Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Satan is my motor; GG is my wingman

As I mentioned not too long ago, I've been thinking that it's time to put myself back on the online dating market again. I needed a break from it for a while, yes, but now suddenly I am envisioning myself dateless on New Year's Eve yet again, and I am watching people who've been in relationships more recently than I have cut ahead in line and find themselves coupled off in a happy two-by-two, and it's making me think "Hey wait a minute! My turn!"

So I need to get back out there again, amusing and aggravating and occasionally painful as it is. Damnit, I will find that diamond-in-the-rough; the question is just where and how to do so. The simplest course of action would be just to reactivate my meMarmony profile... to send another payment Dr. Warren's way and let him start matching me yet again. While I actually do like certain things about that system, however, I can't help but think I should maybe give another site a try.

I can think of several reasons I've been reluctant to try out any of the many other date-finding sites out there, but I will admit that my major hurdle is the damn profile. Obviously I can babble about all sorts of nonsense on the Internet (this I have proved many times over, I'm sure), but give me 4,000 characters to describe who I am and what I want, and I have absolutely no clue whatsoever where to start.

This is where friends come in. After Guinness Girl told me how helpful her friends were in constructing the profile that eventually nabbed her Wilman, I thought, "Yes! My friends! Surely they would have some idea who I am and why I'm likable!" Unfortunately, either my friends don't actually like me or they have no idea why they do, because my requests for "how would you describe me?" have been met with little more than blank stares. I know I am blunt, girls. I know I care too much about misused apostrophes. Besides that, isn't there anything my advisory board could say?

Guinness Girl is determined to keep me away from meMarmony and moved on over to Match, however. How determined is she? So determined that she actually wrote a profile for me. God love the woman; what on earth can I delegate to her next?

If by chance you have ever wondered just how well someone can get to know you based solely on the blog entries you write and the comments and e-mails you share, a task like GG's might be a good test. Consider the evidence: GG's submission for my "More about me and who I'm looking for" box...

I am a self-proclaimed nerd who likes independent films, girly shows on The WB, good music, reading, traveling, long walks on the beach, pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I am, on occasion, a bit of a smartass. I hate to cook, but I demonstrate my domesticity in other ways (like knitting). My favorite form of exercise is yoga... or maybe the exertion of lifting my wine glass from table to mouth. I grew up in a small town, and consequently doubt I'll ever live far from a big city. I frequent tikki bars and restaurants with all-you-can-eat sushi floating around in little boats. I love fall festivals and cheese curds and honeycrisp apples. I don't have any pets. I once bought a necklace made out of a semi-colon typewriter key*. I sometimes attempt DIY projects on my house that take me twice as long as they should and sometimes end in me calling a professional to put an end to my misery. I have a fantastic group of friends who make up my "urban family."

As for who I'm looking for... basically, I want someone smart and funny who thinks I'm smart and funny, too. Bad spellers need not apply.


Incidentally, that second-last sentence is the only one GG took from me verbatim. Real-lifers, what do you think? Does she have me pegged or no?


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* Because I am the keeper of the semicolon

13 comments:

Jenny said...

If I were a guy or a lesbian I would totally date you based on that profile.

3carnations said...

Nice. I was surprised to learn that the sushi in floating boats was a major enough thing about you that it warranted mentioning in such a brief paragraph. Apparently you're all about the sushi...

stefanie said...

Jenny--Heh. Thanks. Didn't you say that to me one other time, too? (Or was that someone else's comment?) You're totally hitting on me through my blog, aren't you? ;-)

3Cs--Well, there's no telling just what GG will find notable and important. :-) I figure she had limited material to work with and she found the sushi boats particularly amusing.

guinness girl said...

Hee! You figured right on the sushi boats. Honestly, I hammered that out in a short while and just love the image of plucking sushi off a plastic boat as it drifts by. :)

lizgwiz said...

I think that's a fabulous profile. I would totally answer it. If, you know, I was a guy, and straight, and looking for someone on Match. I think GG has a future as a profile writer. (Wonder what she could come up with for me?)

Stefanie--if you ever came to Tulsa, I would totally take you to the Sushi Train. Same idea as the little boats, but it's a toy train. What's up with sushi and whimsy?

stefanie said...

Liz--A sushi train? I LOVE that! Sushi whimsy indeed.

Anonymous said...

Were I single, I would ask you out based on your love for honeycrisp apples alone. GodDAMN do I love those things.

I'm with GG on the Match thing - I had good luck on Match myself, but have heard less-than-stellar reviews about meMarmony.

stefanie said...

Digital Janitor--Wow. That's some pretty stringent criteria there. Then again, I did once go out with a guy who considered it a major plus that I love Taco Bell. You guys are funny that way.

nabbalicious said...

I think that's a great profile, too! GG should go pro with those things.

Miss Peach said...

Um, Guiness Girl? Can we talk? Because Stef has convinced me to try this again, and that's the best profile I've read, possible ever.

Simone said...

I'd have to say it's pretty damn good - and close to the mark!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I'm a little behind.

That's amazing. She's good.

Jamie said...

It's so dead-on that I could swear you wrote it yourself, Stef! Go, GG! (Hey, can you write one of those for me, too?) ;)