to bed knowing I can sleep in as late as I want the next day. Is "sleeping" the lamest possible answer as my favorite thing to do? I don't care. Do not underestimate the joy of no-alarm-clock days.
Q: What's the meaning of life?
A: Have you ever noticed that sometimes, something you read in a book or saw on TV at some early, formative age actually sticks with you for years and years beyond when it maybe should? That said, I'm going to have to go with a Mallory Keaton insight that I've already mentioned once before: "Be happy, try not to hurt other people, and hope you fall in love." Works for me; do you agree?
I think that about covers all the questions I've received to date. It's only November 18, though, so if there's something else you want to ask, feel free to send it my way. There's no better time than right now to give me idle blog post topics, after all.